Oh the waiting....

eviec1

I just had my biopsy on Tuesday and expect the results to come today or tomorrow (I was told likely, but not definitely, by the end of the week). I am all over the place emotionally. One minute I feel pretty good and think, it could be nothing and even if it's something, it's probably super early and treatable. And then the next minute I'll feel some spasm in my back or tingling in my foot and start thinking the worst - that it's moving fast and has already spread. I've also been super tired - not sure if it's the stress or part of recovery from the biopsy or a sign of illness. All I know is that the waiting is awful and I'm finding it terribly hard to concentrate and get anything done. I imagine it is similar for all.

AliceBastable

It would help anyone who wants to respond to know a little background - did you find a lump? Was something found on a routine mammogram? What did the mammogram report say? Did you have an ultrasound earlier, or at the same visit as the biopsy?

Good luck and try to plan some fun things to do while you wait, and after you get the results.

eviec1

I went for a routine mammogram - my first one, no less! They found suspicious calcifications which required a diagnostic mamm with magnification which confirmed calcifications (heterogenous and punctate) in a segmental pattern warranting a BI-RADS 4B. The radiologist who read the mamm said he was pretty certain it was DCIS, not likely IDC, but obviously can't rule anything out based on the mamm alone. So I was referred to a biopsy.That happened on Tuesday. After the biopsy he said there was some inflammation or something around the area of calcifications which could indicate invasive disease, but he believed this less likely than pure DCIS. I am just going out of my mind worrying about the great unknown of it all. And to make matters worse, I have had some shoulder/arm pain for a few months now which I figured was something muscular, but now I'm worried it could be bone. And the more I think about it, the worse it starts to feel (which I try to tell myself is just my brain playing tricks on me).

tntnsd

Hi Eviec1,

I am sorry that you have to be in this waiting phase. It is hard to not worry with all the unknowns, our body tends to react, itching out of nowhere, our minds tends to think negative ..., but I hope that your biopsy turns out to be benign. If it is not, look like it is discovered early and treatable (DCIS, and most of IDC). (I just had 3-month follow-up with my breast surgeon yesterday, she couldn’t be happier for me on how well I healed and well since my diagnosis end of last year).

Hope you have distracted activities or family can help you while waiting.

eviec1

Thanks for your encouraging words. I supposed to be working right now (I'm fortunate to still be working from home as a result of the pandemic). Far too distracted to get much done, though (which makes me feel guilty on top of all the other emotions).

Salamandra

For what it's worth, it's pretty common to have a call back for a first mammogram. There is no baseline to compare your results to, so everything looks more suspicious. Also, if the docs were so sure it was malignant, they could've given it a birads of 5 or 4c instead of 4b, so maybe that is comforting also.

The waiting really super duper sucks, no matter which way you slice it.

Hopefully it's nothing. If it is something, hopefully it's DCIS. If is invasive, hopefully it's easily treated early stage. And in fact, all of these individually are way more likely than metastasized cancer, and as a group are overwhelmingly more likely.

But the unknown is always scarier than the known. Hang in there. If you need to ask the doctor for anti anxiety meds to be able to sleep/work/take care of yourself, go for it. Think about whatever other resources you have for dealing with waiting. If it is not benign, the only thing that's 100% certain is that there will be more waiting involved in the treatment process.

For me, I posted on Facebook the night before my biopsy, and the support and reaching out I got from friends was really heartening, even more so when I eventually ended up with a diagnosis. I also find certain video games very distracting and soothing.

eviec1

Yeah, I keep telling myself that, since this was my first mamm, it's possible that this is something that has been there for years and hasn't caused me any trouble, and may not cause any trouble now.

As for posting to FB (or elsewhere) to get support...I haven't told anyone about the mamm call back or biopsy....The fact is, I don't really know much yet, and don't want to worry anyone needlessly. It's enough that I have to worry!

Zoey86

hi, I'm in same boat. Waiting on biopsy results from Tuesday and was told should have them by end of week hopefully. Also BIRAD 4. Mines is a suspicious lymph node. Waiting is terrible. I'm having same thoughts one minutes I feel like maybe it's ok next minute I'm dying. Doesn't help I've been having loss of appetite and back pain for months. I’m also same age as my mom was when she got hit with cancer (34).

I was all ready to start living again after this Covid lockdown and now this.

I truly hope your results come back cancer free. Not sure what to suggest to do while waiting because it's all I can think about. I'm bit tired to , I think it's just our body recovering from biopsy and stress.

eviec1

Oh Zoey86 - I'm so sorry for all this. Almost everything you've written I could have written myself (with a few details changed). It is awful and I hope we both get an answer soon - even better, if it's a good answer! I'll hold you in my thoughts.

pudelpointer

I am waiting too. I had a biopsy on two spots on Monday, I should hopefully know the results tomorrow. My BiRads score is 5, so I am pretty sure I know the results. I have a large mass that was disguised by dense breast tissue. I have been getting imaging every 6 months for 2 years for another spot... But suddenly this 6 cm mass showed up! It had to be there of course, just hidding. It is near my chest wall so I fear it has spread there. My lymph nodes weren't swollen with the ultrasound so hoping that is a positive.

The waiting is the worst!

eviec1

I got my results this afternoon and, unfortunately, they showed cancer (idc and dcis).

I hope you get better results than me and get them soon so that you can move on from the waiting.

pudelpointer

I am so sorry you got that news today. I hope you are able to get your next appointments scheduled so you can get a plan in place soon.

eviec1

Yes, I hope so, too! I just want to get on with treatment ASAP, but right now I'm back to waiting...This time for the navigator from the multidisciplinary center I was referred to to call me and set up an appointment with (I think) the surgeon. There is A LOT of waiting involved in all of this.

Zoey86

So sorry to hear the results and hoping a smooth recovery for you.

I was told my results won’t be ready till next week so yeah still have no idea what’s going on.

eviec1

Oh no, Zoey86, I'm sorry to hear that. I know you're in for a long weekend waiting

JuliePink1959

I just joined this group and found it as I was scouring the internet for something to make me feel less terrified. I had a mammogram two days ago which had a problem: BIRAD 4b. I get a needle biopsy on Monday. I'm freaked. 4 years ago I had surgery to take out a golf-ball sized chunk of right breast, because needle biopsy showed atypical hyperplasia (which I think is pre-cancer?) This new problem is in the left breast. One reason I'm scared (other than the obvious) is that I was not able to get my mammogram this past November when I was supposed to. I had a heck of a year. Lost my mom last Mother's Day, then 2 months later, fell down stairs and broke arm, shoulder blade, and tore shoulder muscle. That stuff healed, but left me with a severely "frozen" shoulder. So, in November, I was scared to even try to lift my arm high enough for mammo, and I didn't want to have the squeezing of the machine to tear the shoulder muscle more. Anyway, whatever is growing in left breast has had 6 extra months to grow. I did have an ultrasound on left breast in November, and nothing was found. Now they're telling me that "there is tissue there that wasn't there last time." I'm so stressed. I'm afraid the grief I felt over the loss of my mom has given me cancer. Sorry I'm rambling. I'm a teacher and I was SO looking forward to finishing the semester and just being able to process my grief. And now this. Ugh. Thanks for reading. Sorry so long.

eviec1

JuliePink1959 I am so sorry for everything you've already been through and now this on top of everything else! The good news is, whatever's going on with your body, you're on the path to getting answers. I know it's going to be LONG weekend of waiting for the biopsy, only to be followed by more waiting. My biopsy results did up coming pretty quickly - in just two days - so they didn't keep me waiting too long, but it felt like FOREVER. I hope you can find some distraction this weekend to clear your head before Monday.

JuliePink1959

Thank you so much, Eviec1! The waiting is crushing and exhausting. It's just good to be among people who get it.

I'm watching mindless TV because I can't focus. I also want my mom, and that is its own ache. I hope your appt. with the surgeon goes well. If women ran the medical system entirely, I'll bet the waiting would be WAY less.

eviec1

I've only been on this site for a few short (but STRESSFUL) days and what I can say for sure is that people here are very knowledgeable, supportive, and helpful. So at least there's that!

JuliePink1959

I'm very grateful to have found it!