Mom is getting mammogram results tomorrow, depressed and angry

heklica

Hello everyone.

My mom noticed slight breast discomfort in her breasts that went away, so she went and saw her gyno. She examined my mom and said her breasts look healthy and good, but she sent her to breast ultrasound for her own sanity. The radiologist said her breasts look healthy and that the tissue was good, but she noticed some changes at the very end of the US exam. One change was in one breast 4mm, and the other change was in another breast was 9mm. Changes are different shapes and different echos. (I am translating this from another language since my mom doesn't live with me in the USA). The doctor referred her to get a mammogram and MRI. She classified her changes as DG BI-RADS 4 bill. She is getting her results in less than 12 hours. Every minute feels like an eternity. She is 58 years old. She had a hysterectomy with bilateral salpingectomy 17 years ago due to fibroids on her uterus and ovaries. I am angry at everyone. I fear the worst. I don't know how to cope with this. She doesn't deserve this. No human being does.

I don't even know what I expect people to tell me. Some comfort. Words of encouragement. Those things can be treatable. I am desperate. I feel like a part of me is dying. I can't cope with this.

ElaineTherese

Whoa. You don't know that your Mom has cancer. There is a very good chance that your Mom does not have cancer and that you are freaking out for no good reason. And, yes, breast cancer is treatable and many of us go on to live totally normal lives after treatment. But, just wait for her results before freaking out.

heklica

Thank you for your response. It means to hear from other people. Everyone is so brave and supporting.

KBL

heklica, I’m sorry you’re so upset. It is best to wait, although I know waiting is so hard. As much as you love your mom, as a mom of a 31-year-old, I can guarantee your mom is glad it’s her going through this and not you. Can you imagine if it was the other way around? No mom ever wants to see their child sick. I hope your mom’s results are benign. Hugs from here.

exbrnxgrl

heklica,

As others have said, you are getting way ahead of the situation. Angry, desperate, feel like a part of you is dying? Take a step back, take a deep breath and keep it in perspective.

- Your mother has not been diagnosed with breast cancer and the odds are that her mammo will be clear.

- In the event that she does have bc, you can’t even begin to speculate on her treatment plan or prognosis until far, far more is known. Breast cancer comes in different varieties, stages, grades, hormone profiles etc. It is not a single monolithic disease that is the same for all. I was surprised, when I was first dx’ed, to learn of all the different types and variations that fall under the breast cancer umbrella

It is worrisome to get this news but you don’t even know if she has breast cancer. Please keep things in perspective and deal with information you know. The what if’s can drive anyone crazy and again, desperation, anger and feeling as if a part of you is dying? I don’t want to invalidate your feelings but this might be a bit over the top considering that there is no breast cancer dx. Please take good care and wishing all the best for your mom.

Salamandra

It is very hard when the unfairness of life hits so close to home. The question of why bad things happen to good people is ubiquitous and there have been many responses, but I don't know that any of them are satisfying.

I think this is something we grapple with again and again. You will have to feel your way through on how best to grapple through it for yourself this iteration around. But it's not really about the possibility of cancer specifically - it could be anything.

Beesie

heklica,

I'm someone who tends to focus on the facts. Here are the facts:

- 10% of breast screenings result in a callback

- 95% of callbacks are found to not be cancer

- even when a biopsy is necessary, approx. 75% of breast biopsies are benign

- 80%+ of breast cancer diagnoses are early stage.

Take a deep breath and take a step back. You are imagining every worst case scenario. And at this point, all that's happened is that your mother has had an ultrasound that highlighted some changes and now she is getting more imaging done, a mammogram and MRI. For all you know, the imaging might show nothing of concern. And if there is a concern, remember that 75% of biopsies are benign, and 80% of breast cancers are early stage (and 9mm is very small!).

heklica

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I realize I'm taking this too far. I always go too far. It's the distance and my diagnosed anxiety. Everyone here is amazing. Your replies made my day more tolerable.

Beesie, those are some crazy statistics. But your words calmed me down, especially the one about the small size of the change in her breast.

Let's hope for the best. Thank you everyone.

LivinLife

Welcome heklica! You've received some good advice from all the others.... I'm glad it's helped you step back and calm more, esp. the facts Beesie listed. You mentioned your mom would be getting results in less than 12 hours when you posted. I'm wondering if you've heard anything yet? Thinking about you and your mom...... Please let us know how results turn out...

heklica

Thank you everyone one more time.

The doctor said the left breast was benign finding BIRADS 2 so no further evaluation needed.

Again, finding on right one was a little scary. Her breasts are type B, and they find a spicular zone (I hope I'm writing this well since I'm translating from a foreign language), 9mm without calcification and tumor mass. BIRADS 4A

Her gyno is optimistic, but they are going to do an MRI this Thursday. I'm feeling a little shakey, but it'll be ok. My mom is very optimistic, even if it's something more serious. She said she is a fighter.

Thank you, you are all wonderful.

Beesie

heklica, I assume by type B, you are referring to density level. Type B means scattered fibroglandular density which is a bit less dense than the average for her age.

A BI-RADs 4a represents a 2%-10% risk of cancer. Usually a biopsy is recommended (but it appears this may be different where your mother lives) but this is the lowest risk category for a biopsy.

I'm glad to hear that you mother is handling this well and is optimistic.

heklica

A little update on my mom. We are waiting for the doctor to review the MRI results. She did MRI with contrast. Tech told her that he doesn't see anything and that he is confused why they sent her to do an MRI. I am very upset that she would get such an opinion from a person that's not qualified. We should get the results reviewed by the doctor soon. I wish everyone the best.

exbrnxgrl

heklica,

Yes, the tech, though they may have a good bit of experience is not a qualified radiologist. But sometimes people do overstep, though I’m sure he/she was trying to offer your mom something positive. If you are very upset please lodge a complaint with the appropriate person. On the other hand, I hope the tech was right!

LivinLife

Fingers crossed and positive energy sent.....

heklica

Hi, wonderful and brave ladies.

I'm back with the not-so-good news. MRI results showed up a firm lesson in the right breast 8mm and one slightly enlarged lymph node. My mom is scheduled to have a biopsy soon and on the 21st, a term of doctors will set her up for her course of therapy if it turns out to be malignant. She is in BI-RADS 5 now. The radiologist and her primary care doctor are suspecting it to be a malignant tumor with very low chances of it being benin.

My mom is being very positive and strong. I know I have to be strong for her.

LivinLife

Sorry to hear this heklica! If indeed it's cancer it is good that it is small... hoping lymph node is more inflammation or something benign.... Glad you're able to be there for your mom though important you have a place to go too - part of that is this site. I hope you have some local support too.... Thanks for the update! We will wait to hear how the biopsy goes....More waiting for you and your mom meanwhile which is difficult....

kksmom3

As far as breast cancer goes, 8 mm is considered small. Very small. As far as the lymph node, it should be unlikely that cancer has traveled there already, but, unfortunately, can happen. At any rate, it really does sound like she caught it early. Her age will also factor into things, she may be able to skip chemo. It will depend on the type of breast cancer found. Prayers it isn't aggressive. The ladies here are super helpful and a great source of support. Your mom is lucky to have you.

Rah2464

Heklica sending positive thoughts that maybe just maybe your dear Mother will be one of the few birads 5 that are benign. Has to be someone. If not, as kksmom said 8mm is very small. And perhaps that lymph node was doing what it is supposed to do - gathering up any mess and preventing it from moving where it shouldn't. I do so hope you all get good news, but if not, we are here to support you both.

heklica

Hello again everyone.

Mom visited a surgeon and he told her her lesion is too small for a biopsy that they will schedule a group meeting with oncosurgen to discuss the results and options with biopsy to schedule for a surgery and remove the entire lesion and surrounding tissue. Tomorrow she will know definitely when she will get surgery.

I'm preparing for the trip as well. It's very important to me to be with her at these times. I just want to let you guys know that your words mean the world to us. You are all wonderful and brave.

GiddyupGirl

hecklica having my daughter with me when I went through my breast cancer two years ago meant the world to me. It gave me the strength to deal with all the stress that this diagnosis causes. I am sure you being there will give your mom the support she needs. Hoping for the best outcome for your mom, she already has an awesome daughter

LivinLife

The fact it is sooo small they cannot even biopsy is a good thing.... going right to excision and just take it out straight away.... Obviously decisions about next steps after that though this is a good starting point if it has to be cancer.... hoping other markers come back good as well- all of that is relative to some degree at this point. Great you can accompany your mom! You will be glad you're there and she will so appreciate that as well! Wishing you both well through this next step!