So worried about this

reallyscared123

I'm in the UK but found this forum to have been so supportive and helpful when I last needed help, and I now seek some rational thinking and support because I am finding this very hard to deal with. I last posted when I had a dent in my boob in 2016. All was fine then.

Last week I thought I found a lump in my right breast so went to the doctor. She couldn't find it but did find another lump/lumpy area which I hadn't noticed. I've been referred to the Breast Clinic. I did ask her if it was an urgent referral and she said no, but because I am in such a state about this, assume she is not telling me the truth. Of course I've consulted Dr Google and because I am now 57 I've convinced myself there is absolutely no other diagnosis possible than breast cancer. There doesn't seem to be any other cause for someone of my age and post menopausal and this can't be benign.

I don't want to appear flippant because this is a very serious issue indeed but I am beside myself with worry. Can't eat, feel sick, have an upset tummy, just want to run away and the next moment hide under the duvet. I can't seem to get a grip on this at all and my poor husband just cannot deal with me. My thoughts are so dark and I'm terrified of going to the appointment when it comes through. I'm frightened I'll faint or just run out. Am I overreacting? Are there are any stories of benign conditions for my age group? I'm just very very scared. I know no one can help me predict the outcome of all of this but I dont know where else to go for some sensible advice and help. Thank you for reading this.

orangeflower

Hi there. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a scare. Remind yourself that most breast lumps are benign. It could be just a fibroadenoma. I know it's hard to be patient while waiting for the result. Is there anything you could do right now to soothe yourself just a little?

AliceBastable

Please try to find some things to distract your mind. Whether the findings will be benign or not, there isn't a damn thing you can do to change it and you are going to drive yourself and your poor husband up a wall before you even have any testing. Watch silly movies, dance to fun music, go for brisk walks, take scenic drives, whatever suits your interests. I did as many fun things as possible before, between, and after the rounds of tests, two breast surgeries, another unrelated surgery, and radiation, and two years later, I remember the fun much more than the boring medical stuff.

exbrnxgrl

really scared,

Are you over reacting? In a word, yes, but you would hardly be the first one! Cancer is a very loaded word which provokes terrible anxiety in some people. Please focus on the fact that most lumps are benign, really. Many breasts are or can be lumpy or show all kinds of oddities which are not cancer. If your referral is not urgent it is because there is no reason for urgency and has nothing to do with your doctor telling you the truth. If you are that bothered by your doctor’s assessment you could seek a second opinion.

It sounds as if this situation has really impacted your life. May i suggest that you speak to a therapist about your health anxiety? Chances are that you don’t have breast cancer so why let worry destroy you life? Yes, the worry is understandable to some extent but a therapist can help you put it into perspective and allow to enjoy your life rather than worry about a disease you likely don’t have. As my mother used to say, don’t borrow trouble. Take care.

PS: Dr. Google is a very poor diagnostician. Stay away

reallyscared123

Hi Orangelower, thank you for responding to my message and so quickly. I really appreciate it. I feel humbled as I see that you have had to experience a very real issue and I know I shouldn't feel so weak before I actually know. As a family we've had some very traumatic and long-standing issues to deal with and when I lost my Mum in awful circumstances, it pushed me to the brink. I have only just started to recover and feel positive about the future so this problem makes me feel as if I am just doomed.

I've never been on HRT or any hormones (apart from a coil for a year about 15 years ago), so not sure if a fibroadenoma would be possible at my age? Perhaps I've just done too much reading. I can only wait to see. My Mum had several suspicious lumps in her 70's and 80's - all absolutely fine, so there is hope. I must be sensible about this.

I'm very grateful for your support. x

reallyscared123

Thank you girls for helping me to see sense. Actually, you really have. I know what you say is true and yes, I probably do need help with unresolved emotional issues. A good night's sleep and hopefully I can get off to a better start tomorrow. x

moth

Deep breaths - even if it is something, odds are overwhelming it's treatable. Really - you know this - no use in worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.

And I do agree that you might benefit from some therapy because here's the thing...as we age, shit really will start happening. Some serious, some less, some to us, some to others around us. But it will happen. It's been a stressful year, and we all need good coping mechanisms.

I'm prone to catastrophizing so I recognize when I see it. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/catastro... CBT is very helpful. It's practical very short term therapy and not a navel gazing "tell me about your childhood" type of therapy. Effective and evidence based.

Hang in there. Put on your big girl panties, go to your appointments, find out what they say and then you'll know. And don't assume your dr is lying - doctors really don't. And reality is she has no way of knowing what it is based on what you've said - we need imaging (and possibly biopsies) to tell. Just feeling something there is a first step. Breasts get lumpy and weird as we age - they just do. Just go through the steps and let the doctors figure out what - if anything - is there.

hugs

Beesie

"because I am now 57 I've convinced myself there is absolutely no other diagnosis possible than breast cancer. There doesn't seem to be any other cause for someone of my age and post menopausal and this can't be benign."

Absolutely untrue. Using my own example, I developed several cysts when I was in my 50s - and this was after having already been diagnosed with breast cancer. If you google, it says that cysts are most common in women in their 30s and 40s, but I know lots of women who've continued to develop cysts well past menopause. Fibroadenomas are a possibility too, although less likely at your age than a cyst. Additionally, there are other benign conditions that, while not really lumps, might feel like a lump.

Most lumps are benign. Is the risk higher for someone in her 50s that this might be cancer, as compared to someone in her 30s? Yes, but still, most lumps are benign.

If you are so frightened that you can't eat and are having dark thoughts, then yes, you are over-reacting.

And one more thing to consider... what if it is cancer? Well, look around. Every one of us here who's responded to you has faced a breast cancer diagnosis. Every breast cancer diagnosis is different, some more serious than others. But every one of us is here answering your questions and offering support. So even if it's breast cancer, you will deal with it, just like everyone else.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

peacejen

Reallyscared123, I don’t have information that the wonderful women haven’t already provided. I too have a symptom and am waiting to get some testing done. I can identify with your level of anxiety. I have health anxiety and should have addressed by now in my life. It can be debilitating and those closest to us suffer too in trying to deal with us when we are in the midst of a rough period. I hope all your exams result in benign findings.

Jen

reallyscared123

It's so kind of you all to reply and to give me some straight talking too. That's what I probably needed. Feeling a lot more in control today. Jen I will be thinking of you and hope your wait is not long and with a good result. Yes, I have health anxiety too, which started when I had other, non medical but serious issues to sort out in recent years. I would have thought I could have been more sensible at my age. xxx

LivinLife

I can't really add to what the others have said. Just want to reiterate most lumps and other things turn out benign. If it does turn out to be a precancerous, DCIS or even cancer then I think therapy will definitely be important for you. Could benefit you now given the increased emotion and likely more important then if you actually are diagnosed - sounds like there are some things to talk through and work on... Please let us know how things unfold and I'm glad you are here!

MelissaDallas

Another thing, your skin loses its “plumpness” and thins post-menopause, which also may allow you to feel subcutaneous things (that may have been there all along) you couldn’t feel before.

As to health anxiety, that is a whole separate subject and people supporting you here for specific breast issues can’t help much with that, except to encourage you to seek therapy. People tend to come on a cancer board and seek endless reassurance way past the time physicians have said that all is okay, when in reality there is not enough reassurance in the world to “fix” it for them, because they never believe it