Seeing yourself as a warrior

Keepmewell1

I'm interested in everyone's thoughts on some of the terminology used in breast cancer. I know that it helps some people and I am all for anything that helps anyone get through this. But I find the whole warrior thing upsetting. It implies fighting and that is exhausting. I work hard on living my best life with breast cancer. I have never participated in survivor walks because I am uncomfortable with the term.... my friend who was recently diagnosed with MBC was so upset because she was so proud of being a survivor and now didn't think anyone would see her that way. Are those of us with MBC not survivors because our journey will never be over? I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of "winning the fight." I have friends who have died from this disease and they fought as hard as anyone.... they just weren't as lucky. It might seem a silly thing to worry about but every time I see a commercial or post, it gets me thinking and I just wanted to see what others thought.

moth

You might find this thread a good read. https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic...

I think many of us do not like that terminology. But some find it empowering and it keeps them going. I admit I have a keychain thingy I got after finishing stage 1 treatment which says "kicking cancer's ass". It's on my backpack. It kind of makes me laugh now; I think it needs editing "sometimes you kick cancer's ass, sometimes it kicks yours"

illimae

The thread Moth posted is pretty active and we’re all over there sharing the same sentiments but yeah, I’m not a warrior. I’m dealing with a crappy new day job of managing my cancer, my doctors and my insurance but I’m trying to have a great time despite the challenges.

Anonymous

I tend not to get too hung up on words. I have to admit “warrior" is not a word I would shy away from. I was once told by a counselor I was seeing (way before cancer) that I seem to confront life as a fight to be won...so maybe that's why I don't shy away. It is kind of my natural stance and the initial part of getting treatment actually WAS a struggle for me so..¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But..I respect everyone's right to feel how they feel about certain words.

As for being a “survivor “ I addressed this in that other thread but..,yeah, at Stage IV it is highly unlikely any of us are “surviving “ this. But, I'd prefer to “survive" one day at a time. Let's face it...no human is a “survivor". Everybody dies, no one gets out alive. It's that we have a forced awareness that our expiration date is approaching. We are stuck with that knowledge while others can go about their lives in blissful ignorance and hope to live forever.

I do think the following issues deserve discussion, criticism and action: “pink" fundraising, campaigns that are trivializing breast cancer, campaigns and orgs that omit the concerns and the perspective of people with MBC, providers and staff who harangue us to “be positive “, focus on “awareness" when in 2020 we need research and support not awareness, routing donations toward real support, better treatment and hopefully cures so we can all become “survivors" who die of something else. And I must add..hopefully younger women who get stuck with this awful disease get to at least live out their normal life expectancy.

DivineMrsM

Some people draw strength from seeing themselves as warriors or battling cancer and I don't have a problem with it, but no one should insist we all view it that way. After all, who goes around saying "he lost his battle to emphysema" or "she lost her battle to that big semi that broadsided her SUV" ? Although I have a Wonder Woman avatar, it's not about some warrior approach to mbc, it's about me believing all women are powerful and wonderful. I never looked at mbc as a battle as I prefer a more harmonious life. There are other small things I insist on, like never capitalizing mbc and I never refer to it as "my cancer". I don't even phrase it as "I have mbc" but will say, "I was diagnosed with mbc". Small things to someone else, but important to me. That's great if someone can refer to themselves as a survivor of cancer; for myself, I always say I'm living with mbc. Because some see it as dying with it but I've had some of the best moments and times of my life since the mbc diagnosis, not because of it but in spite of it.

terri-c

I am not a warrior. I am not fighting a battle. Those things imply you can win. I'm just treading water while managing this mess my life became when an incurable disease invaded my body.

candy-678

I too don't get too hung up on words. But I am ok with "warrior".

Life is a battle/ fight. In the Bible it talks about putting on the Armor of God. Breastplate, shoes, helmet, sword, etc. Of course it is talking about something else. But, I think, life is full of several battles. I feel that this MBC I have had the last 3 years is a prolonged fight. Fight against fear, feeling physically sick, the mental aspects. And I like thinking I am a "warrior" --- strong and fighting till the end.

I do not like "survivor" though. Because, to me, that implies early Stage and finishing treatment. I will never experience that.

But everyone has their own opinion and all are ok.

I have not read that Thread that was mentioned--- I will check it out.

Sadiesservant

Hi Candy.

I also struggle with the term survivor. What does that mean? The unfortunate fact is, BC can recur at any time. I had a friend that used to talk about the Sword of Damocles hanging over us. As someone who had mets show up over 15 years after my original diagnosis... it's a crap shoot.