Why am I not more sad?

NLNatureGirl

Finished my first week of Ibrance. Zometa infusion last week. Also on letrozole. I retired earlier than planned. Oh yes. Diagnosed with bone Mets after 13 years living the life of cured. And I just keep wondering when is this new reality going to hit my brain, the world of my knowing. I am a Pollyanna and have always loved that. It was found with elevated tumor markers, followed by scans. No pain yet. Perhaps then ...

Gussy

I can't figure out why my MO says no to PET scan, which I've not had for two years. Says not until I have symptoms! I thought the thinking about breast cancer was catching it early. I have had breast cancer stage 3a, stage 1. So why not find out if something is brewing before it becomes a big problem? Does anyone else have this problem?

molliefish

perhaps because we all live in a constant state of wonderIn if it will happen or WHEN it might happen that when it does we are already prepared in some sad and resigned way?

exbrnxgrl

Gussy,

Catching it early refers to lower stage dx, not metastasis. I can’t get my hands on the study right now but it has been researched and it has been found the catching mets early does not prolong survival time, you just know about it earlier. This is still controversial and not everyone believes it to be true. I think I may be one of those people as my single bone met was found by accident. It was identical to my breast tumor and asymptotic. Had it not been discovered, I think I probably would have gone for many years without knowing it existed.

NLNatureGirl

Molliefish. Sounds like wisdom!! Best reason I’ve heard.

hapa

I can only speak for myself, but coming to terms with death was part of my process of moving on from my original dx. I'm going to die, it may be sooner than I had thought. I just had to accept this fact. And in reality, nothing was different as that was always the case. I also think that assuming you're going to be ok for the foreseeable future is the only way to continue living. I realize that there comes a day when you literally can't make that assumption anymore, but why live as if death is imminent when you don't know that to be true?

NLNatureGirl

To hapa. Perhaps that has helped me. Mortality just kind of settled in to my being the first time. And now with Covid, it makes it all the more obvious. People were making New Years resolutions never thinking of a pandemic. A blessing for me is that I get time. Time to enjoy the people and nature and moments and memories.