Breast cancer for my 40th birthday

Eucalyptia

I was diagnosed 8/27, 2 days after my 40th (stereotactic biopsy done 8/26). I'm not sure I fully understand the pathology, but my understanding is that there are 4 masses in my right, only one that was biopsied. I have aMRI biopsy scheduled for 9/9 in my left for another mass identified through MRI. I am brca2+, but this is all happening very quickly. I began screening about 2 years ago. My last mamo in feb showed some calcifications and these additional issues were spotted in the follow up screening. I'm meeting with plastics 9/9 as well and my tentative bilateral mastectomy surgery is planned for 9/22. My son turns 4 in October - I'm terrified. My husband is supportive but not a great communicator. I feel like I'm barely holding things together. Most of the time I'm in denial or completely ignoring it. I've not told friends or family yet (waiting for bigger picture from plastics on Wednesday). I just want all of this to go away. I can't imagine my body without breasts or having to deal with this while managing a toddler at home in the middle of a global pandemic. I'm overwhelmed.

edj3

Well that's the stinkiest birthday present ever.

You might ask your care team, specifically your nurse navigator if you have her/his name, for a referral to a therapist and other resources. You won't be alone in this journey and there's a ton of support for people with breast cancer. But right now, you wouldn't yet know about that, right?

These boards are also a great place to vent, cry, share news and updates with others who have walked the exact same path as you and who will understand in a very different way from those who haven't been diagnosed with breast cancer.

And a standard warning--don't google. Truly, there's a ton of bad information out there on the wild wild internet. Stick to this site or other very reputable sites (thinking Mayo for example).

But you're not alone. We're all right there with you.

Mama2FourKiddos

Hi Eucalyptia...I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have so much compassion for you. I too am 40 and just diagnosed on 9/3. It's scary and surreal and something I just had not thought previously I would ever have to deal with. My kiddos are 14, 9, 3 and 2 and my first thought when the process of them questioning my 1st mammogram a couple of weeks ago was, "My kids need their mom". So whatever I have to do, I'll do it and hold it all together for them. My husband, like yours, is a great supporter, but is a military man and not very emotional or easy to communicate feelings with. At first I chose not to talk, but everything was building up inside and honestly it was making the stress too much to bear, so I started talking/sharing and letting a few others in to help me through this journey (even before I was diagnosed). It has helped immensely and I'm able to breathe a little better. And the people I told have been wonderful...I think they feel appreciated to be trusted enough with the news and just want to help in anyway they can, even of it's just a listening ear. I had a MRI yesterday and I'm waiting on the results to see if they see anything else they want to biopsy. I'm scared, but trying to remain calm and reach out to others to just help me through the waiting and ready myself for the next step. Hang in there, reach out to others (definitely me included), just breathe and take it moment by moment. It's a lot to take in and process and you don't have to do it alone.

Eucalyptia

Thanks for your support. I hope your MRI comes back clean and if there’s anything I can help you with, please let me know. Today is one of those days to hug the little ones as close as we can. Xo

Eucalyptia

Thank you so much for your post. Right now, I’m allowing myself to indulge in some wine to relax, but I know that isn’t the answer either. It’s still so new- but I know I need to find someone to talk to. thanks for replying. Xo

2019whatayear

sorry you are going thru this - have you checked out FORCE they have peer support -For example you can find other local people who have defective genes :-) I have BRCA2 too - feel free to PM me anytime If you want to chat !

NorCalS

Eucalyptia,

So horrible to get any news of cancer, but worse right after your bday. For most, the initial phase is the toughest because we are in shock. I didn’t tell people initially either, because each time it made me break down. I realized that I needed to think about myself first and not feel guilty about telling people. It was just too hard for me emotionally. When you’re ready, then tell the ones you feel comfortable telling and those that will give you support. Please make sure that you feel comfortable and confident about your BC team. You are going to need them to do all that they can for you. You also deserve to be treated with the most effective treatment they can find for you. You are lucky to be close to Sloan Kettering, one of the best cancer centers. Even if they are not your primary, you can go to them for second opinion, etc.

The women and men on this site have a ton of information. When you’re ready, review some of the threads. There are some good ones on clinical trials and new research on BC. For some it is depressing, for others like me, it gives us hope. Also, there are alternative techniques that can help with side effects of chemo, which for me and others helped.

Wishing you well

msphil

hello sweetie was diagnosed at 42 and no history in family and also planning our 2nd marriages. I didnt want to go into a new marriage with 1 breast.but my fiance at the time now husband said i dont care about your breast i want you here. That touch my heart so i had my cry and scream then decided to fight the good fight with my faith and support from family and friends. Positive thoughts and Hope got me thru all this so decided to have mastectomy instead of me wanted lumpectomy. Sweetie Praise God i am now a 26 yr Survivor this yr. For Inspiration hold on have Hope. I had expander put in at time of nastectomy for reconctruction But my body rejected it and had high fever it was removed been wearing prothesis in my bra cant tell at all. Hang in there. msphil idc stage2 0/3nodes 3mo chemo befote n after Lmast then got married then rads and 5yrs on tamoxifen.

Eucalyptia

Thank you.

I finally met with oncology yesterday and at least I have a plan. I'll need chemo. Not starting until end October and more info is needed. Did bloodwork yesterday. No new boobs until next year/ exchange will be February (I hope). Tamol and herceptin / some other drug through IV. 12 weeks. Once a week. I can cold cap to try to save my hair. If anyone has experience/ or if there's a group to direct me towards, it would be greatly appreciated!

ElaineTherese

Hi!

Sorry that you got such an unpleasant birthday gift. Remember that triple positive breast cancer is a marathon and not a sprint. However, if you just focus on getting through one part of treatment at a time, it won't be as onerous. Of course, there is a thread for cold capping. See:

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/6/topics/735873?page=709#post_5595634

((Hugs))

MinusTwo

Sorry you've had to join us. Below is a link with tons of tips about chemo. You should also search for the current chemo group - like October chemo - and i also read the month before I started. It helps to go through this with others.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69/topics...