Old and sick of staying inside

Anonymous

I've barely been out of my house (a small apartment) going on five months. I had just moved to a new state when the coronavirus hit. Didn't even have time to make new friends. My doctors, because of my age (76) and some health issues, want me to avoid going out.

I haven't been food shopping (I have my food delivered) or to a store during this time. I recently started going to a few doctor appointments, but have put off several annual check-ups. About six months overdue for them, including a dentist. I do visit with my daughter a couple of times a week, and take brief walks in the community where I live.

I'm thinking of going out a bit more (wearing a mask) such as to the food store, taking my car in for repair, shopping for a few clothes that I need, making a quick trip to Home Depot, etc. But the doctors have inadvertently scared me so much that I'm hesitant to do so.

Anyone else in this situation? What do you do?

Spookiesmom

I do go to the grocery, a few dr appts. I do curb side pick up for dinners. Dog park almost every night. I will venture into Walmart, get what I need, then out. No poking around the whole store. Mask always, except dog park.

We aren’t on lockdown so nobody is saying I can’t, for the most part, I just don’t. Use common sense, try to enjoy the small things.

edj3

I live in Kansas City on the Kansas side--both sides have mandated masks for all indoor retail/office locations, although I still see people without masks (insane). I say that for background information.

My company moved to work from home on March 13 and we're still doing that. We'd set up a schedule for returning to headquarters starting in June but that was always voluntary. The expectation was we'd be able to all return after Labor Day. On Tuesday, that changed and we are all to work remotely if our jobs allow through the end of the year.

So you asked what others do. I've gone into the office three times since March 13: twice because I needed to change my password (MUCH easier on the company domain) and once a couple of weeks ago when our entire neighborhood lost internet.

I do shop at Trader Joe's, Target and a regular grocery store and take advantage of the hour set aside for those who are 60 and older, or have a risk factor that would make COVID worse for them. Since i'm both 60 and have reactive airway disorder, I fit the category.

I've picked up carry out a couple of times from various restaurants.

I've had my (rescheduled) dentist check up, a mammogram, two MRIs (first one was messed up), a follow up appointment with my endocrinologist, three visits with my orthopedist (I broke my foot), and I will have follow ups with my medical oncologist and my dermatologist (for melanoma) in September.

I also run outside but I go so early that I never see anyone so I don't bother with a mask (few people like to run at 4:30 AM).

What I am not doing:

• Eating in restaurants
• Attending church at my church
• Shopping in clothing stores (I buy online and either have it shipped or I do curbside pick-up)
• Going to others' houses
• Traveling to see family or just to get away
• Taking an Uber anywhere

AliceBastable

I've been to a grocery store once and a drugstore once since it all started. My hubby is the designated errand-runner since he's already exposed to people through his work (although it's mostly a skeleton essential staff). I'm 70 and also have a few health issues, so I'm extra cautious. But we get out and drive around, and instead of going to restaurants, we've started going on picnics to uncrowded parks. Is that something you could do with your daughter?

candy-678

I have low white counts from my treatments. I fear/respect the virus. Lots of cases in my area with more cases reported everyday. I do my shopping (grocery and other stuff) online with delivery and/or curbside pickup--no inside stores for me. I watch church services online-- no in-person services for me. Do drive thru banking and pharmacy. Only place I go in person is the doctor. And no dentist since all this started. 1 haircut since all this started and afraid to do another. No restaurants. No friends houses, or them over to my house. When I do venture out- doctor- I wear mask and scrub hands when get home. I use hand sanitizer when touching things i.e. bank drive thru container.

I understand you viewfinder. I am 49 years old (no longer in the workforce due to cancer). Even though I am not "old", I do feel isolated and alone. All my friends want me back at church, or for us to do something social. They do not understand my concerns. They think I am being paranoid. A lot of people in my area are not taking Covid seriously. Minimal mask wearing out in public and people wear masks into my church, but then take them off once inside. ???? Stupid. You mentioned car repairs--- I live in a small town. I called a car repair shop and told them I am high risk and what did they have to offer. They came and picked up my car, took to shop, did repairs (oil change and fixed brakes), and delivered back to me. I sprayed the inside down with Lysol once it got home. Do you have any options like that? If you do venture out, I would suggest low chance things-- in and out with minimal contact with crowds.

I do feel very isolated and it gets to me at times. Lots of reading, watching TV, and this site to keep me "connected". I talk to friends on the phone. I just started a Zoom gaming night with a few other people-- safe inside my own home.

Keep posting here. We are out here and care for you.

Mavericksmom

Viewfinder, first, your age puts you at high risk in addition to any medical issues you might have like hypertension or lung/heart disease. Breast cancer, except for those going through chemo or awaiting surgery, etc, doesn't put you at high risk.

I am 66 and I shop for groceries during the "old people and at risk persons" times which is usually 7-8 AM depending on the store and on certain days. I usually find more people stocking shelves at that time of day, than a lot of other customers. Still, one day, there must have been 6 people in an aisle stocking freezer compartments and I skipped that aisle.

In my area of PA the rates have pretty much slowed the rate of new infections with few due to community spread.

You should first find out all you can about your area, the amount of community spread, the number of available ICU beds (not that you might need one, but that is an indication of how things are in you community), and take things gradually. Wear a mask when you go out! I use disposable gloves too, when I shop even though they say you don't have to. Regardless, have a hand covering, glove or tissue, to open doors, push elevator buttons etc. I also take a sandwich bag with 2-3 chlorox wipes to wipe down shopping cart with. If you don't have them a moistened paper towel with dish soap should be fine. The virus doesn't live on surfaces easily.

When I come home I wipe off refrigerated containers but anything in cans and paper goods or other non food items I just let set in the bags for a few days and then I put the items away.

Staying inside is not harmless. I know I gained 10 pounds being home and I was already obese. I did eat junk food the first week or so, comfort food I know I shouldn't have eaten, but largely the weight gain is due to inactivity. My job kept me on my feet and walking pretty close to 10,000 steps a day, so it was a drastic change when my job closed and we were all working on line. I try to maintain a healthy diet now and I am starting to see the pounds come off, albeit very slowly. That is another reason I started to get out of the house! I try to walk on days that aren't too hot or humid, and I walk down extra aisles of the stores when there aren't any people around. I do a lot of grocery shopping at a warehouse store so it is huge with good ventilation.

Use common sense, maybe just walk around the neighborhood. Wear a mask and stay 6 feet away from others and you should be fine. Getting out will be good for your health, both mental and physical as long as you do it safely.

Also, for anyone who drives, don't forget to run your cars periodically or you will go to use it and find a dead battery. Happened to my husband's car and a neighbor's car. Actually, if you drive, that might be another safe way to get out and lift your spirits! Take a drive around a park or other low traffic, scenic route.

Of course doctors will say to stay inside. It is the best way to protect yourself, but in reality, not the best for your health if long term. I don't see this virus going anyway or being totally under control any time soon!

Best of luck to you! Great topic to start!

windingshores

Viewfinder, I am assuming you live alone. I am in the same situation, living alone, months inside, medical conditions. A lot of people are living with spouse or family, and most have a house. I have a small apartment with one bathroom so entry by anyone is just not safe.

I take walks, but my town is crowded right now with tourists. I took a Zoom art class and Zoom tai chi, and only recently went to a couple of outdoor classes which felt safe.

I do go grocery shopping. Have you considered mask and face shield together? I was sanitizing my groceries and bottoms of shoes, then put clothes in laundry and shower. Not sure how much of that is necessary.

I bought a cover for my car seat (before COVID). It went in for repairs and I put the cover on, then took it off afterward.

I use hydrogen peroxide for sanitizing.

I can really understand how you are feeling. I do think it is safe to go out to stores, and it is kind of empowering.

bcincolorado

My husband is a transplant patient and immune suppressed on meds so we have not been able to see our family since March.

We've only had one in person doctor appointment (with primary) since this happened and it was different as well. They run the practice well anyway so you never had a wait in there but it was set up with chairs far apart in the waiting area and they wait and clean a room after a patient has been in there and no one can go into that room for 4 hours or more afterwards apparently. They are super careful.

My onco app0ointment follow up was on the computer though.

Have a mamo scheduled the end of the month for my non-cancer side so do not know how that will go and a little nervous about it.

To stay in touch with family we either talk on the phone or the kids know how to set up the zoom call calls and a couple of times I've at least been able to "see" my grandkids on the computer if nothing else.

Best wishes in your new home.

Anonymous

Thank you everyone for the very helpful replies and insights.

The county in which I live has a high incidence of coronavirus according to the most recent data. In fact, it has the highest reported cases in the state.

Some things were closed down by the Governor but never a total shutdown. According to my daughter, she barely sees anyone wearing masks around town. Seems many in my southern state do not take this seriously enough.

Weather is very hot in the summer. Though it's quite difficult for me to walk, I do try to take short walks some mornings when it's cooler. I confess, I do not walk enough. I'm thinking of going to the community pool mid-days when it's not crowded. I love to swim but haven't because of the virus.

With rare exceptions, I've given up driving...voluntarily...a few months ago. I have to depend on my daughter for most everything except food delivery. She's been wonderful.

I've never really been a person prone to depression, even when facing some very difficult times. However, I have recently begun fighting mini bouts of depression and I don't like it. I'm hanging in there.

PS I do have high blood pressure. Controlled by medicine.

nopink2019

I live in small town where locals take this thing seriously, not all visitors do. Guess it is greatly influenced by your associates. Masks required in public. I've been to MO every month for treatments and ER twice. Getting out of house, even if sitting in car when someone else shops. Our grocery stores are less crowded after 7pm. I keep hand sanitizer in my pocket, never pass up a chance to squirt some leaving a store. Wipe down door handles when I get back to car. Never touch face until home and washed hands. Play bridge online. Lots of open space, so walk outside in isolation. Pulled out sewing machine and made some masks for friends. Sit outside and distanced for BYO everything with friends. Zoom occassionally. Listen to audio books (concentration for reading is low). Try online restorative yoga class.

This all sounds like I'm superwoman mentally. No, Lexapro helps. I have a loving DH who has been in hosp twice this week for heart probs and I have to buck it up. Prob has helped me "not borrow trouble from the future". Good luck

AliceBastable

Viewfinder, have you tried connecting with local people online? Most towns have Facebook pages for community chats, and if you're in a city, there may be neighborhood associations online. It would be a good way to get to know some local people, and you can ask them questions about where you live so you'll know more about it by the time things are normal again - and you'd have new friends to do things with by then.

jessie123

So glad I'm not alone. I was beginning to think that I may be over cautious. Most of my friends are still going out like nothing is going on. My city has a ton of coronavirus cases and the numbers are still increasing. I've been home since March. I haven't been in any store since then. I live alone with my two dogs so it has been kind of lonely.. However, I talk to lots of friends often on the phone. In a way it's fun doing things around the house that I have neglected. I never feel rushed anymore. The only person I know with covid is my yard guy. He's worked for me for 15 yrs and until March he even came into my house to do cleaning. He is mentally challenged and just a nice as he can be. He is the ONLY person I have been around and the only person I know who has gotten the virus. I just can't believe it . Luckily, since I kept him in the yard, I didn't catch it from him. My biggest concern with myself is that I won't get my Mammogram or MRI this year. Since my cancer was lobular the MRI is important. I did get the blood work done this year. I just can't bring myself to do those two tests. I don't want people that close and I can't understand how they can sterilize the hole your face goes in on the MRI. So that's a stressor on top of the solitude. It would be so much easier If we knew this could be over soon, but that's not going to happen. We're in this for the long term.

Anonymous

AliceBastable,

I'm not a fan of Facebook. I closed my account several years ago. I'll certainly reconsider it though.

Anonymous

jessie,

Don't think I'd put off having a MRI and Mammogram. I had both a few weeks ago and went into the hospital. I think hospitals would do a good job of disinfecting.

I asked my doctor about going out. She wrote:

"Ok to go out into the community for essential chores/activities/appointments. You can use the pool during very low usage times. Be sure to always have your mask on you when unable to socially distance and follow all CDC recommendations to remain safe."

My daughter took me to food store today and to the pharmacy for a Tdap shot. I haven't been to a food store in more than four months. I inadvertently walked down the wrong aisles a few times, forgot to check the markings for which way to go. Never thought there would be a time when I said I was glad to get out and go food shopping.

I do think this pandemic is for the long-term. So we need to take care of our health!

Spookiesmom

Isn’t that the truth!!😂😂

Publix slogan is Where shopping is a pleasure” Not liking how much everything seems to have gone up, but getting out of the house, priceless.

bcincolorado

Our local store here does where you can order online and have delivered to your house (for a $10 fee) or if you want to drive to the store it is free. You park in a spot and call the number and tell them you are there. They bring it out and put in your car. You pre=pay online. No contact.

We have done both.

moth

I wouldn't risk the store because shopping is a drag. Never enjoyed it and prefer to online shop. I have only been out for chemo etc appointments since March. (Dr's advised me and all high risk - over 65, lung or heart prob, immunocompromised to stay home and only do essential trips. Empty outdoor spaces are ok to go to.)

But I will probably eventually do risky things. I'd like to travel more and my time is running out so if I'm physically up to it, I'll probably end up doing it before covid is controlled.

But if I'm going to risk something that will kill me or will make me sick for 2 weeks in my already shortened life, then it has to be something really worth it to me. The mall and errands aren't, kwim?

But it might be those things give you a sense of normality that brings you joy in which case, make your risk calculation cause only you can decide if it's worth it.

MarilynIllinois

Hello Viewfinder,

Early on I wrote old-fashioned snail mail letters to several of my Christmas card friends from various states. I included my email and phone numbers. They all replied and we had the nicest chats! It was fun to catch up.

Have you been to the library in your town? After months of being closed, my library opened up for curbside checkout, followed later by appointment only browsing, now "open" with mask required. Maybe your library will have online programming. My book club is going to start again via zoom.

My yoga studio offered online classes through Facebook and has just resumed some classes in the park. It's quite nice being outdoors weather permitting.

I haven't had lunch out with my lunch pals since February! I do miss it, but going out to a restaurant just isn't appealing.

I went to my 6 months dentist appointment a couple of months later. I felt safe with all the precautions they had taken in the office.

Best wishes to you, Marilyn

Georgia1

Hi Viewfinder and so nice to reconnect with you. I still go for walks, mostly between 9 and 10 a.m., which seems most quiet in my neighborhood. I do enjoy getting in the car to pick up takeout food, and mostly do that at places where someone comes to the car and puts the food in the back seat. As we learn more about the virus I feel safer. Outside is better than inside, and a six-foot distance from anyone not wearing a mask is important. But we humans are sociable animals, so sitting at a pool, six feet away from kids but getting to watch them play, might be just what you need and your doctor seems reasonable. I'm so sorry this hit just after you moved! Maybe there is a community center or university nearby that offers online classes? That way you would at least see and talk virtually to your new neighbors.

Wishing you and your sister all the best.

flashlight

Hi viewfinder, I am 69 and mostly stayed in until the end of May. I thought I had forgotten how to drive when I went to see my MO! I missed seeing my family and just existing. As of today I have gone to see my primary doctor, been to therapy for lymphedema, had lab work, seen the dentist twice, and visited with my daughters. I also painted my daughter's bathrooms and made a couple of visits to Costco for food. I always wear my mask when I'm out and I do not to touch my face until my hands are washed. Our church is now open with a limited number that can attend each service. I look forward to going in the early hours. My mammogram is on the 20th and I am not going to miss that or have the unknown hanging over my head. Good luck to you! and I hope you make it to the pool!!

Anonymous

It's been helpful to get so much input!

Georgia, nice to reconnect with you too!. My sister is doing fine. She runs two shows a year for a marketing association in the Pacific NW. Brings buyers and sellers together. A lot of the attendees are small businesses and some of them have been badly hurt by the coronavirus and associated closings. They've adapted the show to meet the challenges of the virus, so hope all goes well. I do the social media work for the association and it's been interesting (and inspiring) to see how creative some businesses have become.

flashlight, I still don't venture out much and when I do, it's usually to see a doctor (UGH). When I moved, I felt I had to establish with new doctors and, ya know, they can really have you run around. I've had to reschedule many because of the virus.

Unfortunately, except to visit my daughter close by, I voluntarily gave up driving. I just don't feel comfortable doing so any more...and it's tough after being so active my entire life.

I so hope to start going to the pool next week.

I wish everyone luck, too.