So much information

Kay0923

I was just diagnosed two days ago and am still waiting for receptor labs but at this time have Stage II ductal carcinoma at age 44. My sister passed away of breast cancer and my mom had it after menopause and is still living. I felt I would be prepared as I knew the family history was high, but needless to say am in shock of the diagnosis. I have so many appointments next week and I'm hoping to feel better prepared after them. Right now I feel like I'm in a fog and just needed some support of women going through this at the same time. What is helping you most through all of this? I do have wonderful family and friends but I guess since I'm the one diagnosed I feel alone. Anyways, I'm new to the forum and I'm hoping to find people to connect with.

Smichaels11

Hi there, I'm sorry you have to be here. I am also new to this. You will be going through a whirlwind of emotions, tests, scans, appointments, etc. But very soon your team will have a plan in place for you. Once you start treatment, whatever that may be, you will feel better knowing you are doing something about it. And you will feel a weight come off as you focus less on what ifs and more on getting better.

This forum has been a godsend for me. I have asked every ridiculous question I could think of, vented, cried, and these wonderful women (and some men) have been nothing but supportive. There is a vast pool of knowledge here from women just like us.

A word of advise is to stick with threads that pertain to you and your situation. I made the mistake of looking at stage 4, palliative care, etc, and scared the loving bejesus out of myself for no reason. Once you have your specific diagnosis, join a thread with women going through it with you ( such as chemo, radiation, surgery, etc by month).

Do not google. There is nothing that Google will tell you about your specific situation. Keep you mind occupied with positive thoughts. Thinking of you ❤

Spookiesmom

Have someone go to the appointments with you if possible. The extra set of ears is extremely helpful. Or ask dr if you can record on your phone.

Dr google is NOT your friend.

Kay0923

Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement. Every little bit of informatiin from people going through something similar helps me tremendously. Thinking and praying for all of you too.

abigailj

Kay0923, I do recommend getting a second opinion with respect to whatever treatment plan is presented to you and make sure you are comfortable with and confident in your doctors. Also completely agree with the advice of Spookiesmom and Smichaels11 re: having another pair of ears and that each person’s medical situation is unique. Where I found google helpful is learning more.about the available specialists locally for my situation including other women’s reviews of theses doctors and once my diagnosis was made and confirmed I used this forum and others as well and also read scientific papers to better understand the pros and cons of my surgical and non-surgical treatment options. Once you have all available info and understanding of your unique situation then you can choose the treatment that makes sense to you - it is a totally individual and deeply personal choice of course. Wishing you the smoothest path to recovery!

Beesie

Kay, I will offer a bit of a variation on the suggestion that you get a second opinion. Sometimes getting a second opinion is important and helpful, and other times it's not necessary.

If you are comfortable with your doctors, if they listen to you and answer any questions you have, if they offer up options of treatment and explain to your satisfaction why they are recommending a particular treatment plan... if you are happy with them and don't feel the need to get a second opinion, then a second opinion isn't necessary. But if you feel uncomfortable in any way, perhaps that you are not being given options, or the treatment recommendation has not been explained, or you can't get your questions answered, or you just want verification that the recommended treatment plan is the right way to go - then definitely go for a second opinion. Some people do, some people don't. And sometimes people get a second opinion for one doctor (let's say, the surgeon) but not another (let's say the Medical Oncologist), because they connect and feel good about the relationship with one of the doctors but not with the other.

One benefit of being on this site is that once you have more information about your diagnosis, people here will be able to share with you the treatment options for that type of diagnosis. They will help you with questions to ask your team. They will point out if something seems off about what's being recommended or said to you. There are also resources available on-line, such as the NCCN Treatment Guidelines, which can provide very detailed and specific information about treatment options. All this information will help you decide if you would benefit from a second opinion or not.

Don't feel the pressure to get a second opinion if you are happy with your team. And don't hesitate to get a second opinion if you are not fully comfortable.

Make sure you get a copy of your pathology report from your biopsy. You have a right to get copies of everything and it's important to have these reports to help with your understanding of the diagnosis (it's easy to miss something during the discussion with your doctors) and for your records.

What appointments do you have lined up for this coming week?

MinusTwo

Good answer Beesie. I got a 2nd opinion on the PS, but I clicked right away with the BS and wild horses could not have pulled me away from my oncologist. He was my rock. I actually got a 2nd opinion on the RO when it came time for that, but only because I was looking for a shorter drive than the main medical center since the trip was every day

Kay0923

Thank you for all the input. On Tuesday I see the surgeon, the genetics counselor, and the radition team. And then on Wednesday I see the Oncologist. I have come to the decision I want to be very aggressive with treatment and have a double mastectomy, due to my families history of breast cancer and other cancers as well as my age. I'm hopeful the surgeon will agree.

MinusTwo

Kay - it is YOUR decision if you want to have a bilateral mastectomy instead of a unilateral. If your surgeon doesn't agree, you should seek a second opinion. Even if you choose this route only for symmetry, it's your call.

After my BMX, I was so happy with my decision because my "good" breast had lots of problems that weren't seen before the surgery.