Terrible psychiatric symptoms related to tamoxifen

Cenote17

[This is a cross-post from the hormonal-therapy topic; sorry, I wasn't sure which place was most appropriate]

Basic stats: Breast cancer left side staged at 1A

Mutation in ATM gene

Lumpectomy, with clean margins, in January 2020

Forewent radiation therapy based on preventative mastectomy scheduled for June 2020

Mastectomy delayed till who-knows-when due to Covid shutting down all non-emergency surgery

Began tamoxifen February 2020

Other medications: Lexapro

Tamoxifen has proved a living nightmare for me. I'm usually an even-keeled person, but now I'm constantly enraged and irritable, to the point where I'm punching myself, breaking things in the house, yelling at colleagues, and threatening my husband with divorce. I literally feel allergic to the world, if that makes sense. Everything makes me mad: forks out of line in the drawer, not able to find the shirt I want in a closet, etc.

I feel like I've gone from a normal person to a completely insane one. My oncologist is useless: try yoga! try acupuncture! she chirps. (As if I could find an acupuncturist in this situation.) She offers no alternatives and just tells me aromatase inhibitors would be even worse. My therapist is nice but doesn't really have any suggestions.

I'm only 51 and I'm supposed to be on this dreadful poison for 10 years. If I go off it, given the genetic defect and the fact that I can't have a mastectomy and it's too late for radiation: yay, I die. But I feel like I'm going to die anyway if I have to stay on this stuff.

Tell me stories of high-risk people who went off tamoxifen? What happened to you/them?

Beesie

Here is a link to your other post, which now includes my response: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/78/topics...

It would be better to stick with one thread. Otherwise those who respond to one of the threads won't have the benefit of seeing other responses already given. They might spend their time providing information that's already been given, and it's more helpful to you when those who respond can add to and comment on the input from others.