So many unknowns, extreme anxiety

HelloItsMe789

I was diagnosed with PLCIS a few weeks ago, from a biopsy, from suspicious calcifications in my most recent mammogram (I also get ultrasounds, which saw nothing)

I was able to get a surgical consult quickly. She assured me this would be an easy surgery and I'd probably have to be on hormone blockers, but not to worry. We scheduled the surgery for the end of the month.

I went in last week for the locating device. This is a different health group than my original mammogram place. They had reviewed my films and said they saw a couple different areas that concerned them, and asked if I minded 2 more biopsies. I thought I'd be stupid to say no, and turns out I would have been: they found ILC in both of the new biopsy samples.

I'd had an MRI scheduled for last Friday and they suggested I reschedule it as they felt I'd be too uncomfortable to lie through it (I think they were right, I am still sore). But the soonest they could get me in was this Friday. I had in my head for nearly 2 weeks that I'd feel better once I got through the MRI and now that's been pushed off and I've gotten a cancer dx in the meantime.

I feel like the world has dropped out from under me.

The past two days I've woken up and I feel great - for 5 seconds and then I remember.

I am shattered by the fact that the place that's been doing my mammograms for years *missed the actual cancer*!! The second place found it using the first places films!

I spent Monday night with the runs, yesterday I wasn't bad. Today I've spent crying for the most part. My stomach hurts. I am terrified the MRI will find even more. I am terrified the biopsy spread it through me. I think I've managed 4 billable hours in 3 days, and I agreed to go offsite tomorrow. I really regret that now, but I thought I'd be ok.

I have a consult with the same surgeon Tuesday. I just want to know what's going on so I can make a plan and move forward with my life!