Starting Tamoxifen Soon - Odd Observation?

Kim43

At 43 with a lumpectomy and radiation things look are looking good, but my Oncologist wants me to start Tamoxifen soon. At first i was ok with it then I started reading about it and talking to other people and am kind of freaking out. My husband may be even more worried due to the mood swings and concerns about total loss of intimacy. He even read where it blocks some of the bonding hormones that pair couples. My Oncologist says she has many women on Tamoxifen that are not having any issues.

My husband started looking more for those in both we had talked and those online and in is own non scientific study he thinks the most the women with few or minor issues are not married/single most with no kids. Almost every happy tamoxifien person we talked to personally was woman that never had kids. Is that just our world or have others see that pregnancy hormones and/or other marriage things make the Tamoxifen side effect wose?

I know this is odd but he almost has me believing him.

Starting freak out for myself, husband and the kids.... I don't want the Tamoxifen rage to cause issues... the kids especially won't understand.

Kim

Spookiesmom

Listen to your MO, not dr Google. Try it. If the se are truaffecting you, you can stop or change meds.

exbrnxgrl

Anecdotes are interesting, but the plural of anecdote is not data. I certainly think that casual observations on Tamoxifen's effects/side effects based on marital status or whether one has born children or not is quite unfounded without data to back it up. Ultimately it’s your choice with respect to any aspect of your treatment but consider basing your decision on facts not anecdotes. As spookiesmom noted, you can start a treatment and if the se’s are intolerable you can stop.

Cpeachymom

Kim-

I am 41, been on Tamoxifen for over 2 years. Happily married, intimacy is good, but I made it a priority from the beginning, and I have 4 kids. The two youngest are 3 and 1. I’m much more scared of not being here for them than I am of mood swings. Is it always easy, sunshine and rainbows? No. It's not a nightmare either. Once you adjust to the stupid, endless, hot flashes, it's manageable.

Good luck!

AliceBastable

WTF is a bonding hormone? That sounds like the craziest anti-medical woo I've ever heard.

gb2115

Honestly, at the end of the day, tamoxifen is a cancer medication. It keeps you from having your cancer come back. It's going to have side effects, as all medications do. I don't know about you, but to me, having been through it, decreased risk of metastasis trumps side effects, including mood swings and intimacy issues. There's no way to know what side effects you may or may not get, and you can always stop the medication. I have been on tamoxifen for 3 years. I don't have rage from it and I don't have interpersonal problems with my kid or husband.

I would take a close look at survival statistics with and without hormone therapy and factor that into your decision. Also keep in mind that what you read on the internet is likely a skewed sample. People who are doing fantastic on a med are less likely to talk about it on the internet.

santabarbarian

probably oxytocin is the 'bonding hormone'

Miriandra

Alice, the "bonding hormone" is oxytocin. It's a hormone we naturally produce when we are with someone we love. It reinforces bonding between couples and parents-children, and plays a role in childbirth and nursing. Babies produce loads of it from their skulls, which is why some people like to "huff" babies.

There have been a few studies checking oxytocin uptake while using tamoxifen. From what I could see on a quick search, tamoxifen doesn't seem to have a significant influence on oxytocin levels. So on that point, at least, your intimacy should be fine. Best of luck!

T-Dahl

Kim- I feel your worry. I just started taking Tamoxifen 2 days ago. I vacillate between freaking out over all of the side effects to understanding that this is to ensure my cancer does not return. I completely feel your whirlwind of emotions regarding taking this. What has worked for me is....

Once I made the decision to take it as prescribed, I ONLY focus on what this little pill is going to do to help me. I don’t focus or worry about the side effects. I am 49 years old & have never had to take anything or have had any medical issues prior to being diagnosed with breast cancer & ultimately having a bilateral mastectomy. This is a new territory for me that I never imagined starting in my 40s. Find the positive in what the tamoxifen can do & stay focused through the rough days. I’ve decided this is my new normal & my kids & husband are going to have to adjust to it as well. I truly believe that everything is going to be okay. But you need to find that inner peace with it too. It’s the only way to have a positive journey 💖✌🏽