Need support and some hope, drowning in anxiety

marinochka

I just joined because i don't know how to cope at the moment. It is just the beginning ...

May be someone can give me hope and tell me that they have similar situation and it ended up ok.

I had and abnormal mammo...calcification in right breast. Biopsy and they said it is : dcis but they want to do another biopsy of a different calcification spot. At that point i moved all my files and images and pathology report to specialized breast cancer center in our city. Today i had a first appointment there with the surgeon. He said that he also wants biopsy to be done from another spot.

But also he said i had calcification in right breast. I knew i did, i got them biopsied in 2013, they were benign. I had mammo a few times in 6 months(it was under observation), after that i was moved to 1 per year mammo.

I today was so unprepared that i will have left breast also biopsied. I feel now that i have cancer all over, both breasts and a few places. I will have bilateral biopsy next week, and have to see this surgeon in 2 weeks to get final results and decision about surgery.

He said that it could be benign left breast and another spot in right breast...but could be not...they have to check.

Please tell me how to think about all of this...because i am a wrack.

thank you

bcincolorado

I'm sorry you are going through this right now.

Did you have the digital mamo done? I know they are more sensitive for people with dense tissues. If not you may want to see if you can get one since you already had calcifications identified.

It is better to find out and treat sooner than later if it is cancerous so you can get into treatment.

Best of luck to you.

thisiknow

marinochka ... If they had to find something worrisome in my breast, I'd like it to be just DCIS, so take a look at this article, "Treatment for DCIS," which may just lessen your anxiety....

https://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/RecommendedTreatmentsforDuctalCarcinomaInSitu.html

One important thing it says is... "Left untreated, it's estimated 40-50 percent of DCIS cases may progress to invasive breast cancer." Your doctor should be able to give you all your treatment options after your biopsy results are back.

Sounds like you have a plan of action already, which is great! And you've got lots of support and information here, so breathe easy and do come back and let us know how things are going. ((Hugs 'cause you need them now )

Moderators

Hi Marinochka-

We want to welcome you to our community! We're so sorry you find yourself here, and we know that this is certainly a worrisome and trying time. As bcincolorado said, it's definitely better to find out sooner rather than later, and it's good that your team of doctors is on top of things. Please keep us posted on what you find out, and we are sending you lots of positive thoughts for your upcoming biopsy!

The Mods

AliceBastable

Please try to schedule some fun things between appointments, tests, and procedures! It will really help to keep your mind from going to pointless places. Go to a concert, a park, a zoo, or have lunch or dinner with friends, or take day trips if the weather cooperates.

marinochka

thank you. can not think of any fun things right now. I did not sleep at all, and just don't want to get up...but i know it is not a good idea, i have to make myself ...and keep going. at the moment don't know how.

Meow13

I took lorazepam to get through the rough spots it helped me sleep. After my mastectomy and after I started AI drugs, about 2 months, I didn't need it anymore. It helped and talking things through with fellow BC survivors helped too.

Walking outside also helped with the dizziness I experienced from anxiety.

marinochka

I started taking lexapro 10 mg per day, but this is only for a few days ...did not accumulate yet in my body.

also i think i need for now something more, to work with anxiety

and yes, talk to you, guys...helps. it is scary to be alone, and who would understand but you, who have been there...and going thru the same things. I just feel that i am much weaker that all of you.

Meow13

The main reason I post here is that horrible feeling I had you know the gloom and doom. I would talk to others that were 5 to 10 years down the line and say wow they are ok maybe I will be too.

Chances are really good you will not see it again with treatment. But the fear of the unknown is overwhelming and hard to put aside. After about 2 to 3 months from my diagnosis I woke one day and my mind decided to put the cancer on the back burner. I stopped thinking about it all the time. Relief to some extent.

We have been where you are now and it gets better.

marinochka

thank you Meow13...yes, i hope it will come ...but i have a long road to go. Today i am so grateful to get support here, i don't know what would i do otherwise.

MinusTwo

Alice is absolutely right. Waiting is the hardest part. Glad you've gotten some anti-anxiety meds from your doc. Not figure out what you can do to keep your blood pressure down. Lose yourself in mindless TV, take LONG walks at a brisk pace, jump into a good book, go shopping if that rings your chimes.

marinochka

thank you MinusTwo. I am a little better today, and now have to wait and try to think positively ...not expect the worst.

kksmom3

I felt exactly like you did 15 months ago. All you can do is move thru the pain and anxiety. One good thing tho, if it is only DCIS, that's a better outcome. If it has moved past that, then you will still be taking care of it. You will STILL have a GOOD outcome! Sounds like you caught it early! I know how much this sucks! Do you have a real life friend/partner you can cry with? We understand! Praying you have the best possible outcome! Please let us know what you find out!

marinochka

thank you kksmom3 for understanding and kind words.

i am a little better today, hoping that other biopsies would not show something much-much worse.

i am not a big optimist in life, i guess it is time to become one now :)i have a few friends who i can share ...but i always find that people who went thru similar experience would understand better than anyone.

i have one girlfriend who lives in a different country but we communicate on line, she went thru similar experience since march 2019. now her treatment is over...she is taking a brake before check up in january.

kksmom3

Two weeks to get results seems like an awfully long time. Moving your files to the breast cancer specialty place was a good idea! Did you find out any details about the DCIS, grade, hormone receptors?

marinochka

i did not find out grade, but it says that positive for estrogen and progesterone receptor

i was going to ask doctor in more details, but he sent me for 2 more biopsies. so i will be asking all those questions after all results are back about all of it, and yes, it is in 2 weeks.

kksmom3

Being positive for the ER/PR receptors is considered good. It means that it will respond to either tamoxifen if you are pre-menopausal, or an aromatase inhibitor, (AI) if you are post menopausal. Generally speaking, of course. Do you have an online medical sight where you can see test results ? It would be thru your hospital. Sometimes, you can see results faster on there.

I know the biopsies are awful, but at least this will all get taken care of at once. They should send you for bilateral MRI also. I'm sure they will investigate that also in time.

Meow13

That is what I was thinking too did they do an MRI.

marinochka

Yes, this hospital where i moved to, has a site.

I am not afraid of biopsies anymore(of the process i mean) i am much more afraid of results of those.

The one which i had -i was expecting much worse pain ...but it was not too bad.

marinochka

No, doctor did not say anything about MRI. I will ask when i go there for biopsies result and surgery/plan.

kksmom3

And by biopsies being awful, I did mean the emotional pain. I would see if they can get you your test results sooner. Praying for you, if that's ok.

marinochka

Yes, kksmom3, emotional state...trying to hope for the best.

Yes, it is ok, i am grateful.

marinochka

So today i called and they only so far have appt. for biopsies for me for 10/25. Doctor ordered to make it this week, but they did not find the slot yet...if they find it they will call me. But i am planning to call every day to remind and question them.

Oh...