Bad experience at mammogram. You were all wrong.

Giraffeattack

Just got home from mammogram and it was literally the most inexplicably bad experience in my life.

First, i had to put on the gown, then a nirse comes in and feels my boob and says it feels like normal breast tissue, just thicker. "But, i guess we'll do the mammogram anyways."

Then she leaves the room and i can hear her and a woman who i later learn is my mammographer talking about me like my boob is normal why am i here and one of them made a comment about me being on medicaid. I am not on medicaid.

Then i get the mammogram. She did 3 images of right boob, 2 images of left boob and said the doctor would look at them. Then she said the doctor wanted an ultra sound. So i did that. She said wait and he will look at the ultrasound.

I waited then the doctor and the nurse from the beginning who said my boob felt normal came in. The doctor said my right boob is abnormal compared to my left. He said something about the "nipple complex" being abnormal compared to the right, but said he doesn't know why. Then he said that he would recommend i see a breast surgeon to see if a biopsy is necessary, but in the same breath said to wait 6 months and see if it changes.

Then the nurse asked me if something else was going on, like something at home. Suggesting, appropos of nothing, that i am in a domestic violence situation, i guess. I said no and i just want to go home. She asked if i wanted her to schedule the follow up and i said no.

Never been to the doctor before this. Never. Ever. Going back to the doctor again.

Mavericksmom

I am so sorry you had that experience! It was neither professional nor correct and you should NOT have had to go through that! They didn't treat you with the respect you deserve.

Is it even possible for you to see a breast surgeon if you change your mind? People on these boards are from all over the world. If you ask for recommendations for a breast surgeon in a general area, large town or city, etc, there is a good chance someone can recommend a doctor who WILL treat you with compassion and respect! Please don't judge all doctors from that experience!

It is most likely not cancer, but unless you follow up with a breast surgeon, you won't know. I am never comfortable with a six month wait!

Please post again to tell us how you are doing! You have every right to feel angry! I would be livid too

mightlybird01

Giraffeattack, take a deep breath and relax. Don't take these statements so personal. You did well getting the exam done, you do this for you and not for anyone else. Asking about domestic violence is pretty standard nowadays, my Dr. ask this every visit. I don't take offense in this and I am a 50 year old woman with a PhD on prime health care. Take from the Dr. what is good for you and leave the rest behind.

Now, reset your inner self, and think carefully about your next moves. I think you SHOULD see a breast surgeon, and discuss the findings with him/her. Then you can decide if you want to wait 6 months or do some follow-up now. Just try and not take every word they say as a personal attack. They are also just people, sometimes find the right tone and sometimes not. You can vent here with us, but don't let this distract you from getting the care you need and want.

Giraffeattack

i am not going back. They basically made me feel stupid and like its all in my head so i am not going to waste my time seeing any other doctors just to feel stupid again.

wrenn

It sounds (from your post on the other thread you started) that you expected it to go wrong so that might have influenced your experience. What went on seems like a routine mammogram. What you have been reading here suggesting "you were all wrong" seems to indicate that you are not going to be happy if you do see a breast surgeon.

I agree with others that you should follow up but your health is your choice and you don't have to follow up or see doctors in the future.

i hope you can settle from this and can be at peace with your decision.

Beesie

Giraffeattack,

The first nurse said things that made you feel stupid for being there - and that was very wrong of her - but in the end it turns out that you were right to be there.

You would not have been immediately sent for the ultrasound after the mammogram if there was not something concerning on the mammogram. And the Radiologist would not recommend that you see a breast surgeon, or have a follow-up in 6 months (vs. "come back when you are 40"), if there was not something that needs to be checked out further.

So you were absolutely right to go for the mammogram, and the nurse is the one who in the end looked stupid for questioning you about it.

I don't know why the nurse asked questions about your situation at home, but maybe if you were upset at how she was treating you, you might have been acting cautiously with her or seemed to be holding back. That would be a normal reaction to her rudeness, but she might have thought that there was something else going on that was making you nervous or making you act that way. As a medical professional (although she was hardly acting professionally), it's her obligation to ask.

It is good that you had the mammogram. With the suggestion that you see a breast specialist or follow-up in 6 months, it sounds as though the Radiologist is rating your imaging as a BIRADs 3. BIRADs is a standardized rating system for breast imaging. A BIRADs 3 means that something was seen on the imaging that needs more investigation, but the risk of cancer is less than 2%. With a BIRADs 3, usually a repeat of the mammogram and ultrasound is done in 6 months to check for stability or if there are any changes, but some patients choose to get a second opinion with a breast specialist and then have a biopsy. The Radiologist presented both options to you.

I think it would be wise to see the breast surgeon, to get a second opinion. The breast surgeon wouldn't think that you shouldn't be there, since it was the Radiologist who recommended you go.

Moderators

Giraffeattack,

Welcome to Breastcancer.org. We're sorry you find yourself here, but we're glad you've found us.

We echo the sentiments shared here -- please do not let one bad experience dictate what happens with your health. You have a gut feeling that something is not right and you have done the right thing by having it investigated; it's unfortunate that this is the experience you've encountered. We can guarantee this is NOT the norm in the medical field and that there ARE doctors out there that will take your concerns into serious account and want to get to the bottom of things just as badly as you do. Please know your health is a priority and you should absolutely advocate for it.

Please continue to keep us posted. We're all here to support you!

--The Mods

flashlight

Giraffeattack, They have to ask everyone today if they feel comfortable at home, that you feel safe. They even asked my son-in-law as he waited for surgery. I was asked as well when I went for my mammogram. Don't let a rude xray tech prevent you from making sure you don't have breast cancer. There must be another hospital with a breast center near you. Where you could go see a breast surgeon and find out what you need to do. You are only hurting yourself.

Meow13

At my mammograms they never ask if I feel safe at home. I think you are totally entitled to go to doctors and imaging facilities that treat you with respect.

TB90

Giraffeattack: You have every right to feel upset. Your personal life is not an issue during a mammogram unless your breasts were bruised. I was not there to observe, so have no idea whether your behaviour led to the inquiry. Questions need to reflect and respond to the presentation. No one has the right to inquire about unrelated events unless there is a connection. Or why not ask about poverty, addictions and suicide ideation too. Where are the personal boundaries. When clients see me for mental health issues, I only ask what is relevant or else it becomes invasive. Questionnaires are impersonal and unprofessional unless it is a census taker. Otherwise personal questions need to be relevant to the situation. If the person is not qualified, then they need to stick to their expertise. But do not stop advocating for yourself and ensuring your health issues are addressed. Allowing others to intimidate us from meeting our needs is supporting poor practices. Fight back and speak up

Cowgirl13

Giraffeattack, what a horrible experience but please do consider seeing a breast surgeon. So sorry this happened to you.

thisiknow

Yes, Giraffeattack, dońt be stupid... go see a breast surgeon.

WC3

Giraffeattack:

I'm sorry the exam did not go how you had hoped but as Beesie said, you were right. There is an abnormality.

Also, you went and made it through the exam, and that is a big step for someone with social anxiety and I think that is something to try to be proud of.

It's possible the discussion you heard was just a briefing rather than them doubting you, but if they did doubt you, they are the ones who should, and probably do, feel embarrassed.

Please don't let your experience stop you from seeking further medical treatment.

MamaAvery

How weird they would make a comment about Medicaid. Usually, it is harder to get authorization with Medicaid than private insurance. I had a hard time with my Tricare since it is also government insurance. Everything has to be just so for them to authorize it.

For what it’s worth, they always ask me if I’m safe at home. even just calling me to set up surgery. It is one of my local breast clinic and hospitals’ policies to do so.

In the end, you were right about your breast and that matters the most. Do you have someone you talk to about your anxiety? Maybe they could help you prepare for any upcoming treatments you’d need.

HopeWins

giraffeattack (would love to hear the story behind that name!) You're getting some good advice here. My daughter has social anxiety, but I'm not a medical professional. I'm just coming from a place of experience in guiding her and wanting you to be at peace.

When you push away the feelings you have about the medical technicians, what do you want? Where do you want to be? I suspect you want to hear that you're healthy, or that you have x, y, z and have a treatment plan. It's not a rush. Give yourself a week or so to move past that experience and then think about your options. Like others have said, you're being referred to a breast surgeon. They won't treat you like you're overreacting. If you choose to to go to the breast surgeon he/she might recommend an MRI or they might recommend a needle type biopsy. They may also recommend you do wait the 6 months and follow up with another scan. I hope you know you can talk to them about your anxiety. They may be able to help by prescribing something to calm you before an appointment.

When you take away the anxiety and fear, dealing with medical issues is just a set of if/then options. Map it out in your head. Ask for help if you need it. I think most hospitals have social workers you could call to ask for help in navigating this situation. There are people who want to help. Best of luck to you.

HappyAnyway

Hello Giraffeattack.

My teenage daughter has social anxiety and saw a therapist for a couple of years. It helped her tremendously.

I'm sorry about your anxiety. It's alright to share that with your health care professionals. There are many compassionate people that will help to put you at ease.

In my opinion, the nurse that said your breast tissue felt normal, just thicker, but guessed that they would do the mammogram anyway, should have kept her comment to herself. You have the right to talk to the business manager and inform them of your discontent. If you don't want to have a face to face or speak to them on the phone, you may compose an email. Perhaps the nurse behaved out of character, which we all do on occasion. Maybe it's habitual. The higher ups need to know.

My sister was told that she could follow up on her suspicious mammogram findings immediately, or wait six months for an MRI. She chose to wait. Her MRI is scheduled this week. She has to reschedule. Not ideal.

I would personally see the surgeon and have the biopsy if needed. That will either ease your mind or provide you with the details necessary to begin a treatment plan.

My PCP asks me at my appointments about home life, too. I have been asked a few times during the last several months by other providers, too, the last being at my pre-op appointment. I believe it's becoming standard. I don't feel offended. Hopefully it helps someone in an abusive situation.

Take care of yourself. You have to. You are your best advocate.

SUPer52

I echo the sentiments here. I am so sorry that the experience was so unpleasant for you, but it was an important step to take for your health. I just want to chime in that I am another one whose doctors always ask "do you feel safe at home?" My regular doctors at home never asked that, but my out of town, university-affiliated hospital doctors all do, at every appointment. Even at my appointment for genetic testing I was asked that. The first time, it did catch me off guard because I had never been asked that before, but now I am used to it and consider it just another routine question.

I cannot stand going for my annual pap smear. As I have gotten older and further along into an early menopause, it has become more uncomfortable, and this last one, after being on an aromatase inhibitor for 6 months, was downright painful. I have never been comfortable with the experience, and now it also hurts, but I will continue to go because it is an important part of my health screening.

I hope that you are able to see a surgeon and that you recognize you will be doing something for you. Seeing a surgeon won't automatically mean biopsy and surgery; it could just mean more careful monitoring. After the appointment, treat yourself to something special to give yourself something to look forward to after the appointment. And don't be afraid to let them know at the beginning of your appointment that you are nervous and have had a previous unpleasant experience.

On another note- I have found some of the imaging technicians at my ob-gyn's office to be rude and condescending. However, every single nurse and technician who has touched me or talked to me at my breast surgeon's office is beyond compassionate and caring.

Hoping this can give you a little encouragement.

Best wishes to you!

DebAL

Do you feel safe at home has become a standard safety question. Its often the only time that a victim of domestic violence can come forward in a safe setting. The question is often asked when the patient is alone in case the abuser is present. Several years ago a patient answered yes and the process started to get her to a safe environment. It wasn't meant to offend you

There are resources out there for you. You don't need to go through this alone. Please take care

bcincolorado

I am sorry you had to go through this. If you can go to somewhere that specializes in just women and mamograms that may give you a better experience as well. We have some where I live that do them that also do other types of scans as well in that office so they are not as trained or compassionate I do believe. I do know though the questions of "do you feel safe at home" are standard. They ask my husband as well when he has to go into an appointment or the hospital. There may even be multiple people at the hospital asking him even. Try not to take that part personally. They often want to ask the question when the patient can answer without the other person around.

Best of luck to you.

djmammo

Giraffeattack

PM me the name of the facility.

TB90

I have learnt something today. I had no idea that was standard practice in the states. So Giraffeattack, I change my response. It was not offensive or an assumption made on behalf of the technician to ask about your personal safety. This is not a practice in my province and I have worked in this field for 38 years. But due to the specific needs of the community I work in, it is very standard for me to ask about suicide. In 11 years, only one person appeared upset by the question. And I was then able to address her emotional reaction effectively. Screening is effective, but the staff also need to be trained then in sensitivity and follow up. Not just blurt out the question and then check it off their “to do” list. I was initially offended for you. When we are not aware of the practice and then it is perhaps handled poorly, it feels offensive. And the screening back fires. It screens us away from the exact services we need. I am so sorry I reinforced your experience without complete knowledge of your community standards. Glad others educated us both. So please go right back and get your answers. I so wish we could train the receptionists, technicians, etc on how to be sensitive and address the anxiety so many patients experience

djmammo

I personally have also been asked if "I felt safe at home" when seeking medical care, its mandatory in some states. Calculating the patient's BMI and informing the patient has become a thing in some areas. There are those that would have all medical offices ask if there is a gun in the home, but particularly pediatric offices.

My kids were competitive figure skaters in their youth and were always covered in bruises in various states of healing so on those occasions when they had to go to an ER for a more serious injury I would be separated from them and we'd all be interrogated by 3 or 4 staff people. Its their job.

Meow13

Part of the problem might be the large populations and the sheer volume of people seen. I remember being asked maybe 3 times about "Do I smoke? " And I think to myself can't you smell it if I did and do you think my answer will change?

I get desensitized after a while but it is irritating. The mammogram centers where I am are not all the same some focus more on patient comfort than others. Worth trying another center.

gb2115

I don't think it was wrong for you to go to the doctor. I'm sorry you had a bad experience but definitely don't let that stop you from seeking medical care again. I think that would be a mistake.

Spookiesmom

I’ve been handed a printed sheet on several occasions asking safety questions. Covered everything from tub safety, throw rugs, to possible abuse. It’s common around here, but agree the techs were insensitive.

exbrnxgrl

I echo what many have said. Asking about if you feel safe is becoming standard in some states, so nothing unusual or personal,was intended. I was in the ER several months ago and they asked my dd to step out of the room just to ask that question Again, nothing personal intended. Good on you for going! Not the most fun process for anyone but we all find a way to cope. I hope for the best for you

MinusTwo

Wonder if Giraffe is going to come back? She only posted three times in one day and then dropped out.

TB90

Great Point Minus Two. We lose our original purpose and go off on related topics. Do we sometimes intimidate others? Especially newbies. Perhaps we need to be more sensitive to the needs of the OP.