Emotional crisis

LoveLau

I am having problem getting back to my life. I had one person business and was on various committees. Tgen 3 yrs ago bc entered my life. I have been seeing psyc and hiding in my house. I dont want to spend the rest of my life like this. How have you moved forward. I am 70. Family lives away. Living with husband. Want to feel ok again. What did you do if you were like me with anxiety andvdepression. The coach said replace that with I am peaceful, calm and relaxed.

wallan

Hugs to you. Apparently what you are dealing with is common. My oncology Social worker told me getting BC is like being hit by a truck. Its very traumatizing. Emotional aftermath can be brutal.

I had BC 15 years ago and it took me 5 years or so before I felt better. When I get BC again, 2 1/2 years ago, (a new cancer on the other side), I fell into panic attacks and depression which I am still suffering from. I am where you are at actually. I lost my job because of it. BC takes its toll. I was told to just ask myself "what do I need right now?' and do that... over and over and to be compassionate with myself. Eventually, I will move forward again. And you will too.

Hugs

wallan

Cowgirl13

Hi LoveLau, the first thing I would do is to be checked out for depression. Is your psychiatrist prescribing you any medications? I am 73 and 10 years out from BC. I hear what you are saying. For me, spending time with horses is what brings me out of myself and gives me hope. Exercise really helps when I do it. Have you tried exercise? Just walking 30 minutes a day can really help.

LoveLau

what do you mean by what di I need right now?

Did you take meds, if so which ones. Thank you

Bless you

beeve

Dear LoveLau,

I am six years clean, and my cancer was all lumped in with the usual family transitions, my mother's death (by breast cancer), family chaos, my own BC diagnosis three years later and a year of recovery, then my Dad died and I fell out of a tree and broke my back and five ribs, so it's been a tough few years. But with a lot of mindful practice and such, you will get through it. So for me, already a survivor of a week worth's of Oprah, six years isn't so bad. For you, it's only been two years.

Hack your way towards the light and eventually you won't feel so bound up in it all. By the way, I'm still paranoid at every twinge or strain in the whole breasticle area. I am so happy not to have them anymore, never was a big fan and I hated bras more than anything. Still, I'm terrified it's coming back, so join the club?

DorothyB

I am currently participating in LiveStrong which is a free program at YMCAs that includes exercise, fellowship, etc. It has helped me.

wallan

Hi there:

What I do is if I feel sad or anxious or have pain or some weird symptom I ask myself "what do I need now?" And then do what comes up. So If I feel like an ice cream, I have one. If I need tylenol and a nap I have one. Etc.

I do take Effexor for depression/anxiety and hot flashes. It takes the edge off.

I also reach out for support when I am really bad. These boards are great.

Hugs

wallan

rockymountaingirl

The emotional aftermath of breast cancer is a problem for many of us. You have reached out for help, and that's a great first step, but it sounds like you aren't getting as much help as you need. I agree with the suggestion that you should ask whether medication would be appropriate for you. If you are really struggling with anxiety and depression, it might help you feel better. Look for other things that make you feel better, too. Maybe you don't feel like going for a walk, but it's a beautiful day. Go for a walk and see how you feel afterwards. If you feel a little bit better, great! Add "take a walk" to your list of "things that make me feel good." Then look for other things to add to that list. One of the things that helped me during treatment was a six-week stress management workshop led by a psychologist who had a lot of experience working with cancer patients. One week our homework was to keep a simple diary listing what we had done to take care of ourselves each day, what we had done to relax, and what "pleasant events" we had scheduled. Then we were asked how each of these things had made us feel. That forced me to really think about what made me feel better and what didn't. You might find it helpful to try something similar. Note that you may have to push yourself to try things, especially in the beginning! It's also helpful to find ways to deal with the things that make you feel bad. We all have "unhelpful thought patterns" -- such as assuming that the worst is going to happen and then worrying about it -- and those of us who have had cancer probably have more than our share of them. A psychologist, therapist, or social worker with experience working with people who have faced the stress of cancer (or other serious illness) should be able to help you identify your unhelpful thought patterns and find the best way to deal with them. If your current treatment provider isn't helpful enough in this regard, tell him/her you need more help. Or look for a new treatment provider.

I wish you the very best, and I hope that you will begin to feel better soon. Now I'm off to the barn where my horse, Rosie, lives -- because, like Cowgirl13, my best stress reducer is a horse. Maybe it's her big brown eyes . . .

flashlight

Hi, You have been on some heavy duty meds. Have you tried the supplement L-Theanine 200mg ? What about Lexapro for anxiety? Lots of these medications take 4-6 weeks to work. I read where you just had a hip replacement. I hope you are able to do the rehab exercises it is important. What about taking a vacation with the sun in your face and the ocean in your ear or planning on visiting a family member for Thanksgiving? Small steps lead to long walks.

LoveLau

they dont have ut in hawaii. I checked it out actually the guy running it has wife, mom and mil with bc

LoveLau

thank you. Nothing works. They are thinking about shock treatments. I read ernest Hemingway had that and killed himself. They also suggested ketamine but then i read it causes breast cells to proliferate. They tried me on all the meds. Not lexapro but something in that "class" checking L-Theanine 200mg I am on exetamase. Could not find out if there was an affect. I take melatonin for sleep works ok. Have you used those drugs? What do you know about them.

My psy who said he could cure me with psyc drugs has not. And he recently said he thinks i have exhausted treatment available in honolulu and I should try mayo clinic... for 36000 a week. My health plan wont pay for that and I dont have the funds. Have you tried any of those? Are you a cancer doc? Are you currently on any psyc drugs. They even had me on anafranil. It caused auditory hallucinations. He said he had very good results with maois. I think hes full of shit. I think he had only 1 pt with breast cancer. I asked Kaiser to send me to someone with experience with bc patients. They said " go that ain't gonna happen." I am pretty sad, get si unless I take the ativan.life is not great here but I keep working on it exercising,, eat right read the bible.

Any suggestions are appreciated. Love to you

flashlight

LoveLau, I did not realize you are from Hawaii. I would fire that psychiatrist! Have you thought to talking with a geriatric psychologist? They may suggest medication and or treatments, but do not prescribe. What they do is listen and try to find out why you are feeling the way you are. Maybe medication isn't the answer for you unless you have a psych diagnosis. Have you been on Ativan for some time? Sending good thoughts your way.... I recently tried a Ba Duan Jin class and it was very relaxing.

MinusTwo

LoveLau - sorry for your suffering. I'm just a bit older than you and live alone with no family around. Live Strong was a good idea. In addition, I go to Silver Sneakers classes twice a week. There are benefits through most Medicare plans & looks like there are over 30 locations in Oahu. I'd much rather sit in my recliner, but it's first up on my calendar so I force myself get out & go. Just going helps, not to mention the exercise. And we're all 'seniors' so it's not a beauty contest. I've recently added chair yoga at a local hospital. It's free for cancer patients. The breathing training is valuable, not to mention the acupressure.

Hoping you can find something that will pull you to an upward trend while the ativan is taking the edge off.

LoveLau

I wonder if the meds are making me feel bad. So many with the bc sre doing fine no anxiety. I want to get better and live a good life. I was very busy before. People tell me I have to stay busy to keep the depression at bay. I was helping out at a school. I can do that again. I was involved with community organizations. My friend suggested I get back to that. But with the anxiety it's hard. What do you think? Just push through the anxiety? . Or might it be better to do less and concentrate on one area. Thanks for your imout.

vlnrph

Dear Love, don't assume other bc patients are doing fine with no anxiety! Many people are good at presenting a happy face on the outside but are actually in denial regarding their true feelings. You have an advantage over them because you know yourself well enough to recognize and talk about what's going on.

I agree that helping people is an activity worthy of your time. Since you did it before at the school, starting that again would be something to try. Physical exercise, as described by those posting above, is a key activity also.

Finally, instead of shock treatments, look into transcranial magnetic stimulation. You stay awake and go for short sessions daily for several weeks. It was FDA approved more than ten years ago as safe and effective. Let us know what you decide to do.

LoveLau

I did tms it gave me a big headache. I had a lot of hope that it would work. Can you check out that ketamine. Its beyong my understanding. My friendvtrieditvandvloved it but did not have. Looking for answers. Trying dilatical bt and cognitive therapy. People said I am not focused I want to get off the ativan.

Thank you❤

flashlight

LoveLau, It looks like you have tried many things for depression and anxiety. The ketamine for PTSD has many bad side effects. How much Ativan do you need to take a day? What about your general health? Has your thyroid, vitD level been checked lately? Do you take medication for high blood pressure? Is it possible that you have had a TIA? Have you tried joining the Y through Silver Sneakers to get out of the house? Other than medication and treatments for depression what changes have you made? How is your husband's health? Is he able to support you in fighting this? MinusTwo had very good suggestions in her post. Maybe you should try something different and over the next year things will improve for you. Give yourself some time to achieve this goal. Wishing you the best.

bcincolorado

Sorry you are making this decision. This part is very difficult I remember.

I was like you at first and they thought mine was caught early. After lumpectomy (which was my original choice) they do pathology to make sure margins are clear. Then came a call there needed to be more taken out because margins were not clear. So back to surgery again. After 2nd round of pathology surgeon said the breast tissues were very dense and it just needed to go so had to have another one again for mastectomy.

I did opt originally for least invasive and deforming surgery.

Onco testing allowed me to escape chemo since benefit did not outweigh risks from chemo drugs.

Took hormonal meds for 9 years and was stopped early because of side effects zapping my bones so much oncologist took me off.

During the time of treatment though my original oncologist retired. New one who took over questioned why I was not advised to do radiation too anyway. She felt it is beneficial for those not doing chemo to help avoid recurrence.

So I tried to do lumpectomy but ended up mastectomy. You can always choose the lesser option and then do more drastic if needed.

Best of luck to you.

LoveLau

Minus 2 is

9/15/11-410gummies CBS. If so how does it work. Do you have depression? Thanks

Kathy

LoveLau

Minus 2 is

9/15/11-410gummies CBS. If so how does it work. Do you have depression? Thanks

Kathy

MinusTwo

Yes, I had a bilateral mastectomy & 410 gummies installed in 2011. I am very happy with them, all the issues notwithstanding, and have no plan to change. For the most part I keep depression at bay by staying very physically active. I started out by just walking & working up to several miles a day. Also I found an interesting 'retirement' job to occupy some of my time for the first 3 years. Even though I had a recurrence in 2013, it's far enough away that I am usually, mostly positive about staying NED. But of course we all have moments that we just want to cry or give up.

Thought this WebMd article about exercise & depression might be useful. Hope you have someone to talk to, some useful medication and things get better.

https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-de...

LoveLau

The ketamine for PTSD has many bad side effects.

WHAT SIDE EFFECTS?

How much Ativan do you need to take a day?

1.5 A DAY

What about your general health? PHYSICALLY OK

Has your thyroid, vitD level been checked lately?

TAKING THRYOID 75MCG

Do you take medication for high blood pressure?

NO HBP

Is it possible that you have had a TIA?

NO TIA

Have you tried joining the Y through Silver Sneakers to get out of the house?

WAS WALKING 1 HR A DAY AND VOLUNTERRING AT SCHOOL. PEOPLE. SAID JOIN Y. THE WOULD UP NEEDING HIP REPLACEMENT

Other than medication and treatments for depression what changes have you made?

NOT SURE I DRIVE BUT DONT LIKE TO GO TO THE STORE ETC.

How is your husband's health? HE IS IN EXCELLENT HEALTH. Is he able to support you in fighting this? HE SAYS ITS 3 YEARS AGO ITS GONE .

Wanted to try ketamine but may cause proliferation of breast cancer. Checking if the nasal spray would not have the breast proliferation . Like those women who want to take hormones or maoi inhibitors where the drug does not go to gi tract.. looking at anything.

WHAT ARE YOUR DAILY ACTIVITIES THAT KEEP YOU STABLE. Thanks kathy

MinusTwo had very good suggestions in her post. Maybe you should try something different and over the next year things will improve for you. Give yourself some time to achieve this goal. Wishing you the best.

Dx 11/15/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1

LoveLau

moderators,

I have been struggling with depression and tried all the anti depressants. None worked. I am taking ativan 2 or 3 times a day. Everything I do has anxiety associated with it. I have to take ativan before and it does not always work. I have been reading asbout electric convulsant therapy. I any winderingvif some had it and if it helped. Can I ask that question? How it helped and turned out. If any have tried it?

Thank you