I need a job and it just seems impossible.

WC3

Money is getting tight and I'm trying to get back in to the work force and it just seems impossible. I am not able to return to my previous job for a number of reasons, one being, I can't physically do it at the moment, but that's fine because I need a FMLA protected job with benefits anyway.

But despite my efforts, due to things beyond my control, I feel like I am just not a competitive candidate and they are looking for people who's lives have gone a lot better than mine.

Not currently employed? They don't want you. Take public transportation? They don't want you. Old? Gaps in your employment? Gaps in your employment because of cancer? They won't say it, but they definately don't want you.

I made responsible choices in life and worked my ass off through my 20s and 30s to try to get on my feet. It shouldn't have been so difficult but I'm disabled and did not have much in the way of family support or resources as a teenager and young adult, or disability accommodations that I needed, and now I'm almost 40 and I'm no better off than when I was 20. In fact I'm worse off because I have only a fraction of the energy I used to have and I no longer have the educational opportunities that I once did. I thought by this point in my life I would have a house, and a car I could drive, a stable career and/or a family and I have none of those things.

I'm so tired and I feel like it's just absolutely impossible for me to get anywhere. I have no idea what to do other than to keep applying for jobs and hope for the best but I have no logical reason to be optimistic about this.

Irishlove

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this major interruption in your life's goals. You're not alone in this struggle and maybe my sharing can give you some insight.

I, too had a great career, husband, teenage kids, money in the bank. Then one day at work I had what I thought was a stroke. It took awhile to sort out the diagnosis and a neurologist did a spinal tap, MRI of brain, etc., and gave me a diagnosis of MS. My career was over when a second significant attack occurred not 6 months later. 3 years of fighting Soc. Sec. Admin., I was finally awarded disability. Savings were depleted, but mostly so was what I thought was my identity. Well I reinvented myself in these past 17 years. I recognize the need to take care of me, which was sorely neglected climbing that corp. ladder. I can't work due to this disease, but I devote my energy into rescuing animals and other passions, like reading. Perhaps you could start with looking into a field in the medical or perhaps social services area. You certainly could walk the walk and talk the talk. Even if it's volunteer work to begin with, it would be a restart on your resume. A paid opportunity could certainly open up along the way. Can you utilize your prior work history to become self-employed? Maybe take a few classes at the Community College in your area to shore up what may be missing?

One suggestion I would strongly say to you is, no need to share your medical with HR or coworkers. Just my opinion, but I think it would start you out on an even playing field keeping your medical history to yourself. I did share my diagnosis and found my supervisor less then supportive.

Wishing you a better future as you deserve it...

santabarbarian

WC3 is there something part time that might work as a first step? Such as tutoring a HS kid in a subject you are good at? Pet sitting in your home, etc? You might want to pop on to "Nextdoor.com" as there are always quite a few people posting on there to find these kinds of people. When my parents needed a helper a few hours a day, I found her on Nextdoor.com. The beauty is it is neighbors so the job is generally right in your area. Just an idea to get the ball rolling in the near term. I send you a hug.

Spookiesmom

Check with your states employment office They should have resources for people with disabilities to find employment.

WC3

Thank you everyone for replying.

Irishlove:

I had to skip out of work in the middle of it so I felt telling my supervisor the exact reason was better than not in that instance. I needed his recommendations for other jobs and so he had to know that I wasn't just a massive flake. He was understanding, thankfully. It's just explaining the gap to hiring managers that is problematic.

Santabarbarian:

I've done some gig type stuff in the past but the gig economy here is actually extremely competative and more often than not it worked out to below minimum wage. I just can't do that anymore. I need an actual 9 to 5 with benefits and job security.

Spookiesmom:

That's a good idea. I will try that!

MexicoHeather

I'm following your post with interest. I've needed time out to recover and I am 52. My insurance (through my husband's job) is very expensive. Yes, maybe I could do PT, but it's not enough. I'm considering Closed Captioning at home as a "gig". I've been doing volunteer work at my Church, too.

WC3

Well I browsed around the DOR website and will be taking an application in tomorrow but it doesn't look promising. Most of the jobs in my field require years of experience or familiarity with things that are highly specialized, are not taught in school and requires on job training, yet no one wants to train.

Why are things so impossible?

santabarbarian

Sometimes it can work to offer to come in free for a trial week... Do a killer cover letter1

LimnoGal

WC3-prior to retiring, I was a mid-level manager at a state agency. Our state had a program for individuals with mental or physical disabilities where the state would place the individuals in state jobs which they were qualified for, with appropriate accommodations from the start (most accommodations were part time hours, no travel, flexible leave). To sweeten the pot for hiring agencies, the positions were paid from state funds rather than program funds for an “acceptance period” (kind of like a probationary period). To sweeten the pot for program participants, accommodations and benefits were offered from the start, and there’s was a support system in for the participants. I got a decent part time data/research analyst from this program.

I don’t remember how this program was funded, but it was probably one of the Medicaid-to-work initiatives. For reference, I’ve been retired less than a year.

You might see if your state has a similar program. Best of luck to you

hapa

WC3 - Apply anyway. Most women will only apply to jobs if they have all or almost all of the listed requirements. Men will apply if they have 50% of them on average. I think most employers are hoping to find someone with all the listed requirements, and in a bad job market they may be able to, but they realize they probably won't. These days companies are having to be more flexible and creative in filling positions. I sent my husband the ad for the job he has now. He told me he didn't have the qualifications for it, and it was pointless for him to apply, but he'd apply anyway. I guess nobody else had them either. They were pretty specific, pretty much the only qualification he had was the degree and some tangentially related stuff from the gap year he took between college and grad school, but I guess that was rare enough in our area that he got it. My boss advertises a laundry list of specific experience that he wants when he posts jobs, but about half the time we wind up hiring people with the right degree but not the experience.

BTW, you can only get FMLA if you've been at a job for a year. You want a company with short and long term disability benefits.

WC3

LimnoGal:

I'm going to try to get my DOR application in today. Hopefully something will work out.

AliceBastable

It helps to really sell yourself. I got two fantastic jobs for which I was not particularly qualified because I wrote good cover letters that got me interviews, and I continued to sell myself in the interviews. Both positions required a college degree - I had dropped out after a year. Both required experience in that particular field - I had to dig back twenty years to a part-time student job. But in my letter and resume, I emphasized any job experience that would show even somewhat relevant skills. I always had a few different versions of my resume when job-hunting, emphasizing different skills I'd developed in my work history. And I had an 18 month gap in my active job history, plus a six year gap of not working while my son was small. "Re-entering the work force after dealing with long-term family issues that have now resolved" should cover any gaps. Details are nobody's business.

Remember, a lot of work history is like Jack and the Beanstalk - you have to polish your beans to make them look good and trade for something better.

LimnoGal

WC3- I agree with Alice and Hapa. We would ask for the moon in our applicants (for a peanuts salary and a crappy office, but with good benefits and coworker) and settle for the best of what we got. The suggestion to tailor your resume/cover letter to the position you are applying for is spot on.

WC3

Hapa, LimnoGal:

That is very true. I need to keep that in mind. I guess it's a bit like online dating. People put what they fantasize about, not what they will settle for.

Alice:

I'm admittedly not the best at selling myself, though more due to the fact that I have to break through more biases than most rather than it being an issue with my personality. I don't "look the part" and my speech can be a little clunky due to my disabilities but when people sit and talk with me for a bit they are often pleasantly surprised.

Magari

If you haven't already, look for jobs with your state or local government. They often require a test, which can even the playing field a little.

Benefits and job security are usually good, and discrimination is specifically prohibited in more concrete ways than private companies.

WC3

Magari:

I've have. They are hard to come by but I keep an eye out.