Acquired Immune Deficiency 15 years after AC/T chemo

wallan

So, I saw an immunologist/allergist for hives. I thought the hives were from Arimidex. I was sent to the immunologist for allergy testing to make sure its not Arimidex and to find out what it is.

Turns out, my hives are not caused from an allergy, but from a skin condition called dermographism. The immunologist told me these hives can show up due to an immune deficiency. She said since I have had BC twice, a thyroid tumor removed, a benign tumor on my adrenal gland and a renal cyst/tumor, and because I have on again and off again diarrhea, wicked heartburn and insomnia since my first diagnosis of BC, she thinks the chemotherapy I had could have knocked down my immunity. I am undergoing extensive blood testing and then probably some sort of treatment.

BC - the disease that keeps on giving.

I am also bummed out because I was let go from my job - lawyer says likely due to breast cancer and my age (56). I am suing for more severance. It really sucks because I am the breadwinner of the family and being let go rubs in my breast cancer issues.

I am seeing an oncology social worker to treat depression and manage side effects from Arimidex like vaginal dryness. She says to just take the rest of the summer off now. I am too stressed. She said stress is bad for breast cancer and I need to chill. She said maybe I should retire. I can't afford to retire. And now, I also don't have benefits as of end of August.

wallan

Betrayal

Wallan:

So sorry to read of your latest challenge. BC is the disease that keeps on giving and I hate to say it but your SW needs an attitude readjustment! The role of the OSW should be comfort and not telling someone who is in distress to "chill". The word chill, to me, is grounds for an argument so everyone in my family/friends knows better than to advise it.

Let your lawyer do the job of getting you more severance and hopefully some recourse for being let go. See if access to their health insurance is a possibility.

Please let the women and men on this site help you by being there when you need to vent or advice. You have helped others, so let us help you now. Hugs.

wallan

Thanks Betrayal for your advice.

I am letting lawyer doing his thing. Getting Benefits is unlikely he advised but he can get me more severance.

My OSW is quite stern actually. She advised me not to seek another career level job, but to consider my wellbeing as my first priority. She is hinting that maybe I would be better suited for a part time job in a flower shop or something like that because its low stress and to do something I thoroughly enjoy. In my mind, this is retiring, I am too young to "retire" because I would be bored and because I need income for real retirement. I am only 56. She says I need to consider my wellbeing - that stress is not good for my health (duh) and that I have had BC twice so maybe I should re consider things. It sounds logical and I think she means well, but for me it adds to my sense of defeat. Don't get me wrong - I would love to be the lady of leisure, but I do need a reasonable income. So I feel trapped too - what choice do I make? A low paying, low stress job and struggle with financial concerns or get back in the race for a higher paying job and struggle with stress and pressure? How do I want to live my life? Maybe I don't have long to live with my health history. Do I really want to spend my time toiling away for more money? And what about my career aspirations and my sense of accomplishment? Does this not count now? Do I have to let the risk of recurrence limit me? All these swirling in my mind. If I hadn't had BC, I would just go on and develop my career further. But now, I am faced with a possible shortened life span. And of course, there are the side effects of Arimidex to consider. They do steal QOL. The OSW says stress exacerbates these SE. So, I wish I wish I wish I was financially secure so that I could choose to take a pleasurable, leisurely, low paying job and not worry about it. I wish BC was not even on the radar.

So, for now, I am taking a hiatus for the summer to get over my burned out feeling and depression and consider next steps. I don't know if anyone feels this sense of defeat and injustice. On the one hand, I want reassurance and comfort and sympathy and for someone to take care of me. On the other hand, I want no-one to know and I just want to pretend like this whole BC business is a bad dream and get on with it. I guess I feel like my future and my daily life has been stolen. I need to suffer with the SE and scars and anxiety of BC every day and I may not be here to enjoy what i want in the future. It sounds so depressing as I write this. I want to think hopefully and positive and have faith that I will live to 90 or beyond with health and happiness. And of course, I think of people who have it much worse than I do. What right do I have to feel sorry for myself? I am lucky I have survived so far and that I am not at stage 4. I am lucky that I am not in excructiating pain or in the hospital or at hospice. I am lucky. Yet, I feel unlucky. LOL.

This is my vent. Anyone else struggling with this?