work related questions

ts542001

have spent the last few weeks acclimating to the fact that i have stage IV metastatic cancer. finally am getting past the initial shock and am starting to feel like the fight is on....

my biggest concern is what to do with work. ideally, i would like to work, mostly for personal satisfaction. i'd love to be able to fight this disease and win....if i stop working i'm afraid i'll just give in and lose the fight....

i do believe that in a few months time, thinks can cange down the line. if i'm not feeling well enough to work (either in too much pain, too fatigued, too many side effects from meds etc), then i can make a decision to stop working. but if i dont at least make an effort, i'll feel like i failed before i even started...

so i guess my question right now is, how many of us are working? have any of you had to cut back on hours/responsibilites?is there a lot of support in the household to continue to work?

looking forward to hearing your thoughts...

ts542001

42young

I was diagnosed stage 4 from the start 6 months ago & still working full time. My employer & boss accomodate my flexible schedule, so I can take time off for doctor appointments & treatment without problem. I work 3 days at home & 2 days in the office. My husband tries to take care most of the housework, so feel ok by the end of the day. I'm currently on Ibrance which is very tolerable. I am not sure if I can maintain work if i have to change treatment in the future.

Anonymous

I am self employed. My level of activity is the same as it was before the diagnosis, barring the first few months when I was on the whirlwind of testing and beginning treatment and getting emotionally acclimated to the diagnosis. When I get deep into my work, I forget alllllll about cancer and that's a good thing!

Of course, I have flexibility that many 9 to 5 jobs won't give. But if you enjoy going to work, I think it is a good thing to continue.

ts542001

thank you all.

i truly feel that working will help me get past these first weeks/months with new diagnosis, new outlook on life.

this is so new, and so raw, and so difficult....

illimae

I worked through chemo except for the day of my infusion, which went well, I stayed active. I took a few weeks off for surgery and worked part time through rads. Then, I was diagnosed with brain mets and continued for another 8 months but decided to use sick leave donations from coworkers. I’ve been essentially retired for about a year now and travel a lot. So far, so good.

LoveFromPhilly

hi ts- there is a good long thread on working with MBC...I’ll try to find it!

For me, I was working like an absolute maniac pre-diagnosis. I had just finished two master degrees and opened up my own private medical practice just a few months before I got the big whammie of news.

I decided to keep working, but to keep working much LESS. I went down from 6 days a week to 3 days a week seeing patients. This has helped me immensely to be able to take care of myself as well as stay as independent as possible.

On my days off I rest, exercise, cook, hangout with loved ones, take some art classes (so far I’ve done ceramics, drawing, painting, sculpture, and acting!! All the things I always wanted to do but didn’t have any extra time for!

I love being “semi-retired” at age 42 hahaha. It is actually the way we should all be living. Not working like little caged rats in the 9-5 doldrums in my opinion. I think our society’s work mentality is partially why I got sick - from being a perfectionist and trying to do it all!

Any way - my thoughts are: we need to heal. We need to rest. We also need as much independence and autonomy as possible with this diagnosis so as to not lose our minds.

Work gives me a place to completely forget about myself and cancer for a few beautiful hours. I will not throw in the towel so easily

LoveFromPhilly

here’s the link:

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/868361?page=2#top

pajim

Raising my hand for working. 6 1/2 years now. I admit that I (a) have a desk job, (b) have the most supportive workplace ever, (c) absolutely love my job and (d) don't have kids.

I thought this would be the year I'd have to cut back, but Halaven hasn't been that bad. I miss the occasional Friday afternoons and the 2 hours I'm at the cancer center for infusion. No one cares.

No idea how those of you with kids do it. I'd run out of steam for sure. Not on hormonals, but for sure on the iv chemo I'm on now.

The best part of working is it gets me out of bed and doing something. If I quit/retired/took disability I'd need to find something else to do. Day bridge doesn't make it. And I doubt I could physically play golf every day anymore, though I'm going to find out next week!

I asked the nurses in the infusion suite whether I was the only person they saw who worked. They told me absolutely not. At least half of the women work. [didn't ask the early vs MBC group but everyone there has breast cancer]

BTW, life will get better. You've experienced a major life event. Don't make any hasty decisions.

Piggy99

I remember very vividly the week I spent at home between being diagnosed with cancer and having confirmation of the bone mets. I looked at all the professional clothes I had bought in the prior year for what was supposed to be a new career and wondered if I would ever get to wear them again. Then I got the MBC diagnosis, met with my MO and started treatment and realized that at least for the near future I would still be me. And that a 20% chance of making it to 10 years was good enough for me to give the new career a go. Like Pajim, I have a desk job and a very supportive boss, and I’m on hormonal treatments, which means the side effects are tolerable. I have a 7 year old who is extremely low key and easy, so I don’t think she adds any extra stress or work - just a lot of love. I work full time during summer and go to law school full time and work part time during the school year. My classmates and most of my coworkers don’t know about the cancer, which means most of the time I get to be normal and think about normal things like exams and grades and clients.

I do occasionally wish I could just take a day off in the middle of the week, but not enough to make me want to give up work and especially school. Not yet.

Sadiesservant

I'm also working full time. It's been 2 1/2 years since my MBC diagnosis and, funnily enough, I have fewer days off than many of my colleagues! I also have a desk job but work in a demanding position with high stress at times. I do work from home once a week and am fortunate to have the flexibility I need for appointments. Single with no kids but live with my 88 year old mother. My mom helps out a lot, particularly with meal prep but, given her age, she also increasingly needs support from me.

When I was first diagnosed I took a bit of time off and very quickly felt like I was going to lose my mind. It was winter mind you so I didn't have the garden to escape to but I found that staring at four walls was NOT helpful. I couldn't wait to get back to work (and was frustrated that HR insisted that I have a "gradual" return to work). I'm now at the point where I feel I would like to cut back a little but haven't done it yet.

JFL

I work full time and haven't slowed down since diagnosis. The only change is I appreciate my work so much more now and I have made a conscious choice I want to continue with it and that it brings me joy and satisfaction. I honestly think that it has positively contributed to my survival. Like you, I don't know if I would fare as well if I stop working. I might spend too much time feeling like a cancer patient that is going to die and it all may be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I may feel a bit of fatigue with work but I am very personally satisfied and spend the majority of my time feeling like a "normal" person rather than a cancer patient and thinking about things other than the fact I have cancer. I forget many times throughout the day that I have cancer. I keep my diagnosis to myself and don't take time off other than for actual appointments. I will tell my boss I have a recurring appointment for my chemo appointments or that I have a minor outpatient procedure that will require me to be out for a day and/or work from home a few days or something like that (when I had Y90) That being said, I have a professional job and have the luxury of working from home occasionally. Not everyone has that option.

I haven't figured out the home situation fully and do need more help. I find that my evenings are more exhausting chasing after my 4-year old and trying to do things around the house than being at work. My work requires my brain but is a mostly sedentary desk job. I have someone clean the house once a week and we recently started ordering those delivery meal services that are precooked. They have so many healthy, reasonably priced options out there. No cooking and no dishes/cleanup. It is great and I am eating much healthier, balanced dinners as is my son. I spend less money as the delivered meals are so much less expensive than ordering from a restaurant a few times a week. Also, the house just doesn't look as great as I would like it to and the dishes will pile up more than I would like. It is what it is and I just don't have the capacity to keep everything in tip top shape all the time.

Good luck. I say don't throw in the towel if you do not yet want to do so. If there comes a day when you want to stop working, you can do so at that time.