Palpable lump, confirmed via CBE - Breast Center Appt tomorrow

CrowLuv

Hello all, I'm a 48 yo married mom of three - In my right breast I have an approximately blueberry-sized hard immovable lump underneath my nipple/areola and then after followup with my OB/GYN she discovered a "significant mass" in the right breast as well. To say I'm in shock over this is putting it rather mildly. (yes I know most of these things turn out benign but bear with me lol).

This is the last forum I'd ever expected to be a part of. I've never once in my life worried about my breasts - no hx of BC in my family, for one thing - also, I have very large breasts that have always been lumpy/bumpy with cysts and cyclical pain and so on - and that never worried me at all.

Additionally, I have other chronic health conditions (for about a decade) that have kept my mind from even thinking about my breasts! Rheumatoid Arthritis, very aggressive - so bad I had 2 total hip joint replacements before I was even 41. I also have some mild lung fibrosis and mild pulmonary hypertension so I see specialists for those conditions regularly. So, yeah - never gave my breasts a thought because I had enough on my "health plate," if you will.

Then, last year (mid-2018) due to endo and enlarged uterus, I had a TAH, with preservation of ovaries. The recovery was smooth and relatively easy. But then I had some other 'down there' issues (prolapsed rectum with 4th degree hemorrhoids - OUCH!) and it was so bad I had to have surgery for that. Again, easy recovery except for one thing: a massive decline in my overall health and raging flares of my RA that have been uncontrollable even with my biologic infusions (Remicade) and regular rounds of steroids.

I had been doing so well in early 2018 - then after the two back-to-back surgeries last summer, even though the recoveries themselves were technically smooth - it's like my body just was in complete rebellion over the trauma of two surgeries (the TAH was not laproscopic bc my uterus was enlarged, they had to cut me open pretty significantly). I just haven't been the same since.

First I noticed I just overall felt like crap - just like having the flu but no fever, this has been going on for months now. Then, my short-term memory started getting worse and worse and worse - it's so bad that my family has gone from joking about it to being truly alarmed. It's gotten especially bad this past month.

Then, about 2 mos ago I started having "lightning strike" stabbing pains in my right breast every once in awhile - but I blew it off. Basically - given my RA and all the flaring I have - if I focus on every single dang pain in my body I'd never be able to function, you know? So I just try to deal with it.

But then, this last couple of weeks my right breast started feeling, I don't know - just...weird? And my right upper arm and shoulder started feeling really wonky and sore off and on. I just chalked it up to RA but usually my RA pains are bilateral - this is just my right side - same as the weird breast feelings.

So, last week was when the alarm bells finally went off: I was sitting in my LR chair chilling and on a Netflix binge, when with my right hand/arm I reached over to the table on my left and holy mother of God the pain that shot through my right breast area - specifically in the nipple/areola area - it made me cry out loud! And I truly, truly do have a high pain tolerance. This was just bizarre!

I left the room to investigate - and started kinda pushing on it to see what was what - and that's when I noticed it - a blueberry sized hard lump directly underneath my nipple. I kinda wasn't believing it at first - so I kept comparing it to my other nipple, but yep - there was no denying it - hard lump, immovable, directly under my nipple/areola.

So then I thought whoa, maybe this is a cyst and I can pop it (I KNOW, I KNOW - THAT'S CRAZY - what can I say, I like Dr. Pimple Popper, MD lol). So I started to try to squeeze it a bit - I'm not proud of this haha - and as you can expect - that wasn't the right thing to do. It was clearly not something I could "pop."

So at this point I was honestly freaked out - I have had lumpy boobs my whole life - but this was like nothing I've ever felt.

So on Friday I went to my OB/GYN and she did a CBE and not only did she feel that lump, she said "you have a significant mass in your right breast - I don't want you to panic, but I'm sending you to a breast center for diagnostic imaging and probably a biopsy."

I said "What? Like besides the nipple thing?" she said Yes. I said "Is it something I should worry about?" and she deflected my question. I can't remember what she said but it was not terribly reassuring.

So now, here I am - on a Breast Cancer support board - anxiously waiting for what tomorrow will bring. It will be a diagnostic mammogram then an ultrasound, possibly followed by biopsy if indicated. I'm so relieved to know they have a dedicated breast radiologist on site who will go over things with me immediately, thank God for that.

I know that statistics are in my favor. That the majority of time these things are benign.

But even with all my other health issues I've dealt with over the past decade, I've never - and I mean never - have I panicked like I did when I left my OB/GYN. I was expecting her to say it was a cyst -but for her to say "there's a significant mass" in there - I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut.

After the appt I was driving around LOST in an area I've lived in my whole life - I couldn't focus, I couldn't think, I was out of my mind.

So here I am just rambling on and on - sorry for that - my mind is just kind of all over the place. I keep swinging back and forth between "Oh get a hold of yourself they have to be extra extra cautious with any kind of lump, and they're overwhelmingly benign" to "AHHHHHH IT'S CANCER!!" and then back again to "Good grief, calm down." LOL

It's kinda funny but not?

If you made it through this whole rambling mess, I appreciate it. Even if no one sees this - I think it's good for me to just get it all out of my system. Appointment is at 10am tomorrow, so by about noon tomorrow I'll actually know if it's something to truly worry about - and worrying right now is a total waste of mental space and energy, I do know this.

But I had to get it out. I know anyone here will understand, and I'm grateful for that.