Following in the footsteps of Super Woman

CreatureKeeper

I'm about to begin my chemo treatments soon. That will certainly begin to change my appearance and my situation will become more widely known at work. So far only management and one co-worker know I have breast cancer. 

That brings me to the subject of "Super Woman". One woman at work came in during her treatments and truly rocked the whole situation. It was clear to all she was fighting cancer and she just carried on, no matter how she looked .. bald, pale .. whatever. She set the bar. Keep going no matter what. Even now she is non-stop at work. I admire her strength, energy and continued fight. Another co-worker even complimented her once for how she managed it all. One comment made to her was "What are you going to do, sit at home and feel sorry for yourself?"

Me on the other hand, I just can't see myself being so open. That may change as I go through the process but right now I don't want to be the face of cancer at work. I don't want to walk around bald at work .. here I am for all the world to see. I want to be able to be myself, get stuff done as always and not work endless hours to prove anything ..  no heroics. Yet I feel I have to live up to "Super Women". If she could do it why can't I? If I don't push myself will others wonder why I can't? 

Farfalla6

I found your post so interesting and relevant. I am struggling with this. I work full time, and just started treatments ( had my second AC) I have a v nice wig and a few close colleagues know but not people in general. I felt like a superwoman myself the first cycle— I was like, this will be no problem!! But this cycle, uti, fatigue, mouth sores. I like the combo of having a few people know so I can confide in them and check on me, and having most not know so I can just do my best, call in sick occasionally, and not have to represent how strong or fragile I am.

hapa

CreatureKeeper, I'm sorry you find yourself here. I was one of those Super Women, at least on the outside. Everyone thought I was doing so well, but on the inside I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water. I kept going to work because I felt ok physically, and even when I didn't feel 100% I knew I wouldn't feel any better at home, but also because I didn't know what else to do. Work at least gave me something to think about besides cancer. And they were happy to keep piling projects on me, cancer or no. I suppose that was better than them taking all my projects because they thought I would die before I finished them, lol! Your Super Woman coworker was terrified, rest assured, and was probably desperate for the distraction. And she may have been lucky with side effects.

There is no reason why you have to follow in her footsteps. Just tell people that life has been treating you harshly, so you are being kind to yourself and taking time off if that's what you want to do. For me, if I were to have taken time off and stayed home during chemo, I would have driven myself crazy with the "what if" thinking. Don't think of Super Woman as the standard for all cancer patients, bulldozing her way through life during chemo (I assure you it was not as easy for her as it looked) was the way she coped and you are entitled to cope however works for you.