Your not yourself

Via

when they told me I had breast cancer immediately they tell you what you have to do. They really don’t give you time for physiological accept what is happening. The fear to know you have cancer is truly horrible. Then You go into surgery and in my case get a double mastectomy with reconstruction. You wake up in pain and then the journey beggings of pain and being so uncomfortable and like you lost your body.

The doctor told me that I would lost all sensation on your breasts and the reality of mentally accepting it. Is truly a different and difficult thing that no one really talk to you about. Yes, there are support groups. But, what happens in the middle of the night? When your in pain and you feel you have lost control of your body completely. Your breast and cheats feel so uncomfortable and not YOU! You find yourself crying because just a few months ago i was normal and here I am with this situation that came out of nowhere. How do you deal with it? Your heart and life feel so sad.

I am truly broke... my heart and my spirit feel broken and so sady at times. I know am not the only one. I known sadly that somewhere in the world there may be another woman feeling the same thing I am! Is just not fair we have to have cancer and go through all that is expected of us!

Via

alto

Via, it is all hard to accept.

I had had multiple surgeries before my mastectomy. The one benefit was that it was like a slow mastectomy - losing a little more each month. I had several periods of adjustment. I was too tired by that point to tolerate more surgeries for reconstruction.

Having dealt with surgery and depression before, I had a sense of what I might be up against after the mastectomy - physically and mentally. When I started not feeling like myself, I contacted my hospital's social worker. She set me up with a psych visit and I was able to take low-dose antidepressants. For me, it has taken the edge off and helped me with the adjustment. (For those who can't do meds, daily exercise and B and D vitamins can help.)

I really try to distract myself and focus on the positive so I don't get too low. If you are in a lot of pain, that would be even harder. It's hard to be happy when you are feeling poorly or in pain. I think you'd have to get the pain under control as a first step.

I also take comfort in this community, knowing that a lot of women are facing this stuff, and at least I'm not alone. Plus, some of the women here are just kick-@ss, and they inspire me every day. I have to work at it to have that kind of spirit.

But is there a social worker or therapist you could meet with to discuss what's happening and how you're feeling? When things creep up on you in the middle of the night, you want to have some tools to deal with them, and right now, it sounds like you're not sure what to do.

I wish I had more specific advice, but I think each of our journeys is a little different. I do think someone trained in this can help.

For what it's worth, one tool I've used is to really look at my "cognitive distortions" (you can google this and read a description of them - usually categorized as 10-15 types). Being aware of them helps me identify them when they appear. It doesn't solve everything, but it helps me be less anxious.