My husband left me

Jade85

I'm less than two weeks out from a double mastectomy and my husband has decided to leave me. He sat there and promised he'd get me through it all. Held my hand in the hospital and cared for my with such love for one week...then for a few days continued to take care of me but stopped talking to me, stopped all emotion for me....then said he wasn't happy and was moving out. I'm 33 years old and I've been a stay at home mom most of our 13 year marriage. I'm devastated, my kids are devastated....does this even happen? Has anyone ever had this happen???

mistyeyes

Jade, my heart cries for you. I am so sorry that you are going through this so young and I think your husband is very immature emotionally. I am sure your not real happy either and life is not always happy. I hope you have family or good friends to help you right now. You also need to talk with a counselor or someone, you are going through enough emotional/physical trauma right now without this added on top of it. Try to make your kids feel safe and laugh with them whenever you can.

Stherye

Hi Jade,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I really cannot understand it, but what I really know is he doesnt deserve you.

You are young, you are going to overcome this, and you will find real love again, I am completely sure. Even though if you think that is impossible now.

I am nearly four months out from a preventive double mastectomy, really at peace with my decision. When I look to my little twins, I am really happy with what I did. My husband has been supportive and at my side but, if he had left me, I would have thought that the most important thing in the world for me are my children and me. If a husband is not with you at these terrible times...they dont deserve us.

I really wish all the best for you and your children

Roots

I'm so sorry @Jade85. Know that you are not alone. Cancer has caused a huge rift for my young family too. I think some men can't handle when the roles reverse and they become the caretakers. It's a hit to their ability to be self centered. Here's an article about it: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/0911...

Remember that it is not because of you, or something you did, or because you are not love-able. It's because he's not as strong as you. Not as willing to stop being a child and put someone else's needs first.

Nothing you did.

You deserve better, and once you get through this, you'll be a new person. Even stronger. Even more in touch with who you are and what you want out of life.

Sending so much love your way!

beach2beach

jade,

I am so sorry. He is an an immature ass. I am sorry that you are left with dealing with this situation and trying to keep your children positive. Just love those children, they will help you get through this .,,,they will be your inspiration to get through this. Lean on friends, neighbors, family etc..here also.

Please keep on here

Nas

I am not sorry for you, I am glad that you being able to see his real face, I am 38 years old, for us at younger age it is a bit more difficult but we will get through it, BC does affect sexual and emotional life for sure, but if someone can’t stand by you in your weakness and sick days better himto go NOW, everyone gets sick, we all deserve real love, we deserve care and support in our weak days, it is a stage , this surgery, treatment they all will be behind you and I am sure you will find real love, keep strong and let all negative ppl out of your life.❤️

santabarbarian

Wow what an appalling thing to do. I send you a giant hug and your kids too. I am so sorry you are having to face this, on top of everything else, and that you and your kids are in this pain. Sometimes people have a really good front, and it's a massive shock when they let us down. But something tells me there has been a phony/fragile person hiding inside him all along... it just wasn't tested before.

I agree, he is a very weak (and narcissistic) person. Your kids will probably never see him the same way, and that will be a punishment he deserves.

edwards750

I am so sorry for you and your children. You do deserve better. I guess those marriage vows “ in sickness and in health” were just words for show. They mean something only if they don’t happen to you

You are young and have your precious children. You will get through this.

There aren’t enough words to describe his behavior but in the end he is the loser. Idk why he left you in your time of need other than some men can’t handle it when they have to be the caregiver or others who don’t want to deal with the imperfect wife.

I hope you have family and friends support. You definitely have us.

Keep the faith and keep us posted.

Diane

santabarbarian

Also: get a good lawyer. You want someone who can advise you.

When I amicably divorced we used one lawyer as a mediator, and it was cheap. But that attorney made us each consult our own counsel to confirm that the mediated settlement was fair and that we had our own representation help us understand it.

fredntan

I am sorry. I have seen this a lot. But yes get a good lawyer. Also do not post anything about this on social media...I think?

How are you doing besides that? Are your drains even out yet?

footloose

Jade,

My heart goes out to you. My first husband was going out with several other women and I was devastated.

He left and we eventually got a divorce. I was on my own for years and was fine. Had no plans for another relationship -

"been there done that"! Then by serendipity I met a man from Michigan (I was living in RI, had just planned a move to AZ.)

We corresponded for 2 years - visited each other and the first time he asked I said no (see above) but later I said yes.

I am soooo fortunate! He is wonderful. We've been married for 16years and I never would have had this relationship if I was still married

to #1. Believe me things get better when you least expect it. Don't rush - wait for the RIGHT one!