When did u tell your work?

Motheroftwo36

just curious to when most of y’all told your work about BC or even the possibility of it. I’ve had to take off work 3 times so far and still have two more appointments and that’s if it’s benign! I am waiting on having a biopsy but I already feel like my boss is suspicious. I’m always open to him when I take off because it’s usually kid related and we have a good work relationship but I haven’t told him that I am being checked for breast cancer. I keep debating on telling him but it’s stressful for other people to know and I really don’t want the rest of maybe work to find out.

Interested to hear what others have done! I bet he thinks I’m pregnant or something. Haha

Legomaster225

I’m really close with my coworkers. I actually got the call from my gyn while I was at work late one evening with the results of my biopsy. Thank goodness one of my best friends was there late too! I told my boss the next day at his home not in the office and told the rest of my department soon after as they would have to cover for me. I’m an accountant and it was year end. Busiest time for us.
You have to do what feels right for you though. I did find that it was easier for me when people knew but realize that not everyone is like that. Some people tell very few and like it better that way.

Motheroftwo36

I’m so scared I’ll be called at work! I think if it is bad results then I’ll sneak out and text my boss. Let him tell the others maybe. Luckily my office is small

Wigging2000

I told my supervisor about my cancer once I had my surgery scheduled, since I knew I would be out for several weeks. When I was having all my testing, I told her that I was having some health issues and that I’d be having some appointments. I didn’t tell the rest of my co-workers about my cancer until the day before my surgery. I wanted to be able to work right up to the day of the procedure without lots of questions/conversations. Everyone at my job was so incredibly supportive!

Motheroftwo36

I didn’t even tell my supervisor anything about me taking off, I just keep telling him I need off. He hasn’t asked about it yet , I think he’s respecting my privacy. I might have to use the health issues though at some point

illimae

Hi Lego! 👋

I am very close with a coworker too (work husband), I told him as soon as I felt a lump. When my PCP called me at work with the “sorry, it’s cancer” talk, I texted him that I was leaving for the day and to notify my group. Within a couple of weeks, after final tests/staging, I let everyone know and discussed my intention to medically retire eventually. They were shocked but a lot of them really came through, putting aside petty BS and pitched in.

Dani444

I told my manager after I had my diagnosis. I didn’t mention anything before that. I had lifting restrictions after my first biopsy but just told her I had a procedure done. I will say that when I slowly started telling my coworkers I was in awe of the love and support I felt from them. I understand what you are saying about it being stressful for them to know. I felt like some days it was a struggle to manage my own emotions, so I guess I didn’t think I could handle many questions I did not have the answers to.

Motheroftwo36

currently a few close friends and close family know. Yesterday after my appointment I had my first “meltdown” because of stress from thinking I was having my biopsy but it was just another consultation appointment. Then I realized I had to text what felt like so many people to tell them the news, then everyone of course had questions so I was so overwhelmed with texting and I all I really wanted was to cry by myself and sleep. That’s when I realized I was glad that I hadn’t told more people

buffalowings

I had my biopsy yesterday and await results. Right now, a few of my closest teammates know and my department chair (I am a teacher). I explained to my department chair why I had 3 absences in the last 1.5 weeks because I typically NEVER call out and hate missing school. I felt she should know there was a significant reason why and that I couldn't NOT miss those days.

I will only fill in my admin if the results are bad since they'll need to know at that point though I have zero intention of leaving my job. I will be requesting this thing get taken out even if I am lucky and it is benign so I will at least update them on the need for surgery. But until then, I'm keeping it close to my chest (pardon the pun).

kber

I have a good relationship with my boss and told her when I had the biopsy but before I got the results.  Yes I had missed some work, but we had both been putting in 60 hour weeks for some time and she was super flexible.  Even before that, given our workload, if I needed to duck out on a random Wednesday afternoon to finish holiday shopping, it was no big deal.  Plus the MD Anderson center I go to is literally right around the corner from the office, so it was easy to duck in and out of appointments.

But I was totally distracted and disengaged and I thought my boss deserved an explanation of why, after killing myself for her and the team for 18 months, I suddenly couldn't care less about work stuff.  I wanted to give her some heads up that if the test results were what I feared, she was going to have to figure out how to work without me.  

She continues to be wonderfully supportive.  My original plan was to take a full leave of absence, but in the end I've been able to shift responsibilities around and work 30 hours a week or so while in chemo.  I'm certainly not at my best, but honestly I'm ok with that.  It's just work, after all.

KBeee

I told mine right away, but I am close to them, even though they are 90% men, and knew they would be supportive. Last time I was in the parking lot of work when I got the news, so they knew before my family.

Runrcrb

once it’s out it will never be back in. My recommendation is to keep the circle small. If you do have breast cancer and end up with a lot of treatment - mastectomy, chemo, radiation, etc., I highly recommend using a site like CaringBridge.org to manage communication. I posted there and sent anyone asking me for updates there. I could not manage retelling the stories.

I told a few coworkers upon diagnosis due to the extenuating circumstance of a major health situation w my husband. I work for a large company. I did not inform Human Resources until my surgery was scheduled and i knew my anticipated time out for recovery

AnxietyGirl85

I was upfront with my boss from the time I was diagnosed, though I didn't tell many coworkers (or many other people in general, and still haven't). I'm a contract worker and was working at that moment on a difficult project that was not going well (and my workload and stress levels were extremely high), so I wanted to be honest with them from the get-go, for the sake of the project and my reputation - in my industry, where everyone is replaceable, taking too much time off, for any reason, is seen as being unreliable, and since I'd worked hard to prove that I WAS reliable, I didn't want this diagnosis to ruin my career. I needed them to know that it was very serious, that I wasn't just being flaky and letting them down. I told my boss immediately when I had appointments, when my surgery was scheduled, etc., and while he was decent about it, not everyone was, though I think that makes me the exception to the rule.

(This whole mess has been a nightmare for me, work-wise, but that has far more to do with the nature of my work and the particular company I was working for, and not the diagnosis itself.)

Like another poster on here said, once it's out, it's out, so just be aware of that when/if you decide you need to tell anyone anything. Of course, I'm sure we're all hoping that, once you've had your next couple of appointments, you'll find out that you've got nothing at all to worry about and then there won't be anything to tell anyway, but on the off chance that they do find something, you know how information travels, be clear with who you speak with and what you tell them, and if you would prefer that they keep the information on the down-low. Maybe if you absolutely HAVE to say something now, you could just say that you've got some medical appointments - if nothing comes of it (fingers crossed!), then that's all that needs to be said, and if something does come of it, then you can provide more information to your employer as necessary.

Just some thoughts.

Motheroftwo36

thanks ladies for sharing your stories! I'm definitely gonna wait till I get biopsy results! And maybe wait longer. With my work I would have to file FMLA I would imagine so I can't wait too long. BUT Hopefully I won't be having to deal with it anyway. I feel like this process has made all of y'all stronger women and it's great rob have this support

gb2115

I told them right away, like the day after my lump was found. It was easier because I literally have no poker face. I wanted them to know why I was walking around looking so awful. My boss was with me when I got the diagnosis phone call. We're a small and close knit office, mostly ladies.