depression, anxiety... hearing loss..

ashell

Hi everyone, long time no see!

I'm not sure where to put this post, putting it here because I suffer from anxiety and depression and these things may be contributing to my not so great feelings right now.

I've had tinnitus in my left ear for the past couple of years. I told my doctor back when it started, but she didn't really do anything besides suggest I take zyrtec which didn't help. I told my psychiatrist about my tinnitus and how it is affecting my anxiety, and she pushed my doctor to refer me to ENT.

Anyway, to get to ENT I first needed to see an audiologist. I did that today and learned that I have high frequency hearing loss in my left ear. I knew that I couldn't hear quite as well in my left ear since I do hearing screenings as part of my job and I always test my audiometer on myself, and had noticed that the beeps sounded a little quieter in my left ear. But I was still able to hear them... because in my job I only screen up to 4000 hz. Once I got to 8000 with the audiologist, my hearing went down to the mild-almost moderate hearing loss level.

The audiologist said that my hearing loss is not expected for someone my age (28) and with my history of exposure to loud noises or lack thereof. So, she referred me to MRI, assuring me that the likelihood of an acoustic tumor is very low and that they just want to rule it out.

The thing is, my breast tumor was very rare. Fibromatosis. So things being rare don't really mean anything to me. But still, I figure it's probably not another rare tumor.

But then, I was looking up hearing loss MRIs because I was curious if it would look at the whole brain, or what.. and came across the name of the tumor that MRIs would be looking for in people with hearing loss, and I clicked on it. And the word neurofibromatosis jumped out at me.

Fibromatosis... neurofibromatosis... tinnitus... hearing loss... dizziness/vertigo... balance problems...

Sigh. I closed all those tabs out. I don't need to be looking at that anymore. I need to just wait and see what the MRI says. First I need to get the MRI.

I just need to work through my feelings, and typing them out like this helps. If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them. I'm feeling so lost right now.

Thank you if you read this. I've always felt so supported on this forum and I really appreciate that.

Trishyla

No advice (except stay off Dr. Google!) Just hugs and good wishes. Hope everything turns out okay.

Trish

ashell

@trishyla thank you, hugs and good wishes are always appreciated

Trishyla

🙂

MCBaker

I have worn HA's since I was 46. I am out of the banana. I am currently doing weekly Taxol/Herceptin. I already have neuropathy, which may be connected to my hearing loss. If I have a recurrence, I am petrified of more and permanent nerve damage from aggresssive chemo. Worst scenario: deaf and in a wheel-chair. Unlikely, but enough for my treatment team to consider following up with Nerlynx, another targeted therapy.

Just let go, trust your team, you need to be an active member, but trying to control everything yourself is your enemy. Ask them for some help with controlling the depression and anxiety. That you can do.

NotVeryBrave

No advice here, but I have had tinnitus in my L ear for about a year. It started after all of my treatment was over. My PCP gave me names for both an ENT and a neurologist, but he also basically said that there isn't usually an answer. So far - I have not sought any answers. But it bothers me sometimes to not know.

AnxietyGirl85

Just wanted to chime in and say that sometimes, tinnitus just happens for no tangible reason and it may or may not go away on its own. It could mean that there's something going on, but I think, more often than not, there's no physical reason for it and nothing that can be done to fix it (nothing to repair, remove, etc.), so please try not to overthink it, there could very well be absolutely nothing to worry about, and with any luck, it'll resolve itself in time, or at least fade to the point that you don't really notice anymore.

I've had tinnitus and hearing loss in my left ear since I was 15 - I'm almost 34 now - due to a non-cancer-related issue. At this point, I've had my tinnitus so long that I would miss it if it went away, it's like an old friend now - if yours doesn't resolve itself, it's not the end of the world, it's totally possible to get used to it, I barely notice mine unless I'm paying attention to it. And I use my hearing loss to my full advantage, it makes for very peaceful sleep at night, not being able to hear all that city noise out there. I know it's tough and weird and new and unpleasant right now, especially when you're worried and you just don't have any real answers, but it'll all be OK. Let me know if I can help you in any way.

ashell

Thank you for your replies everyone!

@anxietygirl85 - what was the issue leading to your tinnitus and hearing loss if you don't mind my asking?

I don't actually think what I have is necessarily a cancer-related issue, especially since my breast tumor, called fibromatosis, wasn't even considered cancerous depending on which doctor you talked to. However, it still disrupted my life and lead me to have to have a mastectomy, so I know "benign" tumors don't equate to "harmless"

At this point, I'm just hoping it's one small acoustic neuroma and either they watch and wait or have to remove it but it doesn't cause any major problems other than hearing loss. What I'm afraid of is something more sinister, or more/bigger tumors. I've been experiencing intense problems with short term memory and clumsiness on top of my vertigo and balance and tinnitus, etc. So I can't help but let my mind wonder a bit.

Really trying not to dwell. I have an MRI scheduled for the 22nd.