Does stress increase risk of recurrence?

pesky904

I hope not. I have nothing but stress in my life right now. I'm 44 and just spent 18 months fighting stage III TNBC.

Just before I was diagnosed, my husband left me for a woman he knew in high school. But he didn't divorce me. He just left, moved 1000 miles away and started a whole new life. I spent all the money I had trying to divorce him. Then I got diagnosed and at some point while I was fighting cancer, he changed his phone number and now I can't even reach him. So I'm still married, but to a ghost. I can't afford to divorce him unless I walk away with absolutely nothing, and I'd at least like to get what I'm entitled to from his retirement.

He took my beloved dog with him and this past summer, I found out via Facebook that he had euthanized my best friend. That really killed me and no one really understands the depth of my grief over that.

I've been staying with my older brother since my diagnosis. I work freelance doing transcription, but the nature of my work is deadline-oriented so I lost more than half of my income while fighting cancer. I can barely concentrate most of the time, so I work much slower now as well. I can barely pay my basic bills and now my brother has not so kindly told me I've overstayed my welcome and need to get out as soon as possible.

I'm extremely high risk for recurrence. I am still freelancing when I can but I have no real job and am dealing right now with a new lump in my reconstructed breast while also trying to find new employment and save money for a place to live. Trying to find a job is stressful, but even more so when you know you will have to take so much time off for appointments, etc. I still need fat grafting surgery but will have to put that off for a long time. I also worry that I will start a new job and then get a recurrence and end up homeless or something.

I feel stressed every minute of every day and no amount of meditation or meds can help because it won't change the situation. I will always have to be vigilant about recurrence, and I still my unfinished marriage/vanished husband hanging over my head. I know finding a job will help and I hope I can find one soon. I also know I can't afford to be picky, but being high risk, I can't face the idea of being in a job that I absolutely hate. I don't have to love it and be totally passionate about whatever job I do, but I'd like to find something I at least like.

I do wonder how much of a factor all this stress is in whether I get a recurrence or not. My friends and family initially all questioned whether the stress of being abandoned by my husband contributed to my cancer to begin with, since I really had no risk factors.