New to the group~ Where do I go from here?

Annanza

4 weeks ago I was diagnosed Stage IV with widespread mets to bones and liver. The shock of this feels almost violent. I just CANNOT believe this has happened. My family has been blown apart and I don't even know what to do with myself. My oncologist put me on Ibrance, Zometa and Letrozole immediately. How do I make sense of this? How did you make sense of this. Where do I go from here? I am so so frightened.

50sgirl

Annanza,

I am sorry that you have been diagnosed as stage IV. I know how scary and confusing it can be. I remember thinking that I had little time left to live. I even cleaned our my closet and dresser drawers, thinking it would make it easier for my husband. I had read all the dire statistics on Google. What a mistake that was! Thank goodness I have an oncologist who brought me back to reality and that I found these discussion boards full of wonderful, knowledgeable, supportive women. Here I am, 3 1/2 years later still leading a normal life. I feel good and look healthy. Strangers would never guess that I have metastatic breast cancer.

Ibrance and leterozole is a treatment given to many people with MBC. Many are having excellent results and have been on that combo for several years.There is an Ibrance thread that you should read. You can also ask questions. It is one of my favorite threads because the people who post there on a regular basis are really special.They not only offer support and advice, they share their own struggles and celebrations, tell us about their trips, and do that with honesty, love and humor. Here is the link to that thread.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/...

There are also threads for bone mets and liver mets, but I think that the Ibrance thread is a good place to begin. Please don't think there is no hope for you. Once you begin treatment and settle into a schedule, you will begin to feel better about things.

By the way, a woman recently checked in to say she is still doing well 17 years after her stage IV diagnosis. I know of others who have had MBC for 10 years or more and are doing well.

Hugs and prayers from, Lynne

DivineMrsM

Ann, so sorry you were diagnosed with mbc. I hope you find support here on this forum. When I was first diagnosed, I was scared out of my wits, too. I was so scared even to click on the link to open the stage iv/metastatic bc section. What was I going to find? I had to make myself click that link.

One thing I found were women processing the news they had this disease, learning about the best care and treatment, getting that care and then moving forward to live as normal a life as they could. It helped to read about their kid’s birthday party they had, or bought a new coat or took a vacation. It helped me to know there were other women walking in the same shoes as me and I felt less alone.

My advice is to try to take this just one day at a time. Take care of whats in front of you today and not worry about whats too far off in the distant future. If you need to take antianxiety or antodepression drugs to cope, do it.

Look through this section of the forum and find the threads about newbie advice for those with stage iv bc.. There are lots of great tips that you will find helpful. Best wishes to you.

pajim

Annaza, welcome to the club. Only the best ladies get to join.

Your fear and anxiety are totally totally normal. We've all been there. You're in the black hole. It will take a while for you to dig yourself out. This is a major shock and loss.

The best things you can do for yourself right now is to do nothing. Except take your medications. In other words, don't make any major decisions. Don't change your life completely. Don't give away your stuff (said my oncologist to me). Let yourself settle in. In a few months you'll discover that not much about your practical life has changed. Truly.

Lynne and MrsM have given you excellent advice. One day at a time.

Grannax2

Annanza You've gotten excellent advice here already. I came on this forum two years ago, scared to death. I hate to think what the two years would have been like if I hadn't stumbled onto to the threads I write on now. You'll find the ones you need. I think I started by going on the Ibrance thread. I didn't understand, or believe a pill could do much to help me. I wanted to know how and if it could really work. It does work, not only for me but lots of ladies here. They were so friendly, helpful and encouraging. I found my MBC support group.

You will too. Stay with us. Two years ago I was where you are but with extensive mets to lung, chest and liver. I had not read about Ibrance and thought I was doomed, I was wrong. I heard from women who answered my questions, you know, the ones you think about after you leave your doctor's office. I laughed, a lot. We have a unique sense of humor here. I learned, it helps me not to panic. You will, too.

Start with asking a few questions on the Ibrance thread, I found the liver mets thread invaluable. I have a ton of personal experience to share about liver mets. When you want to know more, ask me. I'll wait for you to be ready to ask, whenever that is, is up to you.

My story is on a video on the " Tell us your Stage IV story" thread.💞

Bestbird

I am glad you have found this forum, although I'm very sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here. I hope you respond beautifully to your treatment!

You will also find that knowledge is power. If you are deliberating about treatment, struggling with a side effect, or simply want to learn more, you may want to request a free copy of my book "The Insider's Guide to Metastatic Breast Cancer" which has been forwarded to more than 3,000 patients and caregivers worldwide. To request a complimentary copy, please see the instructions at: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/831507?page=4#idx_111

Readers have said:

"It should be given to every woman immediately upon receiving a diagnosis of MBC."

"Your guide has given me everything I need and even more. Most importantly, I am taking it to all my appointments."

Novagirl

Annaza, I’m in the same boat as you with similar treatment. I was diagnosed 4 weeks ago too. I’m on Ibrance/Letrozole Zolodex and Xgeva. I’m on day two of radiation to my hips and lumbar spine. I have bone and lung Mets.

These boards and the women on them have helped tremendously. I have learned so much.

My brain copes by allowing me to laugh and completely block it out. I’ll be doing something or watching a movie and will forget what is going on. Then a banner will fly across my mind and I’m jolted back into the horror.

Right now we are in the thick of it and it’s new. I know just like the ladies on this board - you eventually settle in to it and it gets much better. I think three months from now once you have scans and are told it is working, you’ll feel better too. That’s what I’m telling myself.

SchnauzerMom

Annanza,

You have so much company here. We have all felt the cold shock of diagnosis, and feared that we had little time remaining. You will get through these next few days and weeks, and the horror eventually will fade most of the time, and a good bit of normal life will return. It has been nearly 6 1/2 years since I was diagnosed with liver and bone mets. I've been on a lot of medicines (certainly not all worked), but some did. A couple of my medicines did not even exist at the time of my diagnosis. Some days are not easy, but most days are good. There is hope!! Help is on the way. Wishing the best for you!