Sinking into quick sand

Dyannah

Ok. I was numb until today. Maybe I was just blind. I got suspension from my job because I did very very bad thing. I don't think that I can deal with any more. My diagnosis is not bad. So why do I feel like I am sinking? Why is the depression hitting so hard now? Hell maybe I sm just stopping from getting numb

Moderators

Hi Dyannah,

We're so very sorry to hear you're having a tough time. This breast cancer ride can certainly be a rollercoaster of emotions. We get it -- this stuff is hard!

Have you reached out to your doctor to let him/her know how you're feeling and the struggles you're having? Perhaps he/she will have some recommendations or can prescribe something to get you back on track?

We're thinking of you and sending lots of positive thoughts your way. You're not alone!

--The Mods

Salamandra

Depression is a beast. It's ok if you can't make sense of it now. All you know is that you're hurting and it sucks.

It feels like quick sand. Feelings are real. But feelings aren't facts, or mandates. You can still be okay. You will be okay.

Do you have a professional support team? Or friends you trust that you can reach out to?

Dyannah

I have an appointment with my regular doctor on the 10. She is gone until then. I will get her to give me some antidepressants, and maybe time away from my job so I can focus on the things I can't hide fro

Salamandra

That sounds good! I have been taking leave from my job, and it helps a lot to only have to focus on one thing at a time.

If you have access to it, I once had a therapist recommended supplementing with inositol for anxiety. The recommended dose is higher than most pills so I get powder. I find it helps a lot, and is something you could try while waiting for the prescription meds. Other non-prescription things that have helped people I know are valerian and St. John's Wort.

Dyannah

it sounds funny. It didn't hit me until today. I had surgery this month already, and almost all healed. Today I got in big trouble and almost lost my job. Then I knew that I was not dealing at all. Just playing a part. Am I strange or what

Salamandra

Sometimes we need a louder wake up call!

The important thing is that you heard it and are taking steps to take care of your full health, including mental/emotional.