Can't shake fear/bad feelings

Adonailives

Hello all. I'm sharing here because I don't want to worry my family more than they already are. I haven't shared all the details with my family because my husband is already freaking out just because of my family history. My mom's family is riddled with cancer. All of her paternal aunts had breast cancer, and there were 7 of them. Her sister passed from Cancer at 34. It was put down on her death certificate as lung cancer, but the doctors told them that they were not sure where it had started. One of my Uncles just passed from Pancreatic cancer after surviving Lung and Prostate cancers. Another Uncle just finished his own breast cancer treatment. His daughter (my cousin) passed away 12 years ago from Breast cancer. Once my Uncle was diagnosed we started getting genetic testing done and have all tested positive for CHEK2 mutations. While I was waiting on my own genetic testing I found two lumps in my left breast. One was about the size of a pea the other slightly smaller. My doctor ordered a diagnostic mammogram with ultrasound, but I have had a hard time getting a clinic to make the appointment. When my genetic results came in I was able to finally get an appointment by my doctor ordering a screening mammogram instead and it being coded for familial history and genetic predisposition. I have had that one and am awaiting the results, though they have already scheduled a diagnostic for next month. I cannot shake the feeling that something is wrong in my breast. I know statistically its benign, but...

The tissue in my left breast is thicker (denser?) than it used to be, both myself and my doctor can note the change and that it is unilateral. Both myself and my doctor could feel the two small lumps and both agreed it almost felt like a clogged milk duct (I haven't lactated for more than a year...). I am having sporadic sharp stabbing pains in the exact spot of the lumps. Both lumps have grown and now I can feel a third one closer to the chest wall and arm pit.

I have three young children. I know that statistics are in my favor, however with family history and having tested positive for CHEK2 I can't shake the fear. I know something is going on and pray that they changes are for a normal benign reason. my logical head and they bad feeling I have don't agree though. If you read all of this thank you. I needed somewhere to vent and express my concerns and fears...

molliefish

hey, how about we take some time to process this while we're waiting. I had no familial history and found my lump on self examination. Nothing is ever the same for each of us. try not to freak yourself out. Wait until you have a diagnosis to do that. Once youre in this 'club' nothing will be the same and the road to the new normal is not an easy one.

JoE777

Hi Adonailives, you've come to the right place to vent and gain the knowledge and strength to make the waiting bearable. Hold on to the thought that there may be nothing. If there is something we're here to hold on to you. Breathe and do some fun things with those sweet children this weekend and let their love for mommy carry you through the wait. Keep us in the loop. Waiting for good news. Hugs and peace for your night. J

Moderators

Der Adonailives,

Welcome to the BCO community. We hope that you will find support and information that will support you through the waiting. We are here for you. The Mods

Adonailives

Molliefish trust me, its not a "club" I want to be a part of. I am however frustrated having people blow me off due to my age. It doesn't help fear when My cousin was blown off for more than two years before her diagnosis, she passed away 3 years later at 31 leaving behind three young children. Even now I'm getting different reports from the imaging center. On one hand they are telling me that there should be a diagnostic since I feel lumps, but then they are refusing to continue and do one. I had one person tell me that it isn't standard procedure when a a lump is felt. They also told me that the screening mammogram was better than the diagnostic... So for now my diagnostic is canceled as I have misplaced the orders from my OB. I was however able to fight and get a ultrasound ordered. I know the numbers and that it is improbable that I am following in my cousins footsteps, however I refuse to give up without an answer to what these lumps are.

Denise-G

I understand your fears as my sister and I have Chek 2 mutation but did not know until after being diagnosed with breast cancer.  My father's side of the family was full of cancer - both his parents and 5 out of 6 of his siblings died of cancer.  Lots of colon and my dad died from pancreatic cancer.  Many cousins have had cancer. 

You have a lot of bad news in your family.  I am so sorry.  The good news for you is that Chek 2 was just discovered in 1999 and we were told by our genetic counselors that a lot is known about the gene for such a short period of time.   

HOWEVER,  doctors in my mid-size city (population 500,000) that has rather large cancer centers, had never even heard of Chek 2 before. That is scary!  Fortunately, we were already patients at a major university cancer center, University of Michigan, that knows a lot about it.  My sister and I went to a genetic counselor who was invaluable in helping our fears and making sure we were tested. 

My advice to you especially because you are young - no matter what the mammogram shows, make an appointment with a Genetic Counselor at an NCI Designated Cancer Center who will understand your situation, your family history, and your fears. If anything at all is seen on your mammogram, they will make sure you get the proper testing.  Here is a list of National Cancer Institute (NCI) designated cancer centers.

https://www.cancer.gov/research/nci-role/cancer-centers/find

They will also MAKE SURE you get monitored closely so you do not end up in the horrible situation as your cousin did.  That is just heartbreaking.

All my best, Denise     PS - if you have further questions, send me a Private Message.

Adonailives

As I shared I knew that they odds were that the lumps were normal. I had the Ultrasound today and the radiologist said fat globules. He did also recommend (as expected) that I continue regular screening mammograms and consider screening MRIs.