diagnosed Monday with IDC and want to be alone is that normal?

HPFULL

I was diagnosed with stage 2 IDC Monday morning. I had additionally appointments

and testing this week and I am beat. I have lots of people checking me to see how I am doing, asking questions, or wanting to hang out or get coffee and I'm so beat I just wanna be alone is that normal? I feel like it's been such a long week and I have been trying to hold it together at work, and have had major anxiety waiting on the additional tests. I just want to regroup. I think I told too many people

WC3

Yes, it's normal. The first person I told was actually the one the farthest away from me.

CaliKelly

Hi, I don't blame you, I told no one but my husband of course, until I was in treatment and knew my hair falling out would give it away! I wanted to just get my mind around it all and gather up all my strength. My friends and family were all kind of mad, like I hurt their feelings by not letting them help, sympathize etc. But i just had to keep it close to me at first. Once treatment was underway and i knew i could handle it, then i let them in. So do what you need to do, for you.

JS0404

I'm a loner by nature, so initially, I wanted to keep this to myself. I belong to a women's group and for the past year, a woman had been sharing about the ups and downs of cancer treatment. She's now cancer free. Although none of her message applied to me at the time, her honesty and transparency helped me immensely when I was first diagnosed. I am choosing to share my journey on my social media and in my women's group in the hopes that my experience can help someone else. I actually had a 28 year old cousin who had to get a biopsy about 2 weeks after me (I'm 32). Luckily, her results were benign, but it was important for her to know that we could be there for each other. I've also been introduced to other women going through the same struggle, so we're just providing support and encouragement to one another. Sometimes people ask too many questions, but I know how to re-direct the conversation if I'm just not in the mood to talk about it. It's really been therapeutic because it forces me to stay out of isolation, which for me, tends to lead to depression and anxiety. I also find that I'm in a happier space when I'm helping other people instead of focusing all of my energy and attention on my problems. I totally understand that this approach isn't for everyone. Best of luck on your journey, no matter how you choose to share it! You can and will get through this!! Oh and since you’ve already told people, just set clear boundaries like, “I appreciate your support, but right now I just need some time to myself.” Most normal people will understand and respect that lol

HPFULL

thanks :

Runrcrb

100% normal

Suggestion - if you’ve told a bunch of people or word has just spread, save your energy by setting up a page on caringbridge. Make it the place you share updates and point people to it. They opt in and you don’t need to repeat the same news.

HPFULL

thanks Runrcrb good suggstion

TB90

I insisted on being alone. I drove myself in winter conditions to all my radiation appointments alone and whenever I feared bad news, then I really wanted to face it alone. As a social worker, I encourage support during challenging times. But some of us need the absence of having to worry about others and the clarity that being alone can bring. I think I have ADD and being alone allows me to to focus solely on me. I even kicked my husband with the worry written all over his face, out of my room just prior to my surgery. All that really matters is that for once, we do what we need.

DiagnosisDisruption

I second the CaringBridge site. The last thing I wanted was to have to talk about my cancer when it was someone else's choice. So in the first Caringbridge post, I said No Phone Calls, No Visits unless I request it. CaringBridge made it so I could say what I wanted people to know - once. I was selfish with my time and mental health right out of the gate .

HPFULL

Thanks @ Anniescouch. You are all making me feel so much better

CindyNY

HPFULL- I did my biopsy alone. I was dx at my gyn office, alone. I did 16 accelerated rads, alone. I just didn't want to deal with someone else's feeling, my own were enough. We're all different, you do what's best for you. HUGS to you.

Sjacobs146

Totally normal. Other than my husband and mother, I told no one until the night before my lumpectomy. Even then, I only told people on a need to know basis, I didn't post it on FB or anything like that

Sara536

I'm still doing this alone. I've had lumpectomy and radiation. It's been almost 3 yrs. I live alone but visit family in another state often. If and when the time comes that I need help, I'm afraid that some people may be mad at me for not “sharing" sooner but, you know? I really do enjoy not being thought of as a cancer patient or as someone who is somehow obligated to keep everyone informed. I don't see anything wrong in trying to hang on to that as long as possible. I'd at least like to wait until my grand daughters get through puberty so they can appreciate their changing bodies without worrying that they might someday turn against them. I have no trouble asking for help around my upcoming hip replacement surgery, so I hope that will be proof enough that I love and trust my children enough to ask for it.