Regaining my self confidence again (F19)

marieiida

I was recomended on reddit to join a breast cancer group to help me go through this.so i will be reposting what i said in my last post.

hello, I've been wondering how do some of you gain your self-confidence and have better body image about yourself. I've been through multiple life threatning surgeries that never really affected me emotionally until I had surgery for breast cancer. After that, I felt as if I lost everything that defined me as a woman. I've become more bitter about everything at a point it's affected my socialization between friends and my relationship. holding resentment for the smallest of things and crying for almost anything. I really don't want to be this bitter anymore, I hate feeling like this. I'll be going to therapy as well soon but I feel as some change also has to come from within me as well. I wanted to know some tips to be able to love yourself because after this I've had a tough time finding myself as likable as I was before. I miss my old body and I just really want it back. I know looks are something that degrades over time but I really wish I was able to enjoy it for the time I had it for. I wish I understood how those other cancer stories I've read online on how positive of a mindset they have. It makes me almost envious how they're able to keep their composure and I cant.

Moderators

Marieiida,

We're so sorry you haven't had any responses yet -- we're hoping our post will "bump" your topic back into Active Topics and encourage others to stop by and support you. We know you're not alone in these feelings, and many others here have surely been through similar experiences.

We hope this helps and that you get great support soon!

Big hugs,

--The Mods

Aussie-Cat

marieiida, I'm sorry that you're struggling so much, but it's understandable. You've been through a lot and it's natural to grieve for the things that you've lost. Even though you have lost a lot, I would like to suggest that it's your personality deep down that makes you a woman and not whether you still have breasts or not (I'm not sure what kind of surgery you had). I hope you can find some creative ways to dress so that you can find ways to still feel feminine. Since having my prophylactic double mastectomy without reconstruction, I've been exploring new ways of dressing and it gives me something more enjoyable to focus on. Above all, please be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for your struggles and don't expect yourself to be like some "positive" people who may not be as sensitive as you are or may be in a different situation.

CaliKelly

Hi marieiida, I get your feelings! I don't think it's unreasonable, but please don't let it ruin your enjoyment of life! I'm a former fitness trainer, health and fitness was my whole way of life, so I was actually kind of arrogant you might say about my good health.Known, and (and hated ,say my girlfriends and sisters!😉😄) for my very fit body. Always lovingly chiding my relatives and friends about bad habits, smoking, drinking, no exercise. Don't want to get cancer, I'd say! So, then ,who gets cancer? Me! There goes that moral authority 😂. Anyway, the challenges of regaining strength, health and looks! very familiar to me. Don't give up, get thee to a gym, or class or physical therapy, even if we can't look the same, we can feel the satisfaction of overcoming challenges that others can't really imagine! Exercise to me is like a therapeutic drug.Ive gone thru multiple surgeries, first thing I ask Docs, when I can I get back to the gym? Believe me it helps, mentally and physically to feel in control of getting back to"you".Best wishes !! Don't give up, you can get it back!

Meow13

I suffered terribly after mastectomy but my DIEP surgery fixed much of my emotional pain. I love the tropics and swimming in the ocean. I can do it and look good in a bathing suit that helped alot. But I do feel a little sad inside that I had to have all that surgery. I am 60 and still care about my looks.