Starting the journey...

Dovely

I was just diagnosed on Tuesday with IDC and DCIS. I'm 42. I have a benign fibroadenoma that has cancer around it...? It was a bit confusing for the pathologist so results took a bit longer than usual. It has a lot of “good things" going for it, positive for hormones, negative for her2, well differentiated. Surgeon thinks lumpectomy, radiation, inhibitors. But, I have super dense tissue so they are doing an MRI before surgery. There is another area on the other side of the breast she wants to look of low concern but that makes me nervous. She said grade 1 cells, and presumably stage 1 but that won't be sure until after surgery. I have been on a rollercoaster of coarse, but am handling it better than I expected. I'm doing genetic testing as well, only BC was my great grandmother who died at 50. Super confident in my surgeon, she's awesome. During the waiting for results process (can otherwise be termed "hell" or "absolute torture"), I refilled a dormant prescription I had for Valium after being off of it for 6 months (I would take it as needed for panic attacks and anxiety) and it's helped me cope as well. Whatever works!! I think also you just find your own strength, tap into it. I also have been really feeling the love from my family and friends. I am super nervous for all the new tests and results I have to wait for but I am trying to be positive and take one thing at a time.

kells2357

Hi Dovely,

I too am newly diagnosed, also IDC. On Monday the 8th. A date I will always remember now. Words I have always been afraid of actually..Female cancers have always run rampant through my family unfortunately. Both sides have been affected. My mother lost her battle with breast cancer in 2001. She was diagnosed at 43, and passed at 53. I am 43 now. For years I was scared to do the gene testing (and also financially unable to). Only pretty recently did insurance companies begin to pay for it, and consider it 'preventive' instead of 'preexisting'. I have religiously been getting mammograms since I was 30. Anyway, my gynecologist took the blood samples and sent them in. That was about 4 months ago. About a month later, I was in for my annual checkup, and he informed me that I in fact had tested positive for BRCA1, with a 48.5% probablilty. That alone was a lot to come to terms with. That is basically a 50/50 chance. So, after many days of thought and talking with friends and family and doing my own research, we decided to move forward with a preventive double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I even had my consult with the plastic surgeon.

It took a lot for me to be okay with that decision. But I was. It was better than getting cancer I thought. So, one of the pre-op tests was a breast MRI. A few days after the MRI was done, my doctor called me back and said it showed something that needed further evaluation. So he ordered a breast ultrasound. When I went for that, they ended up doing a biopsy right then. Well, Monday was when I heard the words. The C word. Yuck. I freaked out, left work, cried with my sweet husband for a couple of days. Had my first meeting with the general surgeon on Wednesday. He is wonderful. He spent over an hour with me. Talking, explaining, answering questions. This coming Monday the 15th, I have another consult with the plastic surgeon. I haven't seen an oncologist yet, I have been approved and I know who the doctor is, they just haven't called me for an appointment yet.

It's crazy and miraculous at the same time to think that if I hadn't planned on getting the girls chopped off to PREVENT cancer, I wouldn't have known that I already HAVE cancer! By the way, the mammo I had in August was 'perfect'......

I am sure you understand my emotions..You have the same ones! You are actually the first 'stranger' that I am sharing my story with. Someone who understands exactly where I am coming from, at this moment. This is actually my first time on this site or any type of forum!

Kelly

Moderators

We are sending hugs to both of you amazing women. Indeed, one day at a time. Kelly, you have quite an amazing story. It's pretty amazing how this has all unfolded. We Mods are here for you all.

kells2357

Mods,

Yes it is amazing. The things I am reading here are so helpful and inspirational. My admiration goes to every woman here

Dovely

Hi Kelly, your story is truly amazing and the first thing I thought was thank goodness you went in to do the procedure when you did! That's what I keep going back to thinking about with my diagnosis. It's amazing that I was able to find this when I did. It helps me to feel positive. I had gone to my Obgyn for an annual, thinking that I was going to get a mammogram right after. My doctor did a manual exam and felt a lump and some changes on my left side but "wasn't overly concerned" but she urged me to get a mammogram to look at it and because I was due for a baseline anyway. Well that's when the process of finding my cancer happened.

I do relate to all the feelings you are having. It does seem to be more manageable after the ball starts rolling in answering questions and deciding treatment. I am scheduled for an MRI on Sunday, which will be discussed with my surgeon on Monday and that will determine some surgical options. Also, I will be getting genetic testing back in 10 days. My great grandmother died of BC at age 50 (which I didn't know until all of this happened!!) which is pretty far out but still could pose a genetic risk. So we'll wait and see.

My biggest fears right now are the possibility of Chemo (which the surgeon says she doesn't see at this point), but you never know what may turn up as this continues to progress and after surgery. I'd rather not lose my breast(s), but if that's the best option I am also totally ok with that. I'm not that attached to them, and especially if they are trying to hurt me!!

I hope you are being kind to yourself and letting the people that support you give you lots of love. Having faith in my surgeon and medical team has been helpful for me as well. My husband has been amazing and strong, but we've been giving each other "permission" to have emotional or panicky moments and just do whatever we need to help each other cope when we need it.

Glad you found this forum, as am I. It has been very helpful during this process and I expect it will continue to be during treatment.

Thank you mods for the hugs, you guys are amazing and thank you for all that you do!

Dovely

Side note: My daughter, whose 9, when I told her, very honestly about what's going on (sparing her the grim worst case scenarios, or course) listened intently and asked after I explained that they would be taking the tumor out, "Do you get to keep it?" haha.

Finding ways to laugh is good. Life has to go on.

Anonymous

Hi Dovely,

I"ll echo what I wrote to Kells at another post: welcome to the club none of us wanted to join. I'll simply say that this is was the best place I could have found for support and information. Whatever your treatment plan is, you'll find other discussion boards where you'll find what I did: kindness, encouragement, good outcomes, great information for treatment and treating side effects from that treatment, and everything else you'll need to navigate through this chapter of your life. It's only a chapter, and not the epilogue, so try to remember that. It sounds like you have the "best" of a bad dx: grade 1 and stage 1. Try to find the good in the bad; I really had to stretch to do that sometimes, but it helped to reframe the hard cold facts into something I could feel more hopeful about.

One thing: I was careful who I talked to in the beginning. I found so many people wanted to share horror stories about their own family member or friend who had a similar dx and although they were well-meaning, they weren't helpful. I only wanted to know about women who were years out from their dx. Just know that oftentimes well-meaning people can really throw us off and turn a positive feeling into a negative one.

Your story about your daughter made me think of what I did with my port after chemo was over and my surgeon removed it: I asked him to let me have it. I used it as the basis for a 3D shadow-box piece of art that told the story of journey through cancer dx and treatment. My surgeon was a good guy and didn't think I was crazy

Hugs

Claire in AZ

Beatmon

Welcome to both of you ladies. Kells, I would consider meeting with oncologist before having surgery. You may be a candidate for chemo prior to surgery if you are going to need chemo. Don’t rely on the office to call you...go ahead and call them.

Yellow15

stay positive and strong you are not alone on this journy....trust in god lat your family and friends be there for support and to help when needed...it got me thru my journy...i had 4 rounds of chemo and 20 radiation treatments....was diagnosed with triple negative bc....im all finished treatment and they removed the tumos ...yes it was one that i found but when they went to removed it ...there was another which was 2.2cm....the first was 1.1 cm....im blessed and back to workng and doing rwgular routines...this forum got me thru the hard times...ile keep you in my prayers😊😊

Dovely

Hi Claire, thanks for responding. I think you’re totally right- discretion with who you tell is good. I have told close friends and family so far, who have not given me anecdotes, and a few people at work, although I know that grapevine will travel. Hopefully people will have the sense not to say things that they shouldn’t. It was kind of the same with pregnancy, not as scary of course, but you’re a few weeks from delivery and people tell you about “what happened to their cousin” and you’re thinking “thanks”.

During the “why me?” And feeling sorry for myself moments I try to dig deep and be grateful to myself that I went in when I did and my doc sensed something wasn’t right and caught it early.

I think it’s cool you saved your port. Totally something I would do too. :

sparrowhawk

Hugs, Dovely. Thinking of you and all here!

Dovely

Thanks sparrowhawk! Hugs back at you Hope you are finding strength during this process.

Kalonis52

Hi Dovely, First, I just want to say sorry for your recent diagnosis. I was diagnosed with IDC in 2006. I was 40. It was nerve racking at first, but, the reality sets in and you can get thru it. Dovely, yes it is a long journey. All my treatment with the Reconstruction was 1 year. I did start on Anti-Anxiety Medication to help me with all the Anxiety. Among, all the Pain killers I was taking. ha. Now, that you know where you stand with your diagnosis, you will be able to move thru it all. Some days bad, and, others are good. Just take one day as it comes. It gets better each day. I spent a lot of my time educating myself on my diagnosis, and, learning so I could educate others. I spent a lot of my time on here helping others. You tend to lose a little self confidence having been diagnosed, and, educating myself and others helped me a lot in gaining that confidence back. It kept me busy to. ha. My Motto I always went by, and, I still do, is "Keep Your Faith, Keep your Hope, and, Keep Your Strength". Each day I told myself this. And, kept myself Positive. It did help me in my long battle. You will be just fine Dovely. Remember, to drink lot's and lot's of water during your Chemotherapy or even Radiation treatments. I always kept that water bottle filled and next to me. It helps flush your body of the Chemo etc. And, rest a lot. That will be the best medicine. Keeping coming back here, so, we all can help you get thru your long Journey. Your not alone honey in this. Keep Positive and Blessings to you!

Kaloni