Freaking out! I know it’s early but....if there are options

gnoz8

I'm 11 days out from pbmx, dti, over the muscle teardrop gummy bear implants, with alloderm. While I think they look pretty good so far, I'm not comfortable with the implants yet and I'm scared I'll never will be and never feel “normal" again. They just seem big and hard and in my way....just kind of all around gross. I've been pretty upset by and mourning the loss of my breasts way more than I anticipated, too. Maybe it's too early to tell, but it makes me feel better to have plan B in my back pocket.

....my questions....

Anyone ever not been able to adjust to implants and had them removed for a flap? If so, did you regret it? Glad? Were the multiple surgical sites worth the feel of “flap" breasts (instead of implants)? I'm not sure I would be a candidate, maybe if had multiple harvest sites. How does insurance handle that situation- a"redo"? I would consider NOLA, but not sure if they accept BCBS as in-network? I have so many questions and am freaking out a bit...okay, a lot.

Thanks for taking the time to read this...i don’treally “fit"anywhere and am not sure who to ask for advice....didn't have BC, but am 43 yrs. and it seems like the other pbmx ladies are younger

gaspasser

Gnoz8, 11 days out is still pretty early. Although the feelings you describe may or may not change. I had a BMX and it was basically prophylactic. Although my original implants (TE to implants -anatomical aka gummy bear) were under the muscle perhaps I can still help answer your questions.

At first my implants felt firm, annoying, and completely foreign -even after having the TE for almost a year. The implants didn't feel soft to me the way other women described their new implants once the TE were out and exchanged (I know yours were direct not TE but still...implants). In time however, my right implant did soften and become something I was much more comfortable with. It took a few month's, perhaps 3-6 ? I lost my left implant due to infection about a month out and have been unsuccessful in clearing that infection for 2 years since.

In regards to your question about insurance covering "redo" ..I believe if I'm not mistaken if the surgery is a result of reconstruction due to your mastectomy (prophylactic or not prophylactic) it will be covered. Your redo of a flap or something siimilar would fall into that category and be covered. We attempted another TE after waiting several months after I lost my implant to infection....and it was covered. Not that this pertains to you directly, but I also had a consult through NOLA recently because I need a flap of some sort to cover the deficit on my left chest after my infection. And that would be covered by insurance as well. (Of course certain drs are in or out of network, etc) They were lovely to work with and can provide you with helpful information to go with even if you decide to stay local and not travel to have them do surgery.

At the end of the day I will end up with flap procedure on one side (after a failed implant due to infection) and a remaining implant on the other. I've been lopsided for about 2 yrs now while I've dealt with this infection. In that time my right implant went from one I hated and felt firm and foreign, to something I really don't notice much anymore. It has softened. It still looks like an implant to me, and there is some rippling because I'm quite thin. But I'm happy it's there. I don't regret for a moment having it. But i can understand how someone might have chosen to get rid of theirs after the fact. It's quite a personal choice and after some time passes you'll know if you like yours or not. The right answer will be what feels right to you.

I am disappointed I will need a flap procedure after all this time has passed. But I need one to close my chest wall. After talking to numerous centers (NOLA included) my option is a lat dorsi. I won't get into the debate about lat dorsi and the pros and cons, because for me this is the choice. And only choice. It's not for recon but for closing an open chest wall deficit. So the situation is quite different. Even with that being said, I'm not afraid of the flap procedure because we are going to do everything to try to have the best outcome possible. And at the end of the day I will be happy with both the flap and an implant. I guess I'll be a hybrid, eh? We will make the best of what we have to work with.

I wish you the best of luck. I'm sorry you have had to go down this route. It still feels like a loss whether prophylactic or not. I'm sending you a gentle hug. And I think if after sometme you still hate your implants, do what you need to do. Flap, DIEP, visit NOLA, get several opinions. Do whatever makes you comfortable in the long run. 43 is young! But heck so is 63! You deserve to be happy with what you can control no matter what your age 😊. Sorry this was so long winded. But NOLA was great for a consult and your insurance will cover a redo if who you decide to go with is in network.

Hang in there!

gnoz8

gaspasser- First things first, you have the absolute best screen name in the history of all screen names ever created. Ever. I love it to pieces.

I cannot express how grateful I am to you for your responses (including the response to my other post about sensation/feeling normal with implants). I really, really needed to hear your words this morning. Thank you for taking the time to craft such a heartfelt response and to share your experience with me. You have definitely brought me much more peace with my situation. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am so sorry your road has been so long. My mother is a breast cancer survivor (2004, stage 3b, no recurrence!! Woot!!!). She had similar issues with one of her implants as well. She had radiation on the troublesome side, and an implant simply would not adapt to the situation. After several attempts she also had a lat flap. She’s also very thin. It was the best choice for her,and she’s happy with the decision. Also...she has regained all sensation almost everywhere. She says she doesn’t even remember or notice as it was happening. It took a long time, and said she was too busy running the chemo, multiple surgeries, radiation, tamoxifen route to notice as it was happening. I’ll be sending you warm thoughts and positive vibes!!