Beginning stage breast cancer treatment

Worriedmom18

Hi, Im a mom of a transgender daughter in her early 20s. A few weeks ago she called me and told me she had breast cancer. She said it was in the beginning stages and it would be easily treated with a chemo pill. I cried on the phone but she seemed so unworried. She said she was going to make it public on facebook.

A few minutes later I saw her post on Facebook. It was pretty vague and just said "im drunk and I want to get it out I have cancer." I responded with a heart and said your dad and I will be there for you. Within a couple minutes my post was erased and I was blocked from seeing it. I called up crying and asked why she blocked me and erased my comment? She said it was because I was too emotional before. I thought anyone would be emotional and cry... Right? Its a normal reaction. I knew she had blocked me because I could see from my sons account. I offered her to come live with us and said I will take care of her and we would try to buy a larger home. We live over 1000 miles apart and because I cant be there as I have other kids at home. She declined to come home and so I offered to pay for the meds which were expensive. She declined. I offered to pay for ubers to treatment and was told no again. I said that we would come up and visit and she said that would be fine but I couldn't attend dr appointments. I asked questions like the name of the meds, she couldnt tell me the name so I googled it and its called cytoxin. I asked if thats what she was taking and she said yes.

I asked for details and she told me nothing accept it was beginning stage breast cancer and the cytoxin will make it go away but she may have to take it for a year. I asked about surgery and she said they were just using the cytoxin alone. She said her dr appointment wasnt for a month.

Fast forward 2 weeks I asked if she had gone to the dr for the cancer (knowing she already said 1 month till the appointment) she said she had gone the other day and then she was silent. I asked how it went and she said fine. They were very vague answers. I asked if they had done imaging and she said yes and it was the same.

Its now been a few weeks and she has buried the cancer post on facebook with about 50 funny memes or about how shes getting drunk again. Not a word about this terrifying condition known as cancer. She said she has gotten a raise and a better position in the place she works. More hours and more responsibility. My sons tell me that its all selfies and alcohol related posts on social media. My mother in law and sister lives close by her and offered to help her but she declined.

Shes been nothing but distant after always having regular calls. Shes pushing help away and doesnt seem to be taking breast cancer seriously with all this partying. Plus working all the time. Things arent adding up.

So this is my question. Is taking cytoxin alone, sufficient for early breast cancer? I dont really think her being trans has anything to do with the way they treat it. Breast cancer is breast cancer. Also is taking it for a year straight standard protocol?

We are very worried but at the same time are cautious to believe as are other family members. Shes very dramatic and often checks into hospital on Facebook. Shes not really saying much about it. Im scared my other kids are scared. My husband is worried because its like we are behind a piece of glass watching this unfold but are not given any info. We just lost 2 family members to cancer in the past couple month. We did hospice as a family and watched my step dad slowly suffer with this terrible disease. He just passed at the end of June.

Maybe just words of advice and wisdom are what we need right now.

Thanks, worried mom

ElaineTherese

Well, I don't know the particulars of your daughter and her situation. But, you do seem like a concerned Mom. Most early stage breast cancer is treated with surgery. If your daughter did nothing but get her lump surgically removed, she would have taken care of 70% of her recurrence rate. I'm not sure where this chemo pill thing is coming from. I had Cytoxan, but it was an infused chemo taken simultaneously with Adriamycin. There are chemo pills like Xeloda, but they are typically prescribed for Stage IV or metastatic breast cancer.

I wonder whether your daughter really does have breast cancer or is just seeking attention. But, you know your daughter better than I do. Best wishes!

exbrnxgrl

Hello,

I am sorry that you are going through this situation. We are not doctors and none of us is treating your daughter. However, not having surgery, mastectomy or lumpectomy, would be highly unusual though having no medical expertise, I can’t say this never done. With apologies, I am inclined to say that there seem to be some inconsistencies in your daughters story. Clearly, a cancer diagnosis is a scary and emotional time for both patients and families so expected behaviors are not always present. Wishing you, your daughter and your family the best

Worriedmom18

Thank you all for your answers. Things really dont add up. I had pre cancer cervix cells at 17 and had a biopsy and a surgical procedure as soon as possible. They treated it quickly and efficiently as it has not come back. It was a LEEP procedure.

As far as my daughter, I was a married 17 yo kid who was pregnant with my daughter. This is why the cells were found actually. She kinda saved me I think. Anyway my mom took over and over rode any decision my husband and I made and it wasnt until I had my son, at 24, that I was allowed to be a mom. She didn't really spend time with my other kids. This is where the strain comes from plus my moms personality completely changed as she has dementia. To be honest we have a better relationship since she doesn't remember anything but my daughter is missing her "mom" (my mom) who lives close by us now. I think thats what this is. I didnt want to deny her claim of breast cancer and I may never know the truth but I can rest knowing it is probably not breast cancer. Thank you and I will update. God bless. Worried mom.