After treatment for my 4th cancer I had a cancer scare.

Scarlett1

I have had a total - so far of 4 seperate cancers. Two were different types of breast cancer. All earlier cancers had been in my left breast. In 1997 I had Stage 1 Grade triple negative cancer with a lumpectomy, radiation and chemo. I had two years of infection following my first breast cancer. I am diabetic and am prone to get infections. One of them was c diff. Eventually they opened me up to the chest wall and my partner (now my wife) inserted medicated gauze twice a day for a number of weeks so it would heal from the inside out. In 2003 - just as I was about to celebrate 5 years cancer free, I was diagnosed with uterine and fallopian cancer. These were two separate cancers - not mets - they even sent slides to Stanford to double check because it was just so weird. So - more surgery - complete hysterectomy and chemo - bald again. Then on 2016 I went in for a routine check up. They had been getting a bit further apart as I was doing so well. This time, however, my tumor markers were elevated. My onc sent me out for a battery of tests and told me - "Yeah, it is cancer - malignant. We will have to treat it. More surgery (really great surgeon - no issues with this one), more radiation, more chemo - bald again. Stage 1 Grade 3.5. I lost a lot of weight during chemo and had a taxotere overdose that gave me hand and foot syndrome. I started out before treatment with diabetic neuropathy - mostly just a bit of numbness. I ended up feeling like I was walking on razor blades after the taxotere reaction. I have tried a bunch of drugs with varying success but it hurts to walk - every single step hurts.

So, I finished treatment and I was a bit overdue for my annual mammogram so I went in for one and they found a "suspicious area" in my good breast. All cancer had been in my left breast but this was my right. I had a mammogram guided biopsy that hurt like hell and bled for over an hour and bruised like crazy... but - good news - all was benign.

This got me thinking, however. I do not want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop so I am scheduled for s double mastectomy. As I am so prone to infections, I am electing to just go flat - No reconstruction at all. I do not want her to even try to save the nipples (I am a very large breasted woman and there is some doubt as to if she could even save the nipple if I wanted.)

I would probably get some comments about what I will say next but.... I have always had very large breasts. they have been the source of many jokes. I have gone out many nights wearing a bustier and a jacket and showing the girls off... I was always outgoing and could really work a party and much of my humor and reputation centered around my big boobs. Some of you may find that offensive - it just is the way things were for me, however. I was a stripper in my late teens - not a sex worker - just a dancer. Many of the other girls were convinced I had had my breasts worked on because of the size. So, as you can probably tell, my breasts have played a big part in my life. I have had a much smaller left breast for 20 years and I am now turning 65 with a partner of 25 years who is ok with my decision to go flat. I am convinced the less "messing around" we do the less likely I am to have infections. I made up my mind soon after the false alarm from my mammogram and have stuck to it.

I must confess that I am having a few second thoughts about going flat. I strongly believe it is the most reasonable thing to do. My diabetes is sure to make me have infections if I do any reconstruction. But there is a "little girl" part of me that is thinking, "Hell No... I will be making a big mistake" She is silent most of the time but she speaks up from time to time. Surgury is coming up pretty fast so I am going to proceed with the double mastectomy and go flat. If I can't handle it, I suppose I could have some sort of reconstruction down the road but there are reasons, already stated, why that would be a bad idea.

I believe in the power of prayer so if you are so inclined, I would appreciate you keeping me in your thoughts. Surgery is August 29. I turn 65 on August 30... Someday an angel will take me home. I am just hoping she is in no hurry as I still have a lot of living to do.

Sorry for the long post - Feedback is appreciated.

wallan

Hugs to you.

If it were me, I would have the double mastectomy and enjoy a new chapter in my life.

You have endured alot already so I believe you have the inner strength to endure this too.

Hope everything goes as planned for you.

wallan

Scarlett1

Thanks, Wallan. A brand new concept.... I have been afraid of what I might lose when there is more to be said for what I may gain in this process. Much less pain from earlier surgery. Far less worry about recurrence... A chance at a more :normal" life where the girls are not at the center of my world... It is a whole way of looking at things. You may have made a huge change in my future outlook. Thanks Kindly!!!

Legomaster225

Scarlett1, it seems like you have really thought through this and weighed the options, outcomes and possible risks. Based on what you wrote I would have the BMX as well. You already had issues with infection and healing in the past so it seems to make sense to not want to risk it with implants.


Disclaimer: I did a BMX myself because I didn’t want to be chasing cancer every year. My breasts are/were very small though so different from you in that respect. I guarantee you nobody looked at me because of my breasts. Choosing the BMX was a good choice for me as there was cancer in my “clean” breast as well.

Your partner sounds very supportive, even from the beginning of your troubles. That will not change. Prayers for an uneventful surgery.

NancyD

You can usually have reconstruction later, if you change your mind. I initially had a BMX and did not have recon for two years while I weighed my options. Staying flat was one option, although I eventually decided to go with DIEP flap recon. Don't think you have to make the final decision now about it. Go ahead and have the BMX to ease your worry.

exercise_guru

Wow what a long and difficult journey to go on. I agree with what others suggested. Don't feel rushed. I think it is well worth it to just have the DBL Mastectomy and wait for awhile. Then if you choose to go flat flat you can have a plastic surgeon do a proper job the way that you would like. Get a good breast surgeon and make sure they send everything to the lab to verify it. Ask the surgeon to do the cleanest job possible to minimize dog ears and ensure that you end up with the best appearance either way. I have read that healing is far better not doing immediate reconstruction.

The question is what about neuropathy and lymphodema. You might need some more information from your surgeon before making this decision.

KBeee

I think you are make nova wise, we’ll thought out decision. You may find many things easier (and less back pain) without the girls. I believe there is an active thread called flat and fabulous. I know of a few people who are active there. The 3 gals I know who made the same decision as you are happy with it

mustlovepoodles

Scarlett, I had a PBMX after chemo in 2016, due to having two gene mutstions which would surely cause me trouble down the road. My PS decided to do a little one step reconstruction, which mostly died and turned out terrible. I ended up flat with small ugly lumpy mounds of flesh distributed around my chest (which the PS thought looked perfectly fine. Ugh.) At first, I thought I could live with it. I was almost 60, after all. Who needs breasts at 60?

Well, apparently I do. After 2-1/2 years of camouflaging the flatness and wearing silicon prosthetics. I decided to get reconstruction. I had DIEP Aug 17 in NOLA and they look beautiful.

If I had diabetes, I would not choose this surgery. It is MAJOR major surgery, with multiple surgical fields and potential for lots of complications. But that's not to say that other types of recon would be off the table. My surgeon feels that its never too late for recon. Reconstruction looks better when it is done immediatly, but I know of ladies who waited 8 and 12 years for their recon. And are extremely happy with their results!

Best of luck to you with this extremely difficult decision.

KBeee

My mom had UMX in 1992 with no reconstruction (not offered then. She had cancer in the other breast last year and had reconstruction on both and it looks great. It is indeed never too late if you change your mind.