I'm depressed

kamalokitty

My last chemo was in April. Last radiation in May or June. I don't know what to do now. I only know how to survive, I don't know how to live. I'm solo. Two cats and one dog. Daughter is in college, now studying in Europe. I want to date, but don't know how. Anyone else feeling more than blue? I know it's been a terrible thing we've all been through. I just kept my head up and did all the things they told me to do for the last six to eight months. Now I'm down to one appointment every year. I have ostopenia, but will be taking medication for it once or twice a year. Otherwise, I survived it. I just wish I could live now. But damn, I feel lost.

Georgia1

Oh, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. And if it helps at all, yes, many of us got into a temporary funk after treatment ended. For me it felt like the letdown after an adrenaline rush + a drastic change in routine + a real questioning of my life's purpose. So I think I get it. My only advice is to ask yourself two questions: what did I enjoy doing before BC? And what would I like to try that seems new and fun that I've been putting off? Whether it's joining a dog play group, or an exercise class, or a trip, anything you do in a group can be both a cure for the blues and jumpstart the dating. Hope that's somewhat useful and I certainly wish you the best on this journey.

Peregrinelady

Hi kamalokitty, are you on a antihormonal? Sometimes they can affect your mood. Also, we all are susceptible to a little PTSD from this diagnosis. After all of the interaction you have had during treatment, it can be difficult when you don’t have all those appointments. Now is the time to develop your plan for moving forward. Many people now focus on their health through diet and exercise. Maybe join a gym or reach out to friends to go for a walk. Everyone has to figure out their new “normal.” The more time you get away from treatment, the less you will think about cancer and hopefully will be able to find a way to move beyond cancer. There are many threads here that you might check out depending on your interests, as well. I have seen everything from art to quilting to bird watching threads. Take care

mustlovepoodles

I think a lot of us go through this after our treatment is finished. I did.. My DH went through it after he had open heart surgery and again after his more recent prostate cancer surgery. Studies have shown that serious or life-threatening illness can induce post traumatic stress disorder. Easy to believe, considering the enormous stress we all go through with this disease.

My DH recognized my symptoms first -listless, jumpy, trouble sleeping, trouble eating. I just wanted to sit on the couch all day staring at the wall. He took me to my doctor, who diagnosed me with PTSD within about 10 min. She put me on a course of Lexapro which started helping within about a week. Could i gave powered through without meds? Maybe. Eventually. But why would I want to live like that when there is something that will shorten the duration and ease my symptoms? I only needed it for about 6-7 months, but it really made a huge difference.

kamalokitty

Thank you all for your support. Yes I'm on Anastrazole now. It gives me a bit of heat waves in the face, but it seems mild. I don't have night sweats or anything. I think I am really just lonesome. Going through treatment, I was interacting with so many nurses, doctors, techs, all week, every week. I had someplace I had to be all the time, and I just survived it. And then it all just dropped off. I went to see my oncologist yesterday. Her office is at the infusion center. I watched all the new people going in to get infused, and that was my life for months. It was a weird feeling. I dreaded the infusions, but it was its own support group -- all of us going through it together.
I do have to move beyond this now. I have a trip to Europe planned in the next two weeks. I'll see my daughter, I'll be with my sister, and niece. I am hopeful this will help me turn the page, and that I can embrace life and just concentrate on that instead of just surviving.Thanks again.

AnxietyGirl85

I finished active treatment about just over two weeks ago (finished chemo in May, radiation in July), and I'm definitely in a funk, too. I have to get my life in order and get back to work soon, I'm getting pressure from my employer now, but I can't quite wrap my brain around it all yet, I feel a bit lost and adrift and afraid to think of the future and plan ahead because of this awful diagnosis. I don't feel like I'm ready to step back into my normal life just yet, but I also don't know if I can have any more time to get myself back on track, and it's all just so stressful, especially since I'm also dealing with this alone.

I do feel better knowing that I'm not the only one having difficulties moving forward after all of this, though, it makes me feel less broken and alone to know that, for some of us, this sort of struggle is part of the process and that there are ways to handle it and get back to living my life again.