Genetic Testing and Trying to Stay Strong for Mum

Stayingstrong818

I am not sure where to start. This year has thrown our lives upside down. My mum was diagnosed in April earlier this year with invasive ductal carcinoma. I'm told they are grade 3 aggressive cells. She is stage 2 at this time and waiting for mastectomy surgery in August and chemo afterwards. They only found the tumour in her left breast (first tumour) through a routine mammogram. She went through the lumpectomy and after recovering for two-three weeks she felt on her own a lump in her right breast. None of the previous mammograms or scans detected it. She felt it on her own and asked for her right side to be checked. She has just finished a second biopsy and is waiting for the results. From the second mammogram of her right breast, the shape of the tumour and the way it was growing outward, her oncologist and surgeon prepared her that it the likelihood of it being an aggressive type cancer is 95% but her test results will give the final answer. We are waiting for those results this week. They have already asked her whether she wants to proceed with another lumpectomy or a mastectomy. My mum has chosen this time to do a full mastectomy. It took a lot for her to come to this decision but she feels it's best for the long term. She's in her mid-60s.

I have been reading a lot over the forums for a week now (as a non-member) and decided to sign up today and have the courage to ask even though it seems so trite and the questions might be stupid. I really sorry if I am asking anything dumb or if this is the wrong place to ask. I am deep down terrified and have cried myself to work and back but my family sees me as the strong one. I don't show how deep it has affected me and only my husband has seen my sadness. My mum is small and frail and although she is very scared she has a strong faith. She keeps telling me to get a mammogram check and I asked my dr but he said that I am not within 10 years of the closest relative with breast cancer and I am not over 40 yrs old. (I am in my mid-30s) My brothers who are in the health field insist that I should get tested genetically but I am so worried over my mum and being there for them, especially our dad, that I don't know even how to go about this. My dr's wait time in the clinic is quite long and I often have to take half a day off work just to see him as I think his clinic is overburdened and overbooked often. The wait to see him is 2 to 2.5 hours. Since they turned me down for a mammogram, I'm discouraged and don't want to waste full day requesting for genetic testing. They never offered this to me when I told my family dr about my mum. I don't actually know if I am a candidate or if I would be approved for it or what to do. Perhaps it's not even a worry really. I would be doing it for my mum to ease her mind. My grandmother also passed away from cancer about 20 years ago (not breast cancer).

With all this going on, I'm having difficulty processing and I don't know if I am missing anything important. My mum is approved and recommended for chemo treatment in the fall after her mastectomy and she is also recommended for radiation in January 2019 after chemo. She said she was also told she would go for hormone therapy because her blood type allows that or makes it a reasonable treatment. I read on the forums that chemo is not for everyone, and sometimes radiation isn't for everyone. I am worried why the oncologist has created such an aggressive treatment plan involving chemo, radiation and hormone therapy and am hoping that my mum can take all this and be strong. I'm sorry for the long story. I guess I just needed to put this out there. If anyone can help set my thoughts straight or lend some courage, I'd be grateful. Thanks.