Breast Reconstruction disaster story

Krissi_Cat

Dear all

I live in the UK but have been so comforted to have found this site and some of your comments. I would be so so grateful for any advice. Please forgive the length of the post. Ill try and be as brief as I can.

Im feeling desperate and quite suicidal about the results so far. All treatment has been on the NHS. Due to a significant sized tumour in my right breast (although thankfully stage 1) I had a right mastectomy (skin sparing nipple sparing) with immediate reconstruction with an implant. I repeatedly requested a double mastectomy. This was for my peace of mind (close family history ) and also because I was completely convinced I would find the lop sided look too awful. This was turned down flat. Being still in shock and very frightened so near to my diagnosis and on my own I wasn't assertive or able to even think to ask for a second opinion.

I met the surgeon who was doing the reconstruction the same morning it happened. I knew instantly he wasn't taking in anything I said. I was sure he thought it was all about size where as I wanted symmetry and said I didn't mind a smaller implant (with a view to reducing the left breast at a later stage). He put in an implant that I believe was too large and which could not be reached by any blood supply from the chest wall - so it failed and I got an infection requiring its removal. He replaced this with an expander and I didn't see him for a further 6 months by which time the breast tissue such as it is has shrunk around the expander leaving a completely deformed odd shape. Also the breast itself is mottled as the nipple that was 'spared' was all part of the infection site. This includes other scaring. I now feel horribly deformed. The surgeon simply said oh we can just inject some saline into this and it will be fine - ignoring my distressed state and my friends questions. Increasing the saline will simply result in a ball shaped rather false looking breast and will be nothing like the left breast.

During this time Ive also been enduring horrible chemo and hideous cold cap ouch ouch ! .... due to end in Sept of this year.

But back to the reconstruction - I have found a few places in London Im investigating - all private and also found a place in New Orleans and spoken to a Dr. Sullivan - he was very informative and helpful and not at all patronising. I just wondered if any of you U.S. ladies might know about this place - ? I think there are some photos on this site actually that are from there.

I really thought I was odd or going mad until I read other posts of women feeling distraught and unable to manage post surgery - with feeling hideous. thank you so much if you have read this far - any comments or advice would be so terribly welcome.

I wish you all well and think you are all very brave.

Krissi Cat