Struggling after Recovery

mariettamom

I'm 44 and just completed a very trying few months (as well all have). Diagnosed with DCIS December 14, lumpectomy February 2, found out it was in 3/6 margins on February 9, bilateral mastectomy on March 2, reconstruction May 22. Getting areolas tattoo'd next Wednesday. I think part of my problem was being told DCIS was an "easy" cancer; the "best of the worst," then getting blindsided by the extensiveness of the treatment.

Throughout my surgeries and recoveries, I had amazing help. People were literally trying to beat each other for the slot who got to bring my family of four dinner. I had visitors whenever I was up for it.

Now during recovery I feel really alone. I'm trying to get back to life as normal, but have no sex drive and feel tired after my every-day doings (work full time from home, two young boys).

I want to get back to life as usual. I normally captain a neighborhood tennis team, but I can barely swing a racquet. I miss my "family" at the gym I go to. I just feel weak and ineffectual.

I know this stage of recovery is known to be tough. I just wanted to whine a little bit to a group of people who understand. Thank you for reading.

edit: grammar

Mucki1991

Here is what I do when I'm having a rough moment, day or week for that matter. I count my blessings I literally run the list of them in mind. I remind myself daily that no matter what new medical issue or pain I develop that it could always be worse. I also remind myself of others who have it far worse then me then I pull up my big panties and do something positive. I find that listening to others or doing something for someone else makes me forget about my issues long enough for my mind to relax. Some days I have to make a conscious effort to be happy and not get down about all of these things that are out of my control. The sex drive I get it since we are same age my BF is 7 years younger than me also.. Thanks to chemopause surgeries ect.. I think we have had sex maybe 7 times in the last year but what I have discovered is he's not going anywhere he is my rock and what we have is so much deeper than anything I could possibly imagine. Your not alone in your feelings and struggles. Every one us has had a dark day or days so we understand. This too shall pass.

Best Wishes for you