I cant do this.

Careninnj

I was diagnosed last week with IDC. They say its stage 1. Extremely small 7mm. Estrogen driven. No nodes are infected that they can see on ultrasound. I have an MRI next week to make sure its all good. But i have googled, checked this site and i have put myself into a complete panic. I keep reading statistics. And bad outcomes for woman that had stage 1. Co workers keep asking if i will need chemo, and inappropriate questions. I just want this to go away. I think about the cancer every nano secind of my day. I have lost weight cause i can't eat. Im just feeling very uneasy. Thank you for listening to me.

Caren

KathyL624

I was in a similar situation to you but mine was 8 mm. That was two years ago and while I still do worry a lot it is not as intense. Most of the time I feel ok. You are in the worst part...the beginning. Hang in there

Peregrinelady

Caren, you have a very good prognosis from the info you have given us as it was caught very early. Just ask for an Oncotype to be sure, but it is likely that you will not need chemo. Breathe, and realize that the odds are very favorable for you and you will make it through this just fine. And quit googling!

octogirl

hang in there. Most of us felt this way at the beginning; I know I did. The beginning really is the worst for many of us. It will get better once you have a complete plan. As for the co-workers, my advice is to tell them as little as necessary (I didn't even tell most of them that I had cancer, much less that I needed chemo. I let them draw their own conclusions from the hats and scarves, but most never asked me about it)...anyway, it may be too late if they've already been told, but just start smiling and saying 'everything is fine' when they ask. Over and over again if necessary. It may help fend off the inappropriate questions. Other than HR if you will be taking time off work, and perhaps your supervisor, no one needs to know at work. I'd make exceptions ONLY for co-workers you are close to and/or those you believe will be supportive (but you should know that some people react in unpredictable ways to someone else's cancer diagnosis, so you may find that some folks are either more or less supportive than you would have expected). For similar reasons, I'd be careful about which family members you tell: talk with those who you think will be supportive or feel close to. You can decide who to share the news with, and when.

Avoid google, at least until you have more information and a treatment plan. Much of the information you will find there is outdated. These boards are a better source of information. Find some threads that apply to you (folks having surgery around the same time as you, for example) and join in.

Also, tell your doc about your anxiety and lack of appetite. S/he can prescribe Ativan or something similar for you to take when the anxiety is too much.

And, the best thing I did: keep moving and exercising. It helps, even if you just walk around the block. There is a thread where we post daily exercise; you'd be most welcome there.

Please keep us posted once you have a treatment plan. We care.

Hugs! Octogirl

mustlovepoodles

You CAN do this. You can, i promise. Your cancer is very small and early stage. No one can guarantee any of us what the future holds, but early stage breast cancers are highly treatable. Breast cancer isn't a death sentence.

You're in that special hell right now, where you have a bit if scary information and no plan. Once you get past the MRI you'll know more. Your surgeon will help you determine your what type of surgery would be best for you. The oncologist determines the course of treatment, whether you would benefit from chemo and/or radiation. Most of us do not need chemo, btw. Since your tumor is estrogen responsive, they'll probably put you on a hormone suppressor, too.

As for your co-workers, they are being nosy busybodies. Your medical treatment is none of their business and you don't owe them one explanation. Tell them you don't want to talk about it.

If your distress is overwhelming, let your doctor know. Discuss with him/her whether a course of anxiety medication might help you get through this. Most of us find that our stress level goes down a bit once we know exactly what we're dealing with.

Big hugs to you. Let us know how it goes.

Careninnj

I really do try to stay off goggle. But its very hard. I am going to ask the doctor for meds. I wake up with a pounding heart every night thinking its a nightmare, but its not. Thank you all for your kind words. I will keep updating. My husband and i have a weekend trip planned for next weekend. My doctors said TO GO, im just worried i wont be able to have fun on it.

nonomimi5

Careninnj - Stress will make the cancer worse. If you want to get through this, keep busy and keep your mind off. You caught it early and it is curable and treatable. There is nothing to be worried about. Stress is one of the causes of cancer...just know that you're going to be fine.

JKL2017

Caren, I'm just here to echo what others have said. Your prognosis is good & you will feel much better when you have a plan in place. Take a deep breath & don't let this take over your life. Enjoy your trip & come back ready to fight. We're all in this with you!

Georgia1

Careninnj - go on the vacation. Please! Your stats are very similar to mine (I had a 7 mm and a 3 mm) and although it was not a fun four months, my lumpectomy surgery and radiation were really and truly over in four months. Now I have an excellent prognosis and only take a daily pill. Yes, it is scary as all get-out at first, but early stage BC is extremely treatable - maybe think of it like a broken leg as a way to make it less stressful? But for sure, ask your doctor for anti-anxiety meds if you need them, and please let us know how we can help.

Cindymb

Careninnj,

I know just what youre going through. The waiting for information is hellish. You will get through it. I promise. We are here for you.

Cindy

Rrobin0200

I feel your anxiety. I think we all do. This is the worst part of it all. The waiting. The what if’s. The results of additional testing. It’s been said before, but it’s so true. Once you have a treatment plan in place, you’ll feel more in control. Right now you have nothing definitive... and that is anxiety at it’s highest. I would suggest asking your doctors for an anti-anxiety med. believe me, it’s worth it.

Do not google. Rely on your doctors. I googled in the beginning, and everything I read was a death sentence. I wish I knew then what I know now. Dr. Google doesn’t have a real M.D. make sure you fully trust your docs. You’ll be fine. Wishing you all the best.

wallan

Hi:

Hugs and prayers to you. Being diagnosed with breast cancer is scary and it sucks. What you are going thru is entirely normal. It will pass. If you feel completely unable to cope, do not be ashamed to request ant-anxiety drugs from your doctor to tide you over.

I was diagnosed 14 years ago with a large 7 CM tumor and positive nodes. I am still here, cancer free. There is much hope.

As others have said, the odds are in your favor. You have a 90% chance or something of never getting breast cancer again.

But still, it sucks.

We are there with you in spirit.

wallan

Snickersmom

Caren - don't rely on Dr. Google or Dr. Bing. They are very generic and every case is different. I was ILC Stage 1A with a tumor a little less than 5mm. I did n't need chemo or radiation and you might not need them either. Your surgeonwill tell you wihat your options are and explain everything to you. He is the only one you should be listening to.

It's the not knowing that is so awful. Every one of us has been where you are and feeling what you are feeling. Tell your surgeon or primary how you feel and ask for something to take the edge off. I originally was on Xanax but then after my surgery, they switched me to Sertraline. I couldn't have gotten through this without them.

As for your co-workers, you decide who you want to tell and what you want to tell them. All of our friends and family knew and I was so thankful for all of the support I got, both before surgery, after, and now it's pretty much ongoing. Rely on those you want to trust with information and let them help you.

Best of luck; keep us posted. You will find a great deal of comfort from these pages. And remember = we've all been there.

An

Runrcrb

i echo everything posted above. Stay away from Dr Google and try to enjoy your trip. Realize that you read more horror stories and unhappy outcomes on the internet because the other women have gotten through their cancer diagnosises and are getting on with their lives. You will too.

Sounds like The cat’s out of the bag at work so take the advice above- smile, say thank you and that you’ll be fine. Saying it will hopefully get people off your back and will help you too. Don’t put it on Facebook if you haven’t already. The people that need to know will; most people don’t need to know.

You will get through this. You will. You’re in the hard waiting part but that too will pass and plan goes along way to alleviating fears.

beach2beach

Found out i had a 7mm cancer last year late july while headed to a concert for the weekend. Oh yes, did I google and cry. All weekend. Didn't tell anyone until right before surgery besides my sister. Tried to go through the motions of being normal around my kids etc. Worried about all the things we worry about when given a diagnosis like that. I'm here...almost a year later. You will be to. I didnt know about chemo until after surgery and had the Oncotype Dx test done and of course the sentinel node biopsy.

If you care to tell anyone, just say you will be doing whatever is necessary for you to do and that you are waiting for all the information. You appreciate their concern but you'd like to continue working and not think about it all day. (hard not to anyway but no one should add to it)

Glad you are going away. Do it. Staying home won't make you feel any better so better off trying to keep your mind off of it. Even a few minutes of every half hour of not thinking about it, is a relief. You will be ok.

Faithful76

I am going through the same here. I went in for my yearly checkup and firstime ever Asked for breast exam. My doctor checked she wasn't comfortable she asked me to go for mammogram and they found calcification. I also did biopsy and the report stated DCIS and invasive cancer. My MRI report came back 6mm and no lymph nodes affected. I am waiting to see the Specialist but the wait is unbearable. I told my immediate family and we have been praying and I can definitely say when I pray I feel happy and calm but there are days that I get panicky but God is in control. I have not said a word yet at work because I don't want people to ask me questions so I will wait until I see the Specialist.

Google is terrible it increases my fears but I feel not alone when I read all these comments. Thank you ladies.

Prairietwin2

I agree with everyone who has posted. Very scary at first, take one day at a time. I had chemo, rads, and now hormone treatment. They have all been doable. That was a year ago I finished chemo. Hardly any side effects. Talk to your Dr about any concerns and anxiety.

weimlover

You can do this. Get off the internet. Those statistics will absolutely fry your brain and your hope. I know becuase I routinely do what you’re doing! It’s so bad my husband tells me he will lock me out of internet priveldges like our preteen if I can’t stop looking.

I feel that way too sometimes. Especially the inability to find sometime anything else to concentrate on. I am so sorry. It’s our own brains that defeat us. What we want is peace but our thoughts keep looping.

I love this group. Which is why you should keep checking in as all these other encouragers tell you, we’ve all done it and probably will again but letting those scary stories take root will poison the hours and days you spend with them.

Now as I lie awake like a total hypocrite perhaps I should take the advice I just gave you. Stage 1 success rate 93%. You’ve got this

Trvler

You don't say if you have a doctor yet or what. Your stats are very good as far as having cancer goes. You didn't mention the grade. That size and no lymph nodes is HUGE! You are likely a candidate for lumpectomy and radiation and probably won't need chemo unless they find something else on the MRI.

.

Careninnj

thank you everyone for your encouragement. Today i had a bad day. I didnt eat anything all day. I reached out to a counselor at the hospital, shes been talking to me and helping. I have my MRI next thrusday. I let the bad thoughts take over, but not anymore. God will fullfill my days. And all the beautiful people on this sight.

Caren

msphil

hey sweetie we know your pain we be been there once your treatment plan is in place things will ease up some for some Inspiration to others like you going thru I tell them that Positive thinking and Hope with my Faith in God got me thru I am now a 24yr Survivor this yr Praise God.ms Phil idc stage2 0/3nodes chemo before n after Lmast got married cause we were making plans when found the lump in shower then 7wks rads n 5yrs on Tamoxifen.

edwards750

This is the only place I know where we are all here with the same disease in various stages and grades. We all truly have been where you are and are still here.

We will be your cheerleaders and a place to vent. Early on I did the same thing consulting every search engine known to man to find answers. Literally scared myself to death. Thing is the key word is “could be” not “is” necessarily. Of course when you are frantic and afraid you convince yourself it’s the worst case scenario. That’s normal.

I had early stage cancer too 7 years ago next month. Low Oncotype score that allowed me to dodge chemo. Grade 1. Lumpectomy and radiation. 5 years on Tamoxifen.

No need to remind you you can and will do this.

Diane

Laurenrw

Hey Caren. I was just diagnosed last week with IDC as well. I’m 30 years old. I’ve gone through stages of anger, sadness, and just feeling lost. But I try to only let it last for so long. Try and only take it each phone call and appointment at a time. Thinking about everything at once and everything to come is when I feel the most overwhelmed. Stay positive and try and stay busy with your normal routines in the mean time. I have my MRI on Thursday too. One more thing to cross off the list to beat this. We got this