Help for new-ish Stage 2 in an acute panic?

ruthstoops

Hi there - I'm writing on behalf of a friend who I believe is at an advanced stage 2. I don't want to ask her details at the moment because she is beside herself with terror. Her latest doctor told her that her chances of metastatic fatal cancer are 20 to 25 percent. I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how they got through the initial terror (or subsequent terror) phase. She has already had chemo (and it was very bad for her.) Then surgery. And now she needs more surgery etc. She is hoping to read something that will snap the terror spell.

moth

btw, stage 2 is still considered early stage breast cancer. But the fear is normal and real... I'd suggest a couple things.

first of all, focus on the other side of the graph. 75-80% of people will NOT have a fatal recurrence. Secondly, those stats are for 5-15 years. Research is improving and finding better medicines and treatments all the time. If it recurs in 15 years, we'll have better treatments. We'll deal with it then - no use in worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and odds are will not happen.

Lastly, I like to focus on things within my control. There are lifestyle changes to make. Maintain healthy BMI, definitely don't gain weight & most importantly: exercise.

"Physical activity can reduce breast cancer mortality by about 40% and has the most powerful effect of any lifestyle factor on breast cancer outcomes. • At least 150 minutes per week of physical activity is recommended" http://www.cmaj.ca/content/cmaj/189/7/E268.full.pd...

Reducing risk of recurrence by 40% sounds good to me!

Also, another study found that among breast cancer survivors, runners did better than walkers. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/i...

So - doing vigorous aerobic exercise is something that we should all be doing. As her friend, maybe you can be her exercise buddy?

Your friend may also need to see a counsellor to discuss her feelings of fear, mortality, changes in her life, focusing on what's important etc. An impartial trained mental health professional is invaluable imo.

You're being a really good friend to care for her & seek help for her.

best wishes ~

ruthstoops

thanks so much!! by "advanced" i meant only that i think it's at on the outer edge of stage 2. i don't want to reask to provoke the panic further. thanks again!!