almost 22 and afraid

ilovedogs007

Hi everyone,

This is my my first blog post but I've read so many post that have helped me with my nerves and I appreciate that so much.

A little background with what has been going on, I was sitting on the couch one day giving myself a breast exam and noticed a small lump on the outside of my right breast. I began to panic and had my sister feel it as well and she told me it felt like a lump and I began to cry. I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN and she sent me for an ultrasound and the technician and radiologist determined it was just tissue because they could see no lump at all (thank God). A couple days later i felt as though the lump went away and was calm ever since.

I since have been very paranoid about having breast cancer even though there is no history of it on both sides of my family. My mother's side does have a history of cervical cancer that developed into uterus cancer. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 17 and have been on birth control since I have also been over weight for majority of my life. I stopped taking birth control 3 days ago because I was feeling too many side effects but I am concerned that without birth control I will be putting too much estrogen in my body. I am also on metphormin to control my sugar and my PCP says I am very close to not being diabetic anymore.

After that ultrasound, I have been conducting self exams religiously and have been going to my OBGYN frequently because I am so paranoid. The last breast exam I had 3 days ago because I felt a large mass on the upper area of my right breast (near my armpit and chest), and she said that everything feels normal and the lumps I am feeling are simply fatty tissue.

A day later I was examining my breast in the mirror and noticed that my left breast looked like it was shaped differently and i lightly rubbed it without any pressure and could feel that there was a clear indentation on the outer side of my left breast where it looked like it was dimpling in. I immediately called my OBGYN and she seemed like she was sick of me and referred me to a general surgeon.

I went to the general surgeon today and she told me I have dense, lumpy breast but she felt nothing that is concerning to her. I asked her the difference between knowing what is a cancerous lump and what is my lumpy breast and she told me to do a 2 finger test and if the lump can move between 2 fingers and is not attached to anything then it is something to be concerned about. Now when I feel my breast i feel like all of the bumps are movable and not attached to anything and I am scared because I have read on google that having dense lumpy breast makes me more likely to get breast cancer.

I feel like my anxiety is through the roof and I don't want to take medication for it because my sister did and she said it ruined her mentally. I feel like I don't trust my body anymore and I don't like looking, or touching my breast anymore because I am scared of what I might find. I feel like doctors are getting sick of me but I am so scared that I am literally crying while typing this post lol. I know my mom is exhausted with my anxiety about getting breast cancer and I don't want to burden her with this anymore. I'm just feeling helpless and don't know what I can do to put my mind at rest even though both my doctors told me I am fine.

Sorry about writing a novel, I've just never shared these feelings with anyone. Any and all responses are much appreciated.

Polly_Ester

Dense, lumpy "fibrous" breasts are actually pretty common. Slight fluctuations in hormones can cause changes in these non threatening boob lumps.

But I commend you for taking charge of your health. If you ever feel worried, check with you doctor. If you genuinely don't feel satisfied with the treatment, find another doctor. A doctor you trust and who listens to you is very important.

Try not to worry, everything you said sounds normal, especially since your doctors are reassuring you it's normal.

Wishing you the best ♥

Beatmon

I had lumpy, dense busy breasts from 22 until 62. Try not to worry. You had a negative ultrasound which is a plus+. Continue your self exam....and I suggest talking to your Dr and explaining how fearful you are. Maybe the two of you can set a plan for rechecks and you can not worry in between. Best wishes

mustlovepoodles

You've had multiple exams by multiple doctors , all of whom agree that you have benign lumpy breasts. You do not have breast cancer. You have health anxiety. There is treatment for it, if you will avail yourself to it. Or you can just continued on the unproductive path you're on now. I wish you well.

ilovedogs007

Thank you so much! I feel like my OBGYN is exhausted with me asking her to check if the lumps I'm finding are normal, I might just find another doctor who will understand my concern.

ilovedogs007

@Beatmon Do you mind if I ask how you managed having dense lumpy breasts? I feel like every time i do a self exam at home I find some new lump and I start panicking. How did you differentiate between what were normal lumps and what were unusual?

AnimalCrackers

Ilovedogs007- regarding the 2 finger test you described in your post (I copied it below)

...2 finger test and if the lump can move between 2 fingers and is not attached to anything then it is something to be concerned about...

I’m not sure you were given correct information. It is my understanding as well as my personal experience that a lump that is immobile (attached to something) is something to be concerned about. My lump was hard and did not move. You have described all of your lumps as not attached to anything. Factor in your young age and having PCOS which causes your body to produce more male hormones you shouldn’t be concerned about these lumps.

You know your anxiety is through the roof so it’s a good sign that you recognize that. Don’t be afraid to deal with your anxiety. Your sister may have had a bad experience with her medication but that doesn’t mean you will. It will help you to cope with what is an unhealthy obsession with having breast cancer.

Wishing you the best

Beatmon

loves dogs....to be very honest I gave up. That all started at 22 years old. I had just had GB surgery. I’ve had thermography ( when it was the new hit thing) and maybe a million mammo. Only 1 biopsy 2 years prior to all the crummy stuff in opposite breast. Everything felt bad to me with personal exam...so I really did just quit

gb2115

You don't necessarily need medication to treat health anxiety. Think about seeing a psychologist or therapist to discuss your fears. You have had multiple exams and you are still worried---sounds like time for mental health intervention. I deal with anxiety and can tell you this only gets worse over time unless you deal with it.

AnimalCrackers

gb2115 is right. Meds are not necessarily the best route to take. Therapy may be the better option. Everyone handles their anxiety differently.

ilovedogs007

@Beatmon I feel like I am reaching the point of giving up. I went to see my general surgeon again and she told me to have another ultrasound, this time for my left breast so that is in a week. After this ultrasound I am just going to do my best to forget about this all and try and go back to how I was before. Thank you for all your advice, I truely means so much to me!

ilovedogs007

Thank you everyone for your advice! I am definitely going to look into ways to manage my anxiety! I have an ultrasound coming up in a week to please wish me luck. I am so grateful for all of you and your advice! God Bless!