World Upside Down and looking for some hope

KK2018

Woke up on 6/14 and noticed a large lump in my left breast. Immediately contacted my GYN. Saw him that afternoon. Had Mammo/Ultrasound yesterday 6/20. Scheduled US needle core biopsy for tomorrow 6/22 with pathology review on 6/27. The only details I have is that it is graded BiRads 5 and is in my UIQ 4.2x2.3x1.8 CM with some swollen lymph nodes in my arm pit. I just had my first really ugly cry. I turn 40 in a month and have a 10 year and 7 year old. I leave for a 2 week family dream vacation on 7/3. I'm in full on panic mode.

Moderators

KK, we're so sorry you're here and worrying. Try not to get ahead of yourself until you know anything for sure. We know it's easier said than done, but try to keep your mind focused on other things and stay positive!

We're all here for you, no matter the results -- but we're sending good vibes for benign biopsy results!

--The Mods

mustlovepoodles

I know how scared you must be. As you probably already know, BIRADs5 isn't good. 95% positive for cancer. But there are several women on the BCO boards who were BIRADs5 and their biopsies came back benign, so theres that. I will cross my fingers for you anyway and hope for the best. If it does turn out to be BC, just know that it is highly treatable. Breast cancer is not an automatic death sentence anymore.

Cpeachymom

kk- I was where you are almost exactly a year ago. My youngest was 1. If biopsy comes back positive for cancer, schedule your surgery, take a breath, and go on vacation anyway. The rest of this year will suck. I went on vacation a month after my mastectomy. But next year at this time, if all goes well, you’ll be doing ok.

It’s good that things are moving so quickly for you, because the waiting is awful! I’ll be hoping your biopsy goes smoothly and may you have a benign result. Please keep us posted.

exercise_guru

I remember I had some pretty ugly cries waiting for the biopsy results and. You were right to act quickly and that is very helpful that they went straight to an ultrasound. Here's the thing. I don't know how long your vacation is but from the time I found out to surgery was 3 weeks and mine was fast. If you do chemo fit's then surgery it is a bit different but unless you are Going for months ir will be ok.

If it does come back cancer then uou will find that making a plan along with a good dose of ativan goes a long way.

There is a stage where there is absolute terror on how you are going to do this but then the tough girl kicks in and you charge forword and fight the fight.

My kiddos were 10 and 8 so I get it. They will be ok. My family held together and my kids learned compassion from.the experience. It's not what any woman asks for but you are tough and you will get through this!

CarolAnnieLumpLump

I had my needle biopsy on June 1st. so I am a few weeks ahead of you. First of all the biopsy is not going to be bad at all in terms of the procedure itself. It hurt a little bit but just a few stinging pokes and it was over. Those days between the biopsy and results day are going to fly by and you will be getting your results before you know it. My GP gave me a prescription for ativan which has helped me a great deal in not laying awake at night letting my mind go to all the dark places. For me keeping busy during the day and taking the ativan at bedtime has been a saving grace. Someone on here told me when I first joined that all breast cancer is treatable. That fact has also given me a lot of relief from the fear. Take a deep breathe, it could be nothing and if it is something, it's so common that there are lots of treatments available.

gigibee

Sorry you find yourself here. The uncertainty you are facing right now is one of the hardest parts . Once you have definite answers and a plan it will seem manageable. Crossing my fingers it is benign but know that having all of the information , a plan and all of the knowledge and support onthis site will help you get through whatever happens next.

Rrobin0200

so incredibly sorry you’ve found yourself here, but remember, you’re not an official member of the “club” until the biopsy path report comes back positive.

As stated above, a birads 5 has a 95% probability of being malignant, but a 5% chance of being benign. You just never know. Hopefully, Like a few of our fellow members, you’ll find yourself in that 5%.

But if not.. BC is not a definitive death sentence. You will get through this. This waiting period is the worst... absolute torture. Once you get results, get a team together and get a treatment plan (if needed) in place, you will feel so much better.

You’ve got this. And we have your back.

KK2018

Thank you everyone for commenting. Had my biopsy on Friday which went fine. Really felt calm and peaceful about whatever may happen over the weekend but woke to crushing anxiety this morning. Currently obsessing about the size of my mass and lymph node involvement and how it took so long for me to discover it (or how it got so big so quickly). Not sure that any of it matters now but without any other info to go on it is hard not to lock on to every detail. Played in my daughters "parent v. kids" end of season softball game and of course over did it imagining that I wouldn't be doing it again any time soon AND got my period so I am sore all over, cramping and have an ugly bruised breast. Serious case of the oh-poor-me's over here.

beach2beach

KK2018

The poor-me's are natural so go ahead with it. Great that you played in the game. I know probably in a bit of a daze but it is great anyway. Trying to keep as much normalcy as possible while you wait is a good idea. I'd also keep that vacation if possible. Not for any other reason than to try and relax and enjoy.

southernbelle77

I’m sorry KK2018. I had my surgical biopsy on the 14th (I started my period that morning!) & on Friday I found out I have IDC, Grade 2, currently stage I. I have to undergo a mastectomy & I’m choosing bilateral. Also have a 2 week family vacation coming up. I leave July 14th for it. I’m going to do everything I can to keep that vacation as planned. My last beach vacation with my own I boobs. Lol. Rest up & then get back & fight. I think the obsessing & the pity party are normal because I’m doing it too. I hadn’t my doctor prescribe me some anxiety medication to help with that.

ml143333

For me, the waiting was the worst. I pray that your results will be benign, but if they are positive...ABSOLUTELY go on your vacation. Have surgery and everything upon your return. Yes - this year will suck if your results are positive, but you will have the memories of a wonderful vacation to carry you through.

Rrobin0200

kk2018... been thinking of you. How’s it going?

Meow13

kk2018, I was totally consumed and overwhelmed when I got the bad news. My radiologist knew it was cancer before the biopsy. I was so worried about everything including people telling me the first year is bad, then things get better. Well the first year was bad only emotionally I went through the surgery and the AI drugs with very little physical effects. I mean I had joint pain but it was more of an annoyance it didn't keep me from carrying on as usual.

I fretted about when my life would be normal again, the not knowing is the worse. I would ask for anti anxiety meds and go on vacation.

cancergirl49

I just read your post. I am sending good thoughts your way. I hope you are able to go on your trip and enjoy yourself. I too am waiting. My diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound were Category 5. I am getting a biopsy tomorrow. My tumor is 2 cm and I have a swollen lymph node too. Waiting is so very difficult. I have been trying to keep busy and tell myself to take things one step at a time. Hang in there

KK2018

Well, it was confirmed IDC grade 3 er/pr+ HER2-

Met with SO, MO, RO on Friday. Surgery, chemo, rads.

MRI showed slightly enlarged nodes but SO couldn’t feel anything so I won’t have that answer until MX. I’ve decided to do both just to be done with it. Met with PS today but she doesn’t do DIEP (irritated that no one mentioned this in my MDC meeting when I specifically mentioned it). I really would prefer that so I have this all done at once. Heading off for vacation and will meet with a new PS right when I get back. Surgery likely by August. What a whirlwind this has all been. Waves of sadness and panic but there’s no getting off this train so I guess here I Go! Thank you all for responding. I know this board is going to be such a lifeline over this next year

mustlovepoodles

I'm sorry for your bad news. I wish it had turned out differently.

Rrobin0200

kk2018... bummer. But, now you know. And now it’s time to get in fight mode. Go on your vacation, ENJOY yourself, and then come back ready! You’ve got this. Do they have a stage yet?

Canavaro

kk2018....you're not alone, although it may feel like it at times. I'm brand new here and your story caught my attention as it's similar to mine.

No Dx yet... but also woke up to what appeared to be a large mass “out of nowhere".

Mamo, and ultrasound done, birads 5...and mass similar in size to yours. MRI set for tomorrow.

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. We are stronger then we think, and it's okay to cry and feel mad, sad, ....actually any emotion, or sometimes no emotion. It's okay to be you....love yourself through this. Sometimes that love will feel compassion...sadness... sometimes rage. But the warrior in us all is fueled by love. So above all else .... love.

Interesting, but writing this is like I'm writing to myself as well.

Sendinglove your way.