Up and down emotions

finallyoverit

Here I am.. almost a year out from my Stage IV diagnosis and it still feels so surreal. I was never a huge crier, but I swear, I can cry at the drop of a hat these days. Some days feel pretty normal and others I am crying at everything. Not sure if it's the drugs they have me on or what, but man is that annoying. Please tell me it goes away at some point. It could be that I'm still trying to figure out how to live with a 4-level fusion and full leg neuropathy or that the reality of the diagnosis is finally settling in. I have no idea.. but it's annoying. Just had to vent to those who understand.

Micmel

everyday we feel a new feeling. Everyday I can tap into new anger. I don't think we ever go back to the way we used to think about anything. It's definitely ruined my life and the plans that have been made. But I'm not giving up. No one should. I guess if we have the days we need to cry. We should certainly cry. I scream, yell, whatever I can to let it out. It's just a torture we live. I have religious people saying “there shall be no suffering." Well guess What. I'm suffering. When I die. People will still be suffering. It never ends. Id like to believe that an almighty being wouldnt want his “children in a continued state of fear and worry" ever since cancer. I can't make sense of anything. So I bump along. Trying to take it day by day. We have no other choice. The relationships here. Help tremendously I am sure you know. I hope you master the way, because I don't think I ever will. Hugs ~M~