Nurse mocked me - I KID YOU NOT

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Jeremiah29-11
Jeremiah29-11 Member Posts: 17
edited April 2018 in Breast Reconstruction

Today at Northside Hospital Cancer Center in Atlanta, Georgia, I was at the radiologist's office preparing for my first treatment. Long story short, a nurse was trying to make small talk with me, (this conversation was entirely non-medical, she was not my nurse) and then she inappropriately noticed I am flat chested, ASKED me if I had a mastectomy (NONE of her freaking business, mind you), I nodded yes, and she had the GAUL to ask me if I was considering reconstruction, to which I replied I wasn't sure and she literally, I KID YOU NOT, threw her head back and LAUGHED and said "well I know what I would do!".

Needless to say, her superiors were notified.

This is just a reminder to all of my fellow warriors that just because you're in a medical office doesn't mean some fool won't say something stupid, yes, even medical staff. I will take this experience and learn to be on guard even in what I thought was a safe environment.

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  • Erica3681
    Erica3681 Member Posts: 1,916
    edited April 2018

    I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you spoke to her superiors about it.

    You might want to also post this on the Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy forum, where women who have chosen to go flat tend to hang out.

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  • sandcastle
    sandcastle Member Posts: 587
    edited April 2018

    I, have had some very stupid comments also from nurses....not well trained....your posting here is FINE....Liz

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2018

    Wow, a complete lack of boundaries and insensitivity from that nurse. Some people, nurses or not, just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. No filter. Good that you reported her; she's not helping others if this is her MO.

    BTW, your profile pic is beautiful!

    Hugs

    Claire in AZ

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  • Denise-G
    Denise-G Member Posts: 1,777
    edited April 2018

    Oh my, your post made me cry. It is bad enough for untrained people to say stupid things to you, but for a nurse to do so is horrific. If she said that to you, I can only imagine what has come out of her mouth to others. And the other even worse part of your story -- women are particularly vulnerable when starting radiation after they have been through surgery and chemo. I cried more during Rads then ever, and most women do.

    There is just no excuse for this. I AM SO SORRY.

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited April 2018

    I absolutely hate it when people try to be "light hearted, or think they are funny". I mean really look at what we go through.

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited April 2018

    I'm thinking this nurse probably believed she was just being friendly and conversational with you. I don't know what was going through her mind, but I bet she wasn't trying to mock you. She might be one of those people who don't bother to filter the thoughts that become speech.

    When I was in the churn of treatment I was very sensitive to offhand comments and questions and learned to avoid certain individuals, or abruptly change the topic of conversation. People who haven't been here don't understand how devastating it is to be asked, "what's your prognosis?" or receive the comment, "breast cancer is the GOOD cancer, and you get perky new boobs." It's just beyond their scope of experience.

    This is NOT to say that it's OK to make insensitive comments or pose nosy, inappropriate questions. It's just better for our own mental health if we can say to ourselves, "what an idiot," and move on.

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  • VegGal
    VegGal Member Posts: 507
    edited April 2018

    I had a nurse describe to me how "funny" it is when they unsuccessfully do CPR on a woman with implants in the ER and how they are just left "sticking up" after death! Seriously?!?! She got reported as well!

    We go through enough...no need for additional BS!

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited April 2018

    When I was first diagnosed and having an mri the nurse got a black marker and wanted to write the word cancer on the bottom of my shoe. I told her no I didn't want that. She said you can stomp out cancer. You need to fight.

    I need to be smart and deal with it the way I want to. If you get breast cancer then you can write cancer on the bottom of your shoe.

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  • Icietla
    Icietla Member Posts: 1,265
    edited April 2018

    (((Hugs)))

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  • Micmel
    Micmel Member Posts: 9,450
    edited April 2018

    people are dicks. Insensitive fools sometimes. You can be sure that some day somehow that will catch up with her ten fold. I'm so sorry for that to happen. I went out to dinner with my sweet DH and the idiot behind register opens her hole of a face and says."Ohhhh isn't that so nice that your mom can take you out to dinner.?" I am five years younger than my DH and my hair was just coming back in from total loss from Chemotherapy. It made me so hurt and upset. I just couldn't believe it. I was already feeling old before that had even happened. My DH leaned over and planted a big kiss right on my lips and said “Oh I know, she’s great”. He smiled and hugged me. He had my back. I am glad to see, in this case you had your own back! I cried the entire ride home. It was mean and unnecessary. Just dont open your mouth and they would be so much better off. Shitty people = shitty words. I'm sorry you found one. Hugs ~M~

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