Wife recently diagnosed with ER/PR+ IDC

BCwife

Hi,

I'm Claire. My wife was just diagnosed with IDC, Grade 2 (no official staging yet, but at least IIA). She has two tumors, 2.5 cm and 1.5 cm. KI-67 is 30%. That sounds scary from what I've read. She is ER/PR+, HER2 -. We're awaiting MRI results to see if they suspect it's in her lymph as well as genetic testing. She is only 35 years old. So far it looks like a double mast (her preference) + tamoxifen. We wanted to have another child (we have a 2 year old, but I carried her), so it seems like that's off the table for her now. She has said she would rather not have a newborn when she was closing in on 40. To further convolute things, we are moving cross-country in 4 short months for her dream job (college professor). Feel free to share your stories or any advice. Right now I'm compulsively researching and waiting for more test results...
Glad to be here.

Moderators

Hi there, Claire. Welcome to the community! We're sorry you're here and that your family is going through this, but we're glad you've joined us. The first days and weeks following a diagnosis are incredibly difficult. There are two forums that you might find helpful. The first is for caregivers and support persons: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/16. It's got a lot of helpful information for members such as yourself, who're supporting their loved one through breast cancer. The second is one that may be helpful for you and your wife, it's for members who've been diagnosed at a young age: https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/27. Being diagnosed at 35 means there are things she and you will have to consider as she begins treatment, and connecting with other members who've been down that road can be helpful.

Please let us know if we can be of assistance in anyway!

The Mods

Falconer

Dear Claire, I'm sorry to hear about your wife's dx. This is the hardest part, waiting for treatment to start. But you'll all get through it. You're in a good place to join BC.org. It's been a life raft life jacket life boat life line for so many of us!! When you have questions you'll surely find a thread so that your questions can be answered. Good luck to you all.

BCwife

Thank you both so much. We just found out this morning the biggest tumor is larger than we thought - 4cm - and all together at the widest it's 9cm of tumors.

Okkate75

I'm so sorry to hear you both are going through this. It is scariest at the beginning, when you don't yet have a plan. Hang in there! I'm a college professor, and I have a hunch that dream job of hers was hard to get. I hope they'll work with her as she goes through treatment--my college sure has. The flexibility of this job is a godsend. I'm sending good vibes your way for good news and workable plans. And my wife would certainly send her supportive-wife vibes to you in particular. I'm sorry you are here, but you are not alone.

BCwife

Thank you so much @Okkate75! It's so nice to hear that! Yes, the PHD process was long and tough! I am sure they will be nice - her Dean has cancer currently and they're so excited to have her onboard. I just hope she is well enough to manage by then (end of August). Glad to 'meet' you.

ksusan

Hi, BCwife. I had IIa ER+/PR+ IDC, plus DCIS. I didn't reconstruct after bilateral mastectomy. I'm also a professor. I think colleges/universities may be somewhat more sophisticated about disability and illness protections than many other workplaces. Everybody is different, but I was doing the online part of my teaching the evening after my surgery and was back in the classroom (with guest speakers) in a little over a week. I taught during chemo on days when my immunity wasn't at a nadir, and taught through radiation. I was going to teach the afternoon after having my chemo port removed, but I decided I didn't want to drive right after that. Granted, I had a mat in my office and took a lot of naps.

My wife would suggest that your wife should not try to help pack or carry stuff when you're getting ready for your move. Please look at the threads on how to decrease the risk of developing lymphedema on this website.

Best of luck, and do keep us posted.

BCwife

Thank you so much for that story, @ksusan.

My wife has decided to opt for a double mast as she has a high risk of recurrence/new cancers with her genetic background. Hopefully she'll get on the schedule soon.