Just diagnosed at 31

Warian_7

I'm so pleased to have found this site as it has helped me realize I am not alone. A few weeks ago i was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to my bones. I've been in a state of shock, how does this happen to a 31 year old with no family history of breast cancer ? I am concerned about what the future holds as far as my life expectancy-I do plan on fighting this and won't give up but I feel hopeless as the same time. I feel as though my dreams of starting my own family and having kids have been shattered. Has anyone had similar stories ? What was your experience like in regards to having children? Also, why does it seem like some of these doctors don’t care ..l went to see a surgeon about possible removal of my right breast where the cancer is. I asked what about doing the other breast, he turns to me and says there’s is no point, you have stages 4 that is incurable and that my time here is limited. I broke down ..left his office wondering can theyalk to you like that ?! Who says that. AnywU I called my general doctor and demanded to be seen at UCS in hopes of finding a better team that actually cares and has compassion for their patients

farmerlucy

Warian - Welcome to BCO. I’m so sorry for the dianosis. So hard to comprehend. If I were you I would repost your comments to the stage IV forum. I know there are ladies there who are in your shoes and would be happy to lend support.

Yeah really - who does talk like that? I guess that’s why he’s a surgeon. I’m sorry you had to experience that.

You are so smart to be your own best advocate. If you need help with anxiety you might ask your doctor to give you a prescription. Sending you gentle cyber hugs.

Warian_7

thank you 😘❤️

Peacetoallcuzweneedit

Warian- I am just sending you strength and healing to kick your cancer down - ...the diagnosis is hard enough, but to consider your age and stage...it is a lot to process...there is so much support on this website and please get out all your questions - just so much information available. Along with a Stage IV thread - there is a bone mets thread as well...sending hugs to you!

Rondeezee

Warian 7,

Welcome to BCO. Sorry that you had to join us at such a young age but there is no better place to be. The support amongst this sisterhood is amazing! So sorry to hear about the bedside manner of the surgeon you saw..how insensitive! Definitely try to get a surgeon who is caring and compassionate..it really makes all the difference. 21 years ago, I was diagnosed with BC at the age of 29. I was devastated! I survived and you can too! You will find that there are many women who are alive with Stage IV and mets and they are doing well and moving forward with life. You are a warrior so ball your fists up and fight like a champion. You will win. Sending you a big cyber hug and don’t hesitate to reach out to your sisterhood sothat we can be of support along your journey. 😘

wrenn

I'm so sorry. This really isn't fair. I hate cancer. It makes sense for old people because we all get something if we live long enough. For a young person it is horrid. :-( . Wishing you a smooth ride through treatment.

Warian_7

❤️

Warian_7

thank you

bluepearl

I am very, very sorry you are walking this road so early into your life. What type of b.c. do your have? HR+ or HR -? Treatments are different for each. There is still hope for many years of life and most importantly, there are genetic researches going on to make b.c. either curable or a manageable chronic disease and I think this will be available sooner than we think. I know pregnancy doesn't affect survival among women who have had breast cancer but don't know about active b.c. Anyway, let us know where you are with your type of cancer and we all have our cybers arms around you! ((((HUGS))))) BTW, removing the original tumour from the breast when it is stage 4 can actually make things worse.....your doctor needs a kick in the bum.

bluepearl

I looked up the pregnancy after stage 4 diagnosis and seems that women did ok.

KBeee

I hate this disease, and hate that you are facing this.

I definitely encourage you to get multiple opinions. I can only speak from the experience of several of my friends, but do know that there are varied opinions on your questions among oncologists. Many like to start with hormonal therapy and not start with chemo. Many hit it aggressively initially to try to get you NED, and then maintain that. The 3 people I know with bone only metastasis went this route. The first is a family friend. She had bilateral mastectomy, chemo, and then radiation to her bone metastases (she had 2). She has been NED for about 10 years. The other 2 are local. One is in chemo now and will do BMX then radiation. The other did chemo about 18 months ago, then BMX, and has been NED since. I would get a variety of opinions from various doctors at various locations. For me, a major medical center wanted to treat me non aggressively, "sure" that my tumor was non aggressive. They would not even consider further testing. A more aggressive doctor at a local center did more testing and realized my tumor was very aggressive and treated it accordingly.

As far as surgery, I think you do need to consider it. Especially based on this: http://www.ascopost.com/issues/july-10-2016/mixed-...

The key statement applies to you: "The greatest benefit was observed in patients with estrogen receptor–positive, HER2-negative disease, patients with solitary bone metastases, and those younger than age 55—"persons with a more indolent form of metastatic breast cancer," he added. On the other hand, patients with multiple liver and/or pulmonary metastases had a significantly worse prognosis with initial surgery."

Thinking of you!

aweate

that surgeon should be reported. That is unprofessipnal and unethical...

Nurses24

Hope ur doing well. I been recently diagnosed with hers2+. Not staged yet. I have a friend diagnosed stage 4 in her bones. They gave her 6 months. She went on chemo and she kept working. It's now 3 years she fighting this and she is 67 yrs old. Some docs have no bedside manner. I'm so sorry ur going thru this at a young age. I will pray for u just don't give up. So many are surviving. It isn't a death sentence. God b with . You. Give this to Jesus.

alwaysbepositive

Warian,

I have pretty much just joined BCO myself and my situation is very similar to yours. I was DX May 2017 after a leaky nipple and clear mammo. None of my Drs could believe I had cancer, nor could I. I was young and felt great! After a breast MRI, they that I had 4 tumors total in my left breast and no lymph node involvement. So my BS, who was the sweetest and most compassionate surgeon, said we need to do a mx ASAP. He was wonderful, he asks all of his patients if he can pray with them before surgery! He is really one of a kind. I wish he was in your hometown, he's in Louisville, KY. After my path came back, all my tumors we're IDC and triple positive, so I went to a MO that he recommended and after all my testing and scans realized it was in 3 bones and possibly my Adrenal Gland. I finished chemo for now and am currently on Herceptin and Perjeta for being HER2+ and Arimidex. I am doing really well, mets are a lot less active than when I started, so I am responding well. I am so encouraged by all the treatments available now, it's allowing us to have more hope than ever before! Many women are living 10 years and counting with mets and I plan to be one of them! I'm sure we all do.

So welcome, there are wonderful people here with a plethora of info. Remember don't be afraid, as "difficult roads lead us to beautiful destinations".