Just got diagnosed

mdevroy

I went in for my normal mammogram. I will admit I have not had one since 2012 I am 51. My sister had breast cancer at 38 but the genetics testing came back that it was not the genetic kind. They found a 2 CM mass that is Invasive poorly differentiated ductal carcinoma. Iam kind scared of whats next. My son will be 21 April 1 he already lost his dad in a car accident four hers ago his Papa my dad last year and My brother 5 Years ago my brother and dad both died of cancer. I will fight this I cant leave him. know just waiting on what to do next.

Nursepatient35

I am so sorry you have to deal with this and all the other losses you've had to deal with. You will get through this however. It just really really sucks right now. You are in the right place with this group. It's a good place to vent when you have a crappy day and it's a good place to share the good news you'll have as well. Keeping you in my prayers.

moth

Hugs mdevroy. This is the hardest time - when you get the diagnosis and you're in shock and don't have a plan yet. Hang in there - soon you'll be in treatment and yup, you can fight this. Sorry for all the losses your family has suffered.

Moderators

Hi mdevroy, and welcome to Breastcancer.org!

We're so sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but we're really glad you found us. As you can already see, our Community is full of helpful members, always willing to offer support, share experience and advice, and encourage you throughout your treatment journey. We're all here for you!

Please come back often, engage fully, and get support as you learn more about your diagnosis. There's always someone here who has experienced what you are going through, so ask lots of questions and you'll get great answers!

Looking forward to hearing more from you soon!

--The Mods

Positivityworkswonders

The best advice I was given...Take one step at a time! Don't let this overwhelm you,

Sorry for all of your losses. You can win this fight!

LeMo

I was also just diagnosed earlier this week, and am having a mastectomy next Friday...in one week! It is overwhelming, and feels as if it is happening to someone else. I am used to being on the "other side", supporting others who have gone through a mastectomy, Actually, that is how I know about this site...I always recommended it to my patients...

Moderators

Welcome, LeMo! We certainly understand how strange it can feel to be on the other side. We hope this community is a source of support for you, and we hope your surgery goes well next week!

The Mods

Ozzydog

Hello I have been diagnosed with Invasive duct cancer on 14 th Feb following a routine scan .On Thursday I had my second procedure to get clearer margins around my tumour site and they confirmed that although my tumour was small they have found evidence of cancer in my lymph which will have implications for my treatment plan in two weeks .

I have a lot of support from family friends and church community here in Durham in the uk and am very thankful for that . This is quite an emotional journey. I lost a close friend 6 weeks ago after a 7 year journey with this and my other Bessie has just had her final chemo so BC seems very much part of my life now and just adjusting to this new place . Any advice gratefully received .

Sue in uk 🇬🇧 x

dtad

mdervroy... so sorry you have to be here but welcome. I know you find this forum both comforting and full of knowledge. Try to stay off google. It is not your friend right now. The beginning is the worst. I promise you will feel better once you have all the details and a treatment plan in place. IMO being treated at a university based teaching hospital is very important. Good luck and keeps posted. We are all here for you.

Georgia1

Sue and all, the advice received so far is spot on. The early phase is usually the worst: so much confusion and uncertainty. My advice is to ask questions of your doctors; research only as needed and only on reputable sites like this one, Komen, ACS or NCI; and otherwise try to stick to your normal routine. It gets much better once a treatment plan is decided upon and underway.

I also highly recommend a book available on Amazon called "Navigating Breast Cancer" by a nurse named Lillie Shockney. It is easy to read, calming, and has practical information for dealing with family and friends, etc. And of course please come back often and let us know how we can help.

beach2beach

Mdevroy,

Sorry you have joined us here, but welcome. I was diagnosed last summer at age 51. 3 kids. Oldest will be 23,21 and 17 I walked around existing during that time to not alarm the kids. Just reassure him you are/will be doing the most you can do, and that you are not going anywhere soon and that he needs to continue on with what he is doing. Thats what I told my kids. My sister was 48 when she was diagnosed. She's now 9yrs NED.. It's tough but you will get through this. Best thing I heard was that once a plan was in place you gain some control back.

Keep us posted on your plan once you know. Hugs...

ToughCookie101

Mdevoy, sorry you have to join us and I am sorry for your losses. That is a tough go of things. I had a 2cm IDC, diagnosed at the age of 33 on November 15th, 2017. Also no proven genetic link. I don't have kids, however I think I might share some of your pain. My mom died suddenly ten weeks before I found my lump, and my dad of course took the news really hard (they had been married for 43 years). My fathers health temporarily suffered as a result of the stress. The first thing I thought about when I was diagnosed was that I couldn't put my dad or my little brother through any more stress, hurt, or through another loss. That thought almost hurt more than my diagnosis and it tore me up. I have tried everything to keep a positive face for my family. It's hard at times. I think it does help me lower my stress a bit, which can only be good right?

My mom was a nine year breast cancer survivor (diagnosed at 58 with three tumors) when she suddenly passed away of something unrelated to cancer mid 2017. If it wasn't for that, she would have kept thriving cancer-free, like so so many women do. And there is no reason to think you won't be in that bucket too!! This part of unknowns is tough. As others mention, once you have more details and a plan it does get easier.

I was 24 when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and my brother was 21. My mom's last radiation treatment was on my 25th bday; I had a huge party and she celebrated with us with a big smile on her face. I remember the day she told us of her diagnosisclearly. I won't deny that I was worried. I saw a lot of strength in my mom when she bounced back fast post-mastectomy, and throughout her treatments. I was scared once she was first diagnosed, but I somehow had confidence that she would be ok. I would give anything to have her here to help me through my treatments, but her strength is helping me today.

Have you had the biopsy? The ultrasound can say if it is likely to be cancer, but only the biopsy can confirm 100%.

mdevroy

Yes I have had the needle biopsy. My son is my world he gives me strength. But I won't put that much pressure on him. Iam in a good place finally with a man that will always love and support me. There are freak out times but I step away find my inerstrength and my peaceful place and just breath.

MO-Beth

mdevroy,

First of all, I'm so sorry! I'll never forget the day I was diagnosed. No family history. My mom had three cysts on her breasts that were tested and were false alarms in her life and she never had breast cancer and I thought that's what my lump was going to be. I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

So here's my advice:

I didn't mention a word about finding a lump to my husband of 34 years or to our grown and married daughter until after the biopsy and after they let me know that it was for sure cancer. So you can imagine that I know how you feel...I just didn't want anybody to worry about me and I didn't want anybody to cry or be sad! The fact is (and it was the same for me) you're going to need to tell your son after you find out what's going on. You're going to have to figure out how to tell him.

BUT here's the deal...I think you're going to be all right! I was soooooooooooo scared of that cancer word! Terrified that I was a goner! But the doctors assured me that IDC was the most common form of breast cancer and the most curable because I was diagnosed at age 56 and post-menopausal. I had a lumpectomy, they found no cancer in my lymph nodes. I had a so-so score on the test to see if I needed chemo, so no chemo. I had a few weeks of radiation. I take Femara (letrozole) and will take that for five years to hopefully prevent recurrence of cancer. I've had no side effects with lumpectomy, radiation or letrozole. So far, so good...(diagnosed in 10/2016)

Please stay here on breastcancer.org and keep getting the support from all of these people who've been through this. We are with you. We will be here for you.

mdevroy

I told my son and my sister this weekend face to face.

beach2beach

How did it go? Its tough. Love, support and understanding is whats needed. Glad you have a significant other to stand by you. It can make a world of difference.

mdevroy

it went well my sisters are great and Joe is ok a little scared but we all are. I just keep telling him that as soon as I find out anything I will let him know and I plan on being fine. It just might be a bad summer but will get through it

MO-Beth

Oh, mdevroy! Good for you! What a huge relief for you! I'm hoping you get really good news regarding your treatment that this is all behind you before you know it. Saying my prayers that everything is just a breeze and a blur with no complications, no glitches, no aggravations and no pain.

I didn't even initially tell my family...do you think I signed up online and came here after my diagnosis to get support? NOPE! I DID NOT. I only came here after treatment and healing and after the family and friends started relaxing, but I started worrying that it may come back. I had been lurking and reading all along, but I only signed up because I had some questions to ask and I knew everybody here would know and understand. I already felt like family just from reading all the posts (Thank you, everybody!)

So I urge you to use us all the way along your journey. We are here for you. There is somebody here for every category to help you with all the things that you could worry about.

mdevroy

My Appointment with U of M Breast center is April 2. I guess its all day with testes and informational classes along with getting my treatment plan. I've been doing good but today I'am scared and angry at my self. Angry that I let my mammogram go for so long. I should have known better. Scared that I will leave my son with no parent, the treatment, I guess everything. I want the appointment to hurry up and get here but I also don't want to know . Just a bad day

waytooanxiousmommy

I am praying for you and relating so much. My 15 year old son became depressed with my diagnosis. For me as a parent thats what breaks my heart about having cancer is how it hurts my kids. Our kids need us and we can't leave them alone in the world. You will fight this and survive just like me. Do what you can. Get the best treatment, make the lifestyle changes, get support and pray to god. Love and hugs

jpBCfree

FYI

My breast cancer surgeon, Dr. Kristi Funk (who is amazing) has written a book called BREASTS: THE OWNER'S MANUAL which is a guide to reducing cancer risk, making treatment choices and optimizing outcomes. There is nothing like it out there. I've read a pre-release copy and it's brilliant-- so straightforward and practical-- I wish I had read this years ago and maybe I wouldn't need to be on this board! :0

She offers a free download of one chapter on her website so you can see for yourself...I highly recommend for those of us going through this BC journey as well as cancer-free women to increase odds of staying that way. It's a great mom's day gift for women in your life.

More info and pre-order here https://pinklotus.com/elements/breasts-the-owners-...