My mom doesn't want to do chemotherapy

kai2fast

She said she wants to just go straight to the mastectomy surgery process in which she'll get two of her breasts removed. She said this because my grandfather, who survived liver cancer some time ago, said that going through chemotherapy is a living hell. I feel as if she has to do this chemotherapy because there might be some cancer left over if she just goes straight to the surgery process. Is this a good idea or a bad idea?

sandcastle

This, journey is hers....She knows what she can do and not do....she can get facts but in the End it is all her choice....Liz

VL22

kai2fast - sorry you and your mom are dealing with this.

First, if you can give any details about her diagnosis that would help. Her age, tumor size, any nodes involved etc

Second, chemo has changed a lot since “some time ago”. Side effects are much better managed than they were.

Also, keep in mind that TNBC is very aggressive with a better chance of spreading than other breast cancers. And there are no targeted therapies - it’s surgery, chemo and maybe radiation.

Please come back with any questions and keep us posted. Get all the education you can.

kai2fast

She was diagnosed on February 22, 2018 at 53 years old; her tumor size is 2.8 centimeters big, and fortunately none of her lymph nodes were affected. 

jarris77

Hello kai2fast. I was diagnosed with TNBC in 2013 at 56 years old. I had chemo...cytoxan and taxotere, and had very few side effects. It wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but much easier than I was expecting. It's possible that your Mom may do much better than she's imagining. I did lose my hair, but that's a very small price to pay. It's been almost 5 years since I was diagnosed. I have never regretted doing the chemo. None of us has any guarantees, but I wanted to know that I had done everything I could. I hope your Mom is at peace with whatever she decides to do.

Cowgirl13

kai2fast, please tell your mother that I was terrified of chemo and told the oncologist that I'd rather be dead than go through chemo. And I meant it. Fortunately my oncologist was terrific. Chemo was very doable. I was afraid of it because I had seen my mom go thru it in the 1970's. It's not like that anymore.

wrenn

Make sure she gets all the information she needs from her medical specialists and then respect her decision. It is her life and she has the right to choose even if it is hard for you to accept.

I have triple negative metaplastic and without chemo am doing fine at 5 years.

Hoping for a smooth ride for both of you.

VL22

All the ladies here make great points. Your mother is young. Her doctors will advise if she is healthy enough for chemo. According to guidelines it would definitely be recommended.