My wife was diagnosed and I am very scared - ki-67 at 60%~70%

jorge_brazil

Hello, there.

I'm not sure if I can post here, since I'm not a woman, but I'm very scared and very nervous. At early january, my wife found a lump on her breast and two weeks ago we got the positive result for breast cancer. She went throught many tests, her mastectomy will probably be conducted at early march followed by chemo. We will be certain of these things next week, when all the test results will be ready.

But some of them just started arriving at her email and the ki-67 level made me very scared. At 60/70%, I know it is considered very high, since anything above 20% is high. We also got ER positive and HER2 negative, which seems to be good news, according to what I googled. But searching about high ki-67, all I found are unfavorable prognostic factors and shorter surival rate.

I know I shouldn't be looking for those things online before talking to a doctor and getting a more accurate report, but I'm terrified by the prospect of losing her. We met in high school and started dating while we were in college and have been together ever since. Our marriage is very good and things were fantastic so far, we were planning to have kids in late 2018 but now we have no idea about our future.

It has been hard to stop thinking about this and I'm just crying and feeling breathless. I run every day and usually running my daily 6k calms me a lot, but I just couldn't do it. As soon as I started running, my thoughts went back to it and my heart rate and breathing got all screwed. I don't know what to do.

Sorry for the long post, but what are your experiences with high ki-67 breast cancer? What should I expect?

Moderators

Dear jorge,

Welcome to the community. It is best to let your wife's medical team interpret these results and help you to understand them. Having information without medical explanation and treatment plan can make most people nervous. here is link to our main site about the test that you are concerned about and how it is used check this out. You may use this article to formulate some questions (but do not use it to lead you to any kind of conclusion)for her doctor who can best explain it. We do have a forum for Caregivers where you might find some help with supporting your wife and yourself. Stay active here and keep us posted. The Mods

KBeee

Many, many women with high ki67 scores do very, very well. Cells that are dividing rapidly seem to respond the best to chemo. You can support her by thinking positive. Assume the best, that you will have many more years together, ask her what she needs, help with meals and housework while she's tired from chemo (or arrange to have someone else help), go for walks with her, take her out to eat, sit and watch fun movies with her, and try to do things fun. Shave your head with her and pose for crazy bald pictures. Don't make it all negative. She can do this, and you can too. Be positive nad be by her side. And tell her how beautiful she is.

She's luycky to have such a loving, caring husband.

Runrcrb

Jorge - I'm sorry that you and your wife are in this club. You are brave to reach out. As others have said, formulate questions and ask your wife's doctors rather than believing everything you see on the internet. Don't hesitate to ask the questions repeatedly until you understand. Don't hesitate to get a second opinion or find a new doctor if you aren't getting the relationship you want with the first doctor. In my experience, doctors are human, most mean well but most haven't experienced it from the patient side. They can speak in language that is very common and comfortable to them but a whole new language for you so ask questions. If you can, take someone along with you to take notes as it seems you are as distraught as your wife.

When my doctor called me to tell me my biopsy was malignant, after telling me I was ER+/PR+, HER2-, she said "if you have to have breast cancer, you have the good one."

Good luck. You seem like an ideal partner to support your wife through this.

Maggie7272

I am so sorry for your situation, your wife is so lucky to have your support. Wait on the doctor to get more info.

moth

Just FYI, Ki scores are not provided by all pathologist and not all oncologists use them in designing a plan. I don't know mine at all. I only have Grade. But yes, as said above, it tends to indicate how fast replicating the cells are, and chemo works best on cells that are quickly replicating.

Personally I steer away from looking at stats. Stats apply to large groups of people and do not tell you about your own situation. When I got diagnosed I started a blog called "never tell me the odds" (from Star Wars ) Our oncologists need to think about numbers in order to give us the best treatment & at some point you may need to think about risk/benefit of certain treatment options, but generally, I think it's best to just assume you'll beat it, consider your oncologist's expert advice, and hit it as hard as they say you need to.

As your wife's tumor is ER+ you may be eligible for Oncotype testing which tries to predict the rate of recurrence. Remember the thing with breast cancer is that in early stages you can cut it out, do chemo &/or radiation and be cancer free. The problem is it can recur and depending on where it recurs, that can be a whole deal changer. IMO, the whole trick here is to prevent spread and risk recurrence and tests like Oncotype and others can help guide how aggressive your treatments need to be.

And you'll discover you're stronger than you think. Consider seeing a counsellor - it can really help to have an impartial person to express your fears. Take care of yourself so you can be there for your wife.

best wishes

Tinkland

I was just diagnosed early stage of breast cancer. It was an out of body experience being told that. Anyway, I’m a smoker and obviously I know I need to quit. What did I do when I got the call I had cancer? - I immediately went outside to smoke! I have been smoking more since being told I have cancer. I don’t know what to do or how to quit. I have smoked more then half of my life. Please any suggestions! Thank you:(

ShetlandPony

Tinkland, there is a Stop Smoking Support Thread here. Just do a keyword search for it.

Traveltext

Jorge, many men post here asking questions in support of their partners. There's some good tips on this post, but here's another. Go to all her appointments and take notes, ask questions, and generally show her medical team that you are on this case as well. As her medical advocate you have an important role to play as you navigate treatment. Good luck.