Therapist choice: One who has, or hasn't had breast cancer?

ksusan

I'd be interested to hear about people's preferences. If you were choosing a new therapist in order to get help for breast cancer issues, and assuming they all had the same expertise as therapists informed about BC, would you prefer one who you know has had BC? One who may or may not have, but has had a family member with BC? Someone who hasn't? Would you want to know when you were choosing your therapist? How about a therapist who doesn't disclose one way or the other, but is flat, or one-sided, or wears an LE sleeve?

Larkspur

I'd certainly prefer a woman, and one who's over 40: old enough to have had a few mammograms herself and to have some familiarity with serious illnesses: her own, or those of family members and friends. The empathy factor matters a lot!

Lisey

I would NOT want a women who had breast cancer... To many types, too many stages, not one person has the same disease as another. Even though therapists try to stay impartial, they are people too, and could be triggered or emotional about your choices and concerns. They may have chosen something opposite what you are doing and it could conflict with their neutral stance. For example, if I was seeing a therapist, they'd hear all about my advocacy for going flat and all the horrors I feel about the plastic surgery expected on women. If she got recon, I know I'd trigger her with my candid views about the industrial medical profit complex. I neither want that kind of judgement or to be the cause of triggering someone when I'm supposed to be not censoring myself and speaking my peace.

See, I try to refrain from being completely candid in mixed company, but in therapy - that is where you should be free to say anything.. and if they made choices you didn't - you'd either censor yourself or trigger them.

Hopeful82014

Lisey, there are others on this board, mental health professionals, who could probably speak directly to that issue. However, I don't think you're giving licensed, credentialed therapists enough credit. Most would probably have (should have) developed an approach to avoiding the types of issues you're positing, probably in concert with a mentor or other experienced colleague. I'd actually be surprised if it's not addressed in coursework and internships.

ShetlandPony

As a person living with mbc, I would feel I had to hold back and protect the therapist who had a history of bc, knowing I represent the worst nightmare of many early-stagers. I know a good therapist would have worked through and set aside her own stuff, but I would still feel inhibited. But I think an early-stager (I used to be one) would like to know that she had found a therapist with a knowledge base and an understanding of how the rest of the world may respond to us (for example, stupid comments, friends who flee), and how it is never really over, especially with treatment side effects and recurrence fears. So if you are really in a good place and can handle it, I'd say try mentioning it.

IntegraGirl

I just saw a therapist who had gone through BC. Bloody useless. I think the key is just finding a good therapist

mustlovepoodles

I agree. I have bipolar disorder. Should I ONLY seek out those therapists who also have bipolar disorder? Im also a nurse. Does this mean that i should ONLY take care of bipolar patients who have breast cancer? Of course not. How silly. A good therapist, like any good health practitioner, does not have to have personal experience with a condition to be able to help people.

ShetlandPony

I agree that a good therapist does not need to have personal experience with bc to help a bc patient. The therapist I used to see, who helped me figure out how to live well with mbc, did not have a history of bc. But she had experience working in a hospital and leading a cancer support group, and she had a chronic medical issue herself. I think she would have been a fantastic therapist even without these experiences, but I do feel her background made it so I did not have to explain too much before getting to the main issues.

Catsme

Mine is female, hasn't had BC, but is part of an organization called Cancer Family Care. They provide services to individuals and families who have or had cancer, regardless of type, stage or part of body affected.

She has shown support, empathy and guidance throughout, and I feel she does understand what I'm experiencing.

gb2115

I don't think it matters really, but I see one who has no history of cancer. She is still really good.

But yes, if you are a good therapist, it shouldn't matter whether or not you have experienced something, and I agree with some above who suggest concern that someone who has had BC might not be impartial. But then again, if they're any good at what they're doing, it shouldn't matter.

Beatmon

Whichever you choose, if it doesn’t mesh...change therapist

Tracyne

what I would like is an oncologist and oncology nurses who had breast cancer 😉

Trac

JKL2017

Tracyne, I totally agree that it can help to have medical professionals who understand BC from a personal point of view. My gyn had breast cancer about two years before I was diagnosed & she has been an amazing resource & an incredible source of support. She recommended her BS (who I love!) & steadied me through the initial days between diagnosis & treatment. She continues to make herself personally available as needed & I am grateful beyond words to have her in my life.

ksusan

I don't disagree with that, but I'm a therapist, not a medical professional trying to make decisions about my practice.

moth

I really don't know. I spent a long time doing peer breastfeeding counseling and my professional designation is also in a field which I was involved in as a client, so you'd think I'd understand seeing someone coming from a similar place...... but the more I consider it, the more I think I would prefer one that hadn't had it.

While I think the vast majority of mental health professionals are very good at creating a distance and not enmeshing with their patients, the more overlap in experience and circumstance, the harder it is.

I think I want to see someone who understands life transitions and crises and fear but who isn't themselves personally affected by breast cancer.

NotVeryBrave

I know that trained professionals shouldn't be influenced by their own life circumstances, but I think they sometimes can't help but be - at least a little bit.

I was matched with someone through a peer support thing. She was a similar age and diagnosis. She called me just once and was so "positive" - made it sound like everything was easy and she had no problems - that I never sought her assistance after treatment started and so many things went south.

I see a therapist now and have no idea of whether or not BC has touched her life. I think I'd rather not know maybe. I really agree with the preference for anyone to have training specific to cancer in any case.