Telling friends at work about your diagnosis

Axolotl

At what point and how did you tell close coworkers/colleagues about your diagnosis? How did that go for you? Any regrets? If you decided not to share, what was your thought process?

Katiejane777

I had to tell my work as I needed a bit of time off after my surgery and flexibility during radiation. I work with high needs special needs kids and kids with severe behavioural issues. I needed to be well healed from surgery to work with these kids and do all the driving required. My work was amazing and very supportive. I've transitioned back to work and plan to work during rads as long as I feel ok.

edwards750

Katie - I so admire you for working with special needs kids. My nephew is autistic and has CP. He is 26 years old. Needless to say my brother and SIL have a monster cross to bear. It’s heartbreaking to say the least. They are such brave committed parents. He is my DH and my Godson. He is very tall and walks constantly but doesn’t talk.

Feel better. Thanks for all you do.

Diane

edwards750

Katie - I so admire you for working with special needs kids. My nephew is autistic and has CP. He is 26 years old. Needless to say my brother and SIL have a monster cross to bear. It's heartbreaking to say the least. They are such brave committed parents. He is my DH and my Godson. He is very tall and walks constantly but doesn't talk.

Feel better. Thanks for all you do.

Diane

Moderators

Hi Axoloti,

In addition to the helpful responses above, you may find the page from the main Breastcancer.org site on Telling Your Boss and Co-Workers About Your Breast Cancer Diagnosis helpful. Also, the larger Breast Cancer and Your Job section offers other advice on all aspects of working during treatment, taking time off work for treatment, and other concerns.

We hope this helps!

--The Mods

gb2115

Mine knew right away. They knew I was going in for the mammogram and then the biopsy. And then I got the call with the bad news at work during lunch. I'm terrible at hiding things so it was easier for me to have everyone know what was going on. We are a small work environment and we are all pretty much friends (like we'd be friends outside of work). Everyone has been great.

Katiejane777

Edwards 750 Thank you. The kids I work with are in foster care. I do their Supervised contact visits usually with their parents but sometimes with siblings or other family members. I am amazed everyday at the dedicated foster carers who take on these challenging kids. My company tends to have a lot of behavioural and special needs kids. I work with lots of autistic kids. I'm so glad your nephew has great parents. I admire them so much. It is such a HARD job. I get to go home at the end of my shift, they have a lifetime of challenges and worr.y

I truly love my job and I worried terribly how me being off work would affect the kids. Some of them I have been their regular worker for over 5 years. I'm transitioning back now.

Axolotl

Thanks for your responses!

My employer knows as I've had to take some time off to recover from surgery. So far, they've been very supportive. I haven't told most of my colleagues, but I'd like to as I'm fairly close to them (I'm an elementary teacher). I'm also not very good at keeping things hidden. When I found out the results of my biopsy it was over the holidays and when I go back to work I'll be seeing my coworkers for the first time since my diagnosis. I think initially I needed some time to myself to process my own feelings and shock before dealing with the reactions of other people.

@Katiejane77: I hope your recovery has gone well. You have a hard job, too!

momand2kids

I remember struggling with this--I originally thought I would tell everyone (I work in a large institution with lots of colleagues and friends). But I realized quickly that if I told alot of people, I would spend alot of time with people asking me how I was (I worked through chemo and radiation). And work was the one place where I felt I could "get away" from cancer...... so, I only told my very immediate colleagues who needed to know because it would impact them, and they all covered for me with everyone else. For me, only when treatment was over, was I able to talk about it more broadly. This ultimately worked for me, but everyone really has to do what works for them. best of luck!

ElaineTherese

Hi!

I began by telling my office manager and a few colleagues who needed to know that I was planning to step back from some work responsibilities. One of my colleagues and his wife got very involved, and they let EVERYONE know about my situation. At first, it was sort-of embarrassing, but since I needed help, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Lots of people helped us with some of our specific challenges (like getting my daughter to basketball practices), and I was glad to have their help.

In the end, I have decided that it's OK to be very public about my experience with cancer. Cancer is what it is. If people have questions, I don't mind answering them. I'm glad that I can explain the disease to others, and to show them that a person diagnosed with cancer can still "keep calm and carry on."

Best wishes to you!

sswp

I told a three of my employees right away because I thought I would need them to take on some of my responsibilities during my treatment. I do regret telling a newly hired assistant that I was going for surgery (didn't disclose what kind of surgery) and that I didn't know when I'd be back at work. The assistant blabbed that I was gone for surgery to other employees, suppliers and clients. It turned out I came back in under a week and worked remotely during my absence even on the day of the surgery. So I do regret telling the assistant because I wasn't gone for long and he lacked discretion.

I have a new assistant and I've decided not to tell him anything. This may change depending on how much time I'll be away from the office during chemo. I figure I might not be taking much time off in which case why bother saying anything.